I can remember smiling from reading all of the positive reviews my album and film was getting. Once Brandon informed me that I was also nominated for the Baeksang awards I was literally SCREAMING.

I am also excited for "let's play house" to come out. Even though my role being a mother and wife only lasted for a week, it kind of felt nice.

Shownu and I ended up getting close and becoming friends. Literally onthe last day we both decided to keep in contact with each other which wasn't going to be hard.

We were literally going to see each other at the MAMA next week. Which I have been working extremely hard for. Day in and Day out, I've been in the studio nonstop. Unless I had solo interviews and photoshoots.

Which unfortunately has taken up all of my time meaning I barely get to see the boys anymore. When I do it's either to tell them good morning and that I was leaving. I don't get home until late, and by then most of them would already be sleeping.

It's too the point where I haven't even spoken to NamJoon. I mean seriously spoken to him. He dropped the L-word in front of me, and then in front of my parents and till this day we hadn't spoken about it.

Sure, I have feelings for him. But right now everything is way to complicated for me to confirm them. Specially if I'm not totally sure.

I yawned softly entering the dorm room. I shut the door, locking it. I tossed off my sneakers and placed my dance bag down. I was finally home after a long day, I honestly just wanted to take a shower and go to sleep.

I walked out the foyer making my way into the living room to hear the television on remembering it had to see about one in the morning meaning the boys should be asleep by now.

I walked into the living room to see Joon laying on the couch with the television on. I glanced up at the sleeping tall boy to realize I hadn't much got a glimpse of him in days.

I had forgotten what being around him felt like. I had forgotten how his laugh sounded or how he looked whenever he was mad.

I sigh walking further into the living room grabbing the remote and turning off the television.

I placed it down on the coffee table, grabbing a throw blanket off the other side of the couch. I slowly without trying to wake him up placed the blanket on him.

I slowly brushed his messy hair out of his face. I glanced at his lips, and swallowed hard. My heart was pounding and I couldn't control it.

How is that possible? He makes me heart pound and he wasn't even awake.

I heard footsteps walking from down the hallway, I quickly removed myself away from NamJoon.

I walked out living room to see Yoongi who was half awake himself.

"Ash... your home. I was wondering who was at the door" he says rubbing his eyes.

"sorry if I woke you" I say nodding apologizing knowing how badly he valued his sleep.

"I'm just glad you made it home on time" he says.

"I'm gonna go to bed now. So goodnight" I say quickly trying to end this conversation.

"Don't forget tomorrow we fly to America. So get a good night sleep" he informs me.

"We're going to America?" I ask him raising my eyebrow.

"For a couple interviews. Billboard and some lady Ellen. Also to promote the new album coming out in April" he tells me.

I nod before smiling and walking past him walking into my room.

-

It's felt like ages since I had an interview with the boys. Recently all I've been doing is solo stuff and honestly I couldn't be more happy but at the same time I didn't join BTS to become a solo artist.

That wasn't my plan nor my intention.

I remember watching all of our old interviews, how in the beginning I was closer to the group, and now it's like I'm Normani, and that's BTS.

Speaking of interviews. I haven't been on Ellen since my fifth Harmony days, when we were promoting Work From Home.

"normani? Are you even listening?" Brandon asks me bringing me out my thoughts. I look up at him nodding, even though I wasn't.

"After this you have photoshoot to go to" his words annoyed me.

"Another photoshoot? How many photoshoot am I going to have? Isn't this like The 4th one this week?" I asked him which annoyed him.

"Your just as annoyed with them as I am with booking them for you. But it's what the company wants. And what they want, they get", he tells me.

There was a sudden knock on the door, both Brandon and I turned our attention to the door.

"Ms. Kordei they're ready for you" the woman said causing me to nod and smile. I turned back to Brandon, "we'll continue this conversation later" he tells me.

I walked out the dressing room walking backstage off the set following the woman.

I saw my seven members standing speaking amongst each other. I notice how Jimin turns and looks at me who then catches the attention of JungKook who mouth drops looking at me causing the rest of the members to turn and look at me.

I slightly smiled looking up to see Joon who stared the most out of the seven. The dress I wore wasn't anything revealing but it did fit my body perfectly showing all my curves and how fat my ass was.

I walked to them. "You guys looked like you seen a ghost", I say rolling my eyes.

"More like an angel" the corny words escaped from Joon's mouth causing me to smirk.

The boys on the other hand couldn't help but laugh at Joon's corny compliment.

"All the way from South Korea... give it up for B.T.S!!!" Ellen says causing the audience to scream. Which also let us know that it was time for us to go on stage.

We walked out from backstage smiling and waving at the fans who screamed at our appearance.

"Wow! Hello, guys!" Ellen greets the boys who smiled and nodded softly.

"Normani!" She shouts.

"Ellen!" I shout back smiling walking towards her giving her a hug. I hadn't seen her in so long.

I then took my seat in between Joon and Taehyung. I pulled down at my dress realizing they were above my knees showing too much skin.

NamJoon then stands up and takes off his jacket getting the expected reaction from the girls in the crowd who screamed at us.

He then hands it to me and I smile as I place it over my legs. NamJoon takes his seat holding the microphone.

"I'm so happy that you guys are here. In America!" Ellen says causing the audience to scream.

NamJoon laughs showing his dimples which caused the inner me to fan girl the most. He brings the mic up to his lips and begins to speak.

"We're so happy that we are here as well. Thank you for having us" NamJoon says causing the other members to nod.

"Okay. So there's a couple of things I want to ask you all but first I got to talk to my girl Normani" Ellen pauses bringing the attention on me.

"The last time I saw you, you were here with the ladies of fifth harmony. And now it's your like a completely different person. How have you been? One day your here, the next your Korea. Literally everyone here freaked out when they found out you joined BTS. How... wow. I don't even know what to say" she says.

I let out a laugh, Namjoon passes me the mic.

"Surprisedly, it's still a little new to me. But yeah. I've been amazing. I'm honestly so grateful for opportunity. I've been so blessed with meeting and getting to know these seven boys and their amazing and dedicated fans. So yeah" I answer professionally smiling.

"Alright. So my first question is for the the leader, himself. RM" Ellen says causing the girls in the audience to scream.

I pass the mic back to NamJoon.

"So... being the leader of a very successful group means you have to be very observant on everything. Including your members. Which member do you think had improved the most?" She asks causing the audience to ohhh.

I laughed slightly nodding waiting for NamJoon to answer.

NamJoon looks around before bringing the mic to his mouth.

"Before Mani. It was Jimin. But since Mani joined, I would absolutely say Normani" he answered causing the audience to scream.

I glance at him smiling he avoids eye contact explaining why he chose me.

"We all knew Normani was good before she joined, but I don't think we knew how good she was. I mean still till this day she practices endlessly and gives her all in every performance. I could definitely see the difference from then and now" he explains causing Ellen to nod.

"So this is for all of you. Who do you think is the most messiest member in the house?" She asks.

Seconds later we either pointed a finger and said the name. I really didn't know a messy member because I didn't have one. So I just pointed to Taehyung.

But more fingers were pointed at Suga.

"Why'd you point at me?" Taehyung asks me causing the audience to laugh.

"Me? How am I messy?" Suga asks looking around at us.

"Oh come on. You know how" JungKook shouts at me causing us to laugh.

Yoongi gasps looking around, "let me explain. Yoongi is the type to make the mess and when it's time for us to cleanup, he goes... "ash! Who made all this mess, seriously" Joon explains causing everyone in the entire set to laugh.

"Okay.. okay. Next question. Which member is always in a good mood?" Ellen asks.

Seconds later, we all point to J-hope who smiles causing the audience to scream.

"It's only because that's literally his personality. In the number of days of being in BTS, I don't think I have ever seen J-hope mad or sad, or anything like that. Like if one of us a issue or something is bothering us, J-hope is always there to make us laugh or forget about the situation" Joon explains.

I nod at his explanation.

"So next question is for the boys. Have any of you guys ever hook up with a fan?" Ellen asks causing me bust out laughing, which also caused the fans to scream.

"Hooked up?" JungKook asked in confusion. In Korea the term of hooking up is literally having sex. No jumps around it.

"Come on.. you know what hooked up means?" Ellen says. The boys themselves looked confused. RM and I are the only ones who got it I think.

"What?" Yoongi says before laughing.

He clearly understands that too.

I cleared my throat, "she's means 팬과 엮어서" I say causing them to either laugh or say "oh".

"Not" Taehyung says causing the audience to laugh. I smiled at how adorable he was speaking English.

"No" RM corrected him.

"Yeah. What he said" Taehyung says causing me to smile.

"So that means none of you guys in a relationship or anything?" Ellen asks causing the audience to scream.

I swallowed hard. Why was she asking all these questions who our personal life.

NamJoon chuckles before looking around at all of us, "nah. Nah. I think we're mainly focused on our careers right now. So there really isn't time for any relationship. Right, guys?" Joon says quickly responding professionally and smartly.

The boys either nod or said yeah in agreement.

Which is probably true? NamJoon and I can't work because... well I don't really have a reason right now.

I mean we tried. Well we sort of tried but things always seem to get in the way. And as things I mean lisa and Bam.

"What about you, Mani? You're awfully quiet. Do you have a boyfriend?" Ellen smirks causing the audience to scream again.

Without realizing it my eyes glanced up to NamJoon who was already looking at me. I quickly then looked to Ellen whose face expression told everything she just saw.

"No. No boyfriend"

She arches her eyebrow, smirking.

"And I guess that also means no girlfriend as well?" She asks.

I hear Yoongi cough, causing all of us to turn to him. I turn back to Ellen... I laugh softly.

"No. None of that. Like he said were all pretty much focused with our careers" I explain.

"Alright. So before we leave I do have one quick question for all of— before Ellen could finish I noticed I figure jump up from inside the side table causing me to scream and almost half of BTS to yell.

"Oh wow. Wow.wow" j-hope says shaking his head as his was on the floor. Jin who looked scared the most was already up and out his seat.

Jimin and JungKook were laughing, Taehyung looked around in confusion and Yoongi himself was unfazed by the entire situation.

Without noticing NamJoon's arm was placed over me as if he was blocking me, my hands held his arm.

The audience laughed and also reacted to NamJoon. How is first instinct was to protect me.

Ellen herself was laughing uncontrollably at all of this. NamJoon turns to me, as I breathed heavily.

"You okay?" He asks.

I swallowed hard, I nod softly. NamJoon slowly removes his arm off of me.

"Before we end today's interview. Last time you were here, you promised that you would teach me how to twerk if I were to see you on my show" Ellen says causing me to fake a laugh and the audience to scream.

I could already feel the glances of the boys without even looking at them.

I hope she wasn't serious was she?

"You don't recall?" Ellen asks.

"No. Are you sure that was me?" I ask her. Seconds the screen display a three year ago me, standing in between Lauren and Dinah as we most likely got finish performing "Work From Home".

"Oh my gosh" I say filled in embarrassment.

I hear a few of the boys laugh watching me.

Looking back I can't believe where I was standing, were I was in life. I was once apart of a very back then popular girl group and now I am apart of BTS, a very popular boy band. Like what.

"Who would you say is the best twerker in the group?" Ellen asks.

I watch as all of the girls look at me causing me to smile remembering that exact day.

"Normani. Most definitely Normani" Lauren says.

"No. That's not true. We all can twerk" my naive younger self responds.

"She said the best" Dinah reminds me causing me to laugh.

"Maybe next time" I hear myself say as the video pause I turn back to Ellen, knowing this wasn't going to be up for discussion, I'd have to do it eventually.

"Well" Ellen smiles softly, I turn to the audience who were cheering me up. I mentally roll my eyes.

Letting out a sigh, "Fine.. fine. But I'm only doing it once" I say as then the audience cheered.

I stood up pulling down my dress, and handing Joon back his jacket.

"This is going to be good" Hoseok says leaving and clapping his hands.

I realize my shoes would stop me from supporting myself. I bent down causing the boys to look at me in confusion, I quickly took off my shoes and placed them by the side of the couch.

I walked over to Ellen who was now standing.

"So the tip to twerking is just moving your butt" I tell her.

"I don't have one. What if I don't have one?" Ellen asks making both myself, the audience and the boys laugh.

"Okay, then your hips" I tell her.

"Okay" she nods and understand.

"Okay just follow me" I tell her and she nods. I mentally prepare myself.

I then go down placing my hands on my knees, spreading both of my legs to support my balance.

"Like this?" She asks making the audience laugh because she made it seem like this was hardest thing ever.

"Yeah. Okay, now when you move... your hips should go up and down, but all this movement is in her butt. Make sense?" I asked turning to her.

"Can you demonstrate for the audience?" She asked me. Seconds later, "twerk" by City Girls came on.

I literally heard the audience singing along to the song. I couldn't control myself. They asked for it so I gave it to them.

I began to twerk and break my back getting the expected reaction from the audience.

"Oh wow" I hear JungKook say.

The music faded causing me to die of laughter, I'll probably get bashed so much for this, but I really didn't care.

"Wow" Ellen applauded me.

I then decided that I wasn't going this alone, so I walked towards JungKook who looked at me confusedly.

"Come on.. your doing it with me" I tell him. He shook his head as I tugged on his shirt. The other members encouraged him causing him to say.