(zach's pov)

it's been three days. she isn't eating enough and she is in this state of i don't even know. it's like she's there but she's just a hollow version of herself. ever since she doesn't want to really associate herself with anybody but me. even though she acknowledges me she just isn't the same and it's making me very nervous.

i walked up the steps with a grilled cheese and some apple juice hoping she would eat. i opened the door to see her sleeping peacefully. it made me feel a little bit better knowing that at least while she was sleeping she felt better but i knew it wasn't good for her to be sleeping all day everyday.

i figured she was like this because of the baby and the first few weeks and stuff her body getting use to growing someone inside her but i know deep down it's something more. her phone started ringing and i didn't want her to wake up so i quickly shut the ringer off

she shuffled a little bit but thankfully stayed asleep. i checked the time on her phone and saw it was already 12:30pm. slightly under the time was all the instagram notifications. literally millions. she never turned it off for some reason even though she always says she will

but reading some of the comments under her post broke my heart. all the accusations and the mean name calling. trying to tear her away from me and make her feel bad. they were never ending. it was something that needed to stop immediately.

that's when it clicked. maybe it was this that was tearing her apart and breaking her down. hate can really demolish a person. the tole it takes on you and ur body it's genuinely painful.

when me and the boys first started it was always like this for me. i got the most hate out of everyone which as a 16 year old is not something easy to get the minute you and your group gets recognition.

at the begging this took a huge chunk of my self confidence, my passion, and also my energy out of me. i didn't want to associate with people anymore. i figured maybe it's not too late to back out and just disappear from the world. i developed anxiety and anything that happened that was negative in my life was amplified. the death of a loved one, the loss of a friendship, the stress of not completing something in time, even the slight bit of hate that came my way. it was like a trigger. it saw the negative and the trigger went off.

but after awhile you learn for 1 hate comment there is 100 comments filled with love making it all worth it. sure sometimes there was a little bit more hate and it was hard not to recognize but again. it wasn't the people that didn't support you that matter it was the people that did support you.

"zach why do you have my phone" ivory said snapping me out of my thoughts. she looked nervous and wanted to grab the phone out of my hand but i stopped her.

"love is it the hate" i asked her softly. she didn't respond putting her head down low. i lifted her chin up slightly to reveal not only her now pale face but tears brimming in her eyes.

"ivory this...not if this is true" i said pointing at the phone "ivory green you are something special lemme tell you. you make me look at love in a whole new way...made me see what real true genuine love feels like. it's something i don't think i can live without anymore. these people all want you to break and leave me so that they can have a shot but nobody is every gonna have the opportunity to get another shot because it's you. your the one i'm gonna marry one day mark my word and these comments can't bring you down this much. i know you've been off your meds since you found out about the baby. don't think i didn't notice that the number of pills in the bottle isn't going down. i know you tried to hide it and it didn't work but i think we should talk to a doctor see if you can still take them because ivy your mental health is more important that anything" i said causing her tears to slowly slip out of her eyes. i grabbed her face wiping them away

"but your stuck" she simply said causing me to give her a confused look "because i'm pregnant with your kid your stuck with me" she said. it broke my heart knowing that she thinks i'm still here just because of a baby. "ivy i want this kid so bad and i wouldn't want it with anyone else. it's out baby love. and we're gonna raise this kid together as a family just like we always joked about. our dreams are just finally coming true" i said hugging her. she hugged me back tight and just sat there with me. we both needed this moment her more then me but seeing her hurt hurt me

we laid there all day watching movies and getting ivy back to her normal happy self. "Brinley" ivy said i looked at her confused before she started to explain "if it's a girl i always said brinley and if it's a boy-" "finley" i said cutting her off making her smile. "i like those" she said cussing closer to me.

i just cant wait for this bundle of joy to come out to the world.

a.n

this was a little bit not not really a filler. idk what this is but this book is almost done i'm gonna do two time skips just because you'll see hehe. also i hope y'all know i don't check for spelling errors LMFAO

w.c: 986