Later that day after Cam calmed all his excitement down, he explained the whole process. Surprised his mood changed so quickly. From what he showed in the beginning, he was against it or at least worried about the outcome. But, now he was telling me everything there is to know about being a vampire.

Nothing I haven't at least heard about. Speed, strength, mind control.

I was going to admit, I was nervous. I was okay with having to drink his blood, that was expected. But it was the next part that had me shaking, I had to die with the blood in the system.

I know I was coming back to life but, it was still kind of weird. I knew I was going to die, that's all that really bugged me. Would I go to the afterlife for a second? Would I see god? Would it be nothing but black? I had no idea how this was going to happen. I wasn't ready for this.

Once again I went to Harry for his input. He was the human and it was a long time ago but, he would remember that life-changing moment right? I was hoping he did. I didn't want to worry about anyone else with this.

"How did you kill yourself to become a vampire?" I said walking into the study as he looked up. He was a little surprised by the urgency and how blunt the question was but, he smiled at me. That was a good sign right?

"My neck was broken" My eyes went wide as my heart dropped. Broken? My hand instantly went to my neck rubbing it. Could I do that? Could Cam do that? I'm not sure I could do that.

"Sarah broke your neck?" I asked in shock.

"No but, her brother did. He wanted to remind me he wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I hurt her. Sarah couldn't do it" he explained. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Kind of brutal but, understandable.

"I honestly know you'll have the same problem. Cam's not gonna be able to do it and no one would agree to do it" he said and I sighed. Of course no one would agree to kill me. Cameron might just kill them after but, then how could this work? Could I do it?

I thought and thought of things that I could do. Painless and quick. I hated thinking of this, I hated the thought but it was the only thing that can be done. I wanted to be with him so, I have to do this.

"What are you up to?" He asked leaning closer watching me curious. Not sure it would work but, I had to try. It seemed this was the only way it would work.

"I'm gonna make it easier for him" I said quickly getting up and letting my mind go to all the ways I could do this. Painless and quick hopefully.

'Don't tell anyone I was asking about this" I said hurrying out the room. I took a deep breath ready to do this and just get it over with. I was ready to be with my man for the rest of eternity. I guess even if it means dying and coming back to life.

*****

He took a deep breath watching me with worried eyes. I hated it. He touched my hands gently in silence for a bit "You sure you want to do this because if n-" I covered his mouth smiling trying and hoping it would relax him a bit. He was panicking more than me and trust me I was panicking over here. I just needed this to go by easy for him and my sake.

"Relax Cam. I'm a hundred positive I want to do this" I reassured smiling and squeezing his hands. This wasn't easy for me and I'm sure it wasn't easy for him either. I knew he was struggling with that part but I had it covered.

He leaned his head against mine breathing hard. He swallowed hard looking back at me. I could tell he was scared. I touched his cheek smiling and nodded. He bit into his wrist hard and pulling away letting the blood spill.

He pulled me to him with my back against his chest. "Drink" he said against my hair lowly. I was a little hesitant but started to drink and it wasn't very pleasant, but what the hell do you expect from blood?

I drunk as much as I could without throwing up and once he pulled away I took a deep breath feeling my stomach turn a bit. We stayed silent as I put my head down and heard he was breathing hard struggling on finishing it. His grip on my waist was tight

"Cam" I whispered looking up feeling his grip on me tighten. "Yeah" he breathed out. "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back" I said quickly getting out of his hold as fast as he let me. I looked at him as nodded looking like this was a relief to him.

"O-okay" he said quickly. I closed the bathroom door quickly taking a deep breath. He was so busy losing his mind, he wouldn't hear the bottle of pills. I quickly grabbed the bottle of painkillers cutting the water on in silence. I took handfuls and swallowed them with water hoping it would work.

I was shaking a bit nervous but, waiting for it to work. Without warning, I started feeling dizzy and blackness consumed me.