-From your POV-

I was so mad. So so so mad. Words couldn't even describe it. I pulled into the driveway and didn't even bother doing a good job parking. Just threw it into park and got out.

I went into my room and got in the shower. The water was burning hot and it hurt my skin, but I didn't care. It somehow felt better than the burning on my back. I reached my hand around and touched it and felt how tender it was. When I snaked my hand back around, blood was running off my fingers. Guess I got grazed by some crossfire. I finished the rest of the shower and then got out so I could begin looking in the mirror to dress it. I decided I needed some small kitchen towels, so I threw on a t-shirt and sweatpants and made my way to the kitchen. I walked in and didn't say anything, but interrupted the conversation that was going on between Scott and Joker. They both went quiet and their eyes followed me as I ignored them. When I turn my back to get the towels from the drawer, I heard Scott wince at how much the wound was bleeding. I could feel it sticking to the back of my shirt, seeping through. "Y/n, you're bleeding, like a LOT." he tells me. I turn to face them and give him a fake smile.

"Mm. Yes. I can feel it. I'm handling it." I say.

"Need help?" Jokes grumbles out. My smile drops.

"Don't touch me." I say before walking out and heading back to my room.

I stood in the mirror of my bathroom and stitched my lower back closed. I bit my lip at the pain. It wasn't that bad. I've had to stitch myself together before and once I finished this, I would go and have scotch to mellow the stinging out. The back of the shirt was pooling with blood and getting in the way, so I pulled it off and threw it on the floor. I sat there in just a bra and my sweatpants working on stitching it. I was freezing but I didn't care. I was in such a bad mood about everything. The past 24 hours had been a hell of a roller coaster. My night ended last night by what apparently was an attempted drugging, then Joker and I got too close and he rejected me, then I have a night terror of him killing himself causing me to basically beg him to comfort me and he does, THEN pushes me away, I go to Bones' warehouse and hook-up with him, and then the entire blood bath thing happened. And now this. What, the, hell. I could crawl into bed and sleep for 72 hours right now.

I was shivering so hard that it made getting a straight stitch on the graze harder and harder. I noticed blue eyes and pale hands come into view in the mirror. "The hell do you want?" I spit out at him.

"Y/n, let me help you." he pleads in a soft and almost defeated tone.

"I wouldn't have been caught in crossfire if you never set him up." I say as I continue stitching it.

"You don't know that." he says defensively.

"I think I do." I snap back. He lets out a sigh.

"I don't regret it. Everything I do protects you, one way or another." I scoff at him remark.

"Because causing more gunmen to pop in protects me." I mock with a small laugh and a shake of my head.

"So if I wasn't there to protect you, Bones would've drugged you and done who knows what to you, you would've been alone screaming in the night, and Bones would've had me gunned down after fucking up his little scheme. Y/n, trust me, I wish I could stay away." he says softer. Something about his words his tones get to me. I bring my defenses down a little bit as I think about what he's done. I didn't want him dead, obviously why I saved him from Vincenzo, and I would probably kill Bones if I found out he had J killed. I finally move my eyes from the wound in the mirror to his.

"What are we doing, J? We both know what's happening. We lock horns too much to be any good for each other but we just can't seem to learn our lesson." I whine. His eyes soften.

"I've been trying to figure that out. Time and time again I push you away and you pull me back in. You keep... making me so, so soft. So reckless." He says. I scoff.

"So this is my fault?? You not being able to behave yourself and have some self control is my fault??" I begin to get angry again. This time I can see him quickly switch and start getting mad again.

"Self control? Who was it that pulled me into her bed last night and then asked me to stay again earlier this morning all because she couldn't sleep? Who was it that did that?! Because last time I checked, I was trying to leave, and you were the one who begged and pleaded and crossed boundaries." he growled back. I threw my head back and laughed.

"God, I hate you. You ruin so much. You make me feel this way and you don't have the right to." I spit out. I feel my self starting to get angrier and angrier. "Oh my God my life would be so much easier if you weren't in it! I hate that you make me feel this way! I hate that I like you and I hate that I want you! I hate that you make me vulnerable! I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate you!" I was screaming and spewing all of that out while punching him in the chest.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE?? YOU MAKE ME ACT THIS IRRATIONAL. YOU THINK YOU'RE PERFECT MISS SOCIOPATH AND IT FUCKS WITH MY MIND AND YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. THE CONSTANT GAMES, THE IMPULSIVENESS, THE WAY YOU DO STUFF TO EITHER MAKE ME JEALOUS OR HAVE TO COME AND PROTECT YOU?" he yells back grabbing at my wrists. I started squirming in his hands and kicking at his feet, causing both of us to fall to the ground.

"God you're such a moron I hate that I can't stand to not be around you!! So so stupid! " I scream at him as I continue punching his chest will straddling on him. He was clawing at my arms, leaving scratches. It was very clear that he wasn't trying to hurt me, he was trying to control me and get me off of him.

"I hate that you've been the only person in my entire life to fuck me in the head this much and change me! God I wish I left you in pen." he growls out.

"I fucking hate you but I love you at the same time." my hands moved from clawing at his shoulders to being wrapped around his neck and I pulled my face down to his, our lips meeting and picking up where they left off from the night before. His hands quickly found themselves sliding up my back to the nape of my neck and tangled into my hair. The kiss continued to intensify faster than the one last night did. The pace fastened, my nails began to sink into the skin on his shoulders, and his grip in my hair and on my back gradually tightened, holding me close to him.

Was this what happened to built up tension?

Was this what that felt like?

Was this bound to happen?