-From Joker's POV-

It was 9 PM on New Years Day, meaning that doll and I were heading to Maroni's in a bit. We had fit two of the boxes of her clothes in her car and drove back to the mansion so we could both get ready. Luckily, I had another walk-in closet in my bathroom so I managed to clear my stuff out of it and let her start setting up her stuff. Sigh. The sacrifices I make for you, dollface. Earlier that day, Victor had come to the ranch and dropped off one of the backdoor guard's uniforms; he had taken out the taller one and just took his uniform. I mean, dollface and I weren't planning that, but it still works all the same. It fit me decent enough for the job; the pants were a tad long but it didn't matter. The uniform was actually pretty similar to the black ones I kept around; these ones were a light grey instead and had grey helmets. I guess it's how they mark that they work for Maroni without being too obvious.

Under the suit, I had put on one of the go-to purple suits and chains and made sure my hair was perfect before putting on the helmet. I was looking in the mirror of the bathroom when I heard the clicking of heels and then saw doll appear in the mirror, standing next to me. My eyes moved from my hair to her. She looked stunning. Usually she looks breathtaking, but tonight was just absolutely knock-out gorgeous. I smiled as my eyes inspected her. She was wearing a classic-flapper style magenta dress that came down to her mid thigh and the stockings I bought her along with a magenta feather head piece and gloves. She even had a magenta boa to top it off. Every little detail was so extravagant but she wore it so well. "If you stare any longer your eyes might fall out." she says with a smirk as she checks herself out in the mirror.

"Doll, you're something else." I say, still smiling widely. She moves her head from looking in the mirror to looking at me.

"I know." he says as she adjusts her gloves and walks out of the room. I quickly finish my hair and then leave the bathroom. By now it was 9:30 PM, so we got in one of the armored trucks and begin making our way to the club. Y/n was setting up the ear pieces in the passenger's seat while I drove. "Okay, slide this in your ear." she lifted her hand and when I came to a red light, I took it and put it into my right ear. "When I get into the poker room, I'll turn mine on and we'll be able to communicate." she says. I nod and make the last turn into an abandoned lot. We had decided we'd park the truck one block from the club and then just walk to the club, where I would go to the back entrance and "relieve" one of the guards from their duties and she'd get in through the front door.

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-From your POV-

I slid the earpiece and turned it on, playing it off as me tucking some hair behind my ear. I could see the room that I was supposed to go into for the poker game. I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that the game started in 15 minutes. I shuffled into the room, making sure nobody else was watching me. I saw the actual dealer in there, having a drink. "Hey, I'm the new dealer tonight." I told her. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Nobody told me anything about that?" she says.

"I'm telling you right now." I say firmly. She begins to look at the door. "Don't do it, I'm giving you the easy way out." I say in a cautionary tone.

"Secur-" she begins to yell out. I roll my eyes and within one quick lunge and twist, snap her neck. I drag her body into one of the nearby supply closets and close it, taking the deck of cards out of her back pocket.

I began walking back to the table, prepared for setting up when I hear a buzzing voice in the earpiece. "Conflicted already, huh?" J asks. I sigh and begin arranging chairs as I answer back in a low tone.

"I tried to give her the easy way out." I say. I hear a small chuckle from him.

"Some people just refuse to do it the easy way." he says in a low tone back.

About 10 minutes later, half-drunk men in suits began shuffling in. I gave them a smile to greet them and most of them started eyeing me and smiling at what they saw. "The Boss didn't say he hired a looker for dealing tonight!" one of them said. I gave a small fake laugh and continued greeting them. God these men are idiots. I can already tell.

After they all finished sitting down in their seats, I took my spot at the dealer's chair and began dealing out cards as they asked me a billion stupid small-talk questions. They asked where I was from, how old I was, if I had a boyfriend, when I came to Gotham, yaddah yaddah yah. The game was going well, incoherent club music was playing and when I would get bored, I would just pay attention to the music to keep me from boring myself to death.

30 minutes of Poker continued on and by this point, if one more balding man with a cigar in his hand and a comb-over called me 'darling' or 'sweets' I was going to vomit profusely. "Anywhere around here a girl can get a shot?" I ask. All of them started jumping, offering to pay for it and telling me to order whatever I want and whatnot. I just knew J would have something violently possessive to say about all these men fawning over his doll later, but right now I would look crazy if I just started telling him to calm down through the ear piece, seeing as they don't know I have an earpiece in. A waiter came in and poured the shot in front of me and I requested three more to make this more bearable. Five vodka shots in refreshed my patience and ability to smile and nod, so the game continued again. I glanced up at the clock on the wall and realized that there was another 20 or so minutes until the plan was expected to take off.

10 minutes in, the men decided they got tired of poker so I cleaned the cards up and put them back in the box. Shit, Y/n you have to keep their attention for another 20 minutes. Most of them began smoking cigars and having drinks, talking among themselves and occasionally trying to chat me up. I saw some of them clean up their areas, as if they were about to leave. Time to act. I sighed as I stood up and got their attention. "You know what, you have all been so nice to me tonight. Offering me drinks, offering good conversation, being so handsome..." I shmooze.

"Watch yourself." I hear a voice growl through my ear piece. I ignore it and keep my charade going.

"How about I return the favor with some, entertainment, perhaps?" I say. A bunch of them begin looking at each other and then back to me, nodding and sitting back in their seats some. "Great." I clear off in the middle of the table and crawl on top of it, kneeling down and getting all of the attention in the room. By now, I have a very slight buzz going on meaning that this dance shouldn't be that difficult. It's been so long since I had to dance to distract an idiotic man. I tune in really quickly to the song, so I can catch the beat, and hear it's Poker Face. Tuh. Just my luck. Also, what is it with gangsters and Lady Gaga??

I find a good groove in the beat and begin my snapping off my gloves and tossing them to different men, followed by my boa. They gradually grew louder and more excited as they picked up on where this was going. So did J. I could just barely hear him in the ear piece again."Doll...." he growled. I ignored and kept going as the pace of the song was picking up. Lucky for me, I actually quite liked this song, so dancing to it shouldn't seem too unnatural. I started listening to the lyrics out of boredom while I was dancing and giving them the show they wanted. I began sliding off more and more of the extra accessories I had worn just for this tonight and throwing them off, pushing myself to my feet, so I was now standing tall on the table.

I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be. A little gamblin' is fun when you're with me.

It's almost as if this song is just mocking me at this point. "A hard pair we will be." Yeah, okay Gaga don't rub it in. By now I'm down to my dress and I slowly slide it off over my head, revealing the sheer teddy burlesque garments I had put on underneath. The men start cheering and I can just barely hear J grumbling out a string of curse words and threats against the men in the ear piece.

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun, and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.

Tuh. Tell me about it.

By now, I could hear some shouting and struggling coming from the ear piece, so I decided now was the time. I crawled down to the head of the table, to who I assumed was the one with the most power, and sat at the edge of it and propped my legs off the edge of the table, letting them dangle. By now, almost all of them were silent and watching in anticipation of what I was going to do next.

I'll get him hard, show him what I've got.

I took that line as an opportunity to lower my hands down to the inside of his coat where I could see a pistol outline and grab it. He was obviously amused and amazed so he just let me. I took the gun and cocked it and licked the barrel of it (God men are so stupid) and did a couple dance moves or whatever, still paying close attention to what was happening on the other end of the ear piece.

I hear a couple gunshots erupt on J's end and I take the melody as an opportunity to strike. Just like a chick in the casino, I'll take your bank before I pay you out, I promise this promise this, check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous.

I quickly snap my body around the table in a swift clockwise motion, shooting each member around it straight in the chest or between the eyes. It all happened so fast and caught them so off guard that none of them had time to respond. The ones all the way at the end of the circular table had started drawing their weapons but I was too fast; I ran out of bullet so I used the but of the gun and my elbows to knock them both out. I turned back to the man at the head of the table who's gun I took. By now, I had propped both of my feet up on the armrests of his chair, meaning my legs were slightly open on the table in front of him. At first he looked scared that I was going to hurt him, but then when he realized I hadn't swung yet, he smiled. "Beautiful, smart, and dangerous? The package deal." he chuckles. He leans forward in his chair some and looks me up and down, his eyes stopping and squinting at my waist. "Property of J? Who's that?" he says as he reads the embroidery on my underwear. Who said chivalry was dead?

"Me." the man's head jerks to the side as the butt of an assault rifle knocks him out. I smile at the sight of a tall armed guard come in and mosey over to me, gently tugging off his helmet. My smile grows wider as our eyes lock and he leans down, lowering his head to mine. I set the pistol down and grab his face with my hands, kissing him deeply. He hears the guy who's gun I stole groan so he pulls away and shoots him. "I'd love to continue this with how good you look, doll. But uh.... I've got Batsy waiting just outside the door." he says. I give him a quick nod and he leaves to go make sure that the Bat is secured as I quickly tiptoe around and gather my clothes, sliding my dress back on over my head and shaking my head in pity at those poor suckers. God, such idiots.

I stepped out of the backdoor and the cold air hit my skin right away. I slid the gloves back on and wrapped the boa lazily around my shoulders. I walked over to where J had Batman cornered against the ground at gun point. He smiled as he watched me walk out. "I'm sure you've met the misses." J hums out cockily.

"What are you getting at, Joker?" Batman grumbles out.

"Oh Batsy, you should know by now. I'm not exactly a man with a plan." Joker chuckles out.

"So you killed half of Maroni's men just to get to me and had no plan?" Batman criticizes. Joker gives an exaggerated scoff and rolls his eyes.

"I'm like a dog chasing a car, if I caught one, I just wouldn't know what to do with myself! I mean, tonight's plan was brought to by the lovely Miss Magenta! But me? I just didn't want them to kill my dear Dark Knight." J finishes explaining with a wide smile.

"In a way, we just saved your ass." I chime in. J smiles at me and hums in excitement.

"Am I supposed to thank you, cold hearted crooks?" the Bat says.

"I mean, it would suffice." J says in his smug tone.

"You know what, who's to say we should kidnap him and end the fun? You like a good cat and mouse game, don't you J? I say we leave him, he gives us a 10 second head start and we continue on, meeting like this." I say with a snicker. J joins in and starts laughing too before looking back to Batman. He squats down, sliding his gun to his side so he's face to face with Batman.

"I like her idea. Well, I'm glad you got to meet my squeeze." J giggles out, lightly patting Batman on the cheek. Batman takes the opportunity and uses Joker's hand to flip him over and brings himself to his feet. I sigh.

"In my good heels?" I say as I quickly walk up and deliver a quick and sharp kick to his chest, causing him to fall back on the ground. J gets up to his feet and grabs his gun again and I keep my foot pinned against Batman's chest. "You know, we have got to stop meeting like this! I'm a faithful woman!" I say with a laugh. J reaches his hand out to me and I take it and we start making our down the block in a swift run back to the van. We were both laughing, J carrying a rifle in his free hand and my heels in mine, as we were running I shouted over my shoulder: "Condolences for Robin by the way!!" as J opens the passenger side door to the truck and I jump in. He gets in the driver's seat and starts the truck and drives off, speeding and knocking over various signs, traffic cones, and other structures that stood in the way of Joker's destructive path. We drove off laughing, still holding hands as we raced back to the mansion.