The summer was slow. I tried to keep myself busy by writing, writing anything I thought about. Good and bad. How my day went, my childhood, love stories, how I want my future to be, the weather, even describing the noises I heard throughout the day. It helped, sometimes when I could feel myself becoming over whelmed I started writing and then my head was elsewhere. In an imaginary world, where anything was possible and love and happiness consumed me.

I missed seeing students roaming the halls, laughing, joking, running because they were late or hiding because they hated the class. The odd teacher floated about but it wasn't the same. I even missed seeing Pansy, she had become comforting to me even when we didn't really talk, just sitting with her knowing she was there. I missed seeing Harry's face light up when he saw me, his laugh and our talks and even though every tiny piece of my body hated and loathed him for the way he was with me, his words, his everything...I missed him. I wondered if he ever thought about me like I thought about him, if the image of my face is the first thing he sees when closes his eyes and if he tries really hard if he can still feel my touch on his skin.

Everyone would begin arriving soon, my reality would be back soon but this year was going to be different even if I achieved nothing else I wasn't going to be alone at the end of it. I was going to try hard. I was going to make friends and feel close, I was going to share my time with people I love and I was going to laugh till my stomach ached. My family wouldn't want me here crying myself to sleep or isolating myself from the world they'd want me to be happy. Most of all I was going to forget Draco, I was going to move forward from whatever hold he had over me. I was going to let him go.

I gave our room a quick clean, prepped our beds and dusted the sides down. Everything would be lovely for when Pansy arrived.

The door creaked open and Pansy walked in dragging her trunk behind with her.

"Hey! How are you? Let me help you!" I rushed over to grab the other side of the trunk.

"Oh..er thanks, I'm good! Did you take a happy pill over summer? Or some other pills?" She laughed at her joke.

"Hahaha no! I just...I just got some time to take a break and I feel...a lot better!"

"Well good I'm glad! You look a lot better! A smile suits you" she smiled back at me.

It felt so good to make this progress with Pansy, she was kind even through her hard exterior. I wondered if there was a reason she was the way she was, why she was so reserved.

"How was the train?"

"Yeah long and boring as usual! Oh Draco mentioned that he needed to speak to you?"

My heart suddenly felt like it was going to rip through my chest. "Er Draco? Did he say what about?"

"He didn't say just that he needed to speak to you" she gave a faint smile before opening her trunk.

"Oh well I best go find him just incase it's important" I quickly started heading for the door.

"ok" she smiled at me and began unpacking.

I gracefully walked my way through the corridors and into the common room. Students were everywhere. Some sprawled on the sofas, other gossiping in the reading nook, trunks flooded the stairs, I could barely hear through all the voices. I scanned around but I couldn't find him, everywhere I looked he was nowhere. My gut told me to go to his room. I definitely wasn't allowed but there was that many people swarming I figured I would slip away without being noticed.

I quickly checked the board to find his room and then I was on my way. Even though the boy was never off my mind this time, I wasn't worried going to see him that when I looked into his eyes I would melt. This time I knew this year had to be different I had to be strong. He would never care for me the way I needed. Or dare I say it love me how I need to be loved.

My eyes flickered over each number until finally I was at his door. I gave a quick scan to check no one had noticed me and they hadn't they were all running riot. I knew this was the closure I needed.

I gave a knock at the door and with confidence that drove through I didn't even wait for an acknowledgment I simply opened the door.

Draco spun around, once his eyes were on me his eyes went wide with shock.

"Ivy-erm what are you going here?"

"Pansy said you wanted to speak to me" I watched his eyebrows furrow with confusion.

"I never spoke to Pansy" now my eyebrows replicated his. Why would Pansy send me here to talk to him if she never even spoke to him.

"Oh..erm she must of got confused" I began to turn around closing the door behind when I was hit with a sudden sadness.

"Wait Ivy before you go, can I speak to you" I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath.

"Yes what is it?" I leaned onto the door mainly for support but to give the illusion I was not beginning to panic.

"Come in and shut the door"

"Draco..I" I let out a sigh

"Please Ivy" his face was different to what I'd seen before it almost looked upset.

I took another breath and made my way into his room. I closed the door gently behind me so I wouldn't draw attention because if I got caught here I'd had it. I looked over to Draco and waited for him to speak.

"First of all I'm not going to apologise for what happened on the astronomy tower" I rolled my eyes

"Urgh then why am I here Draco?"

"If you let me finish I would be able to tell you, god honestly you are so frustrating. You drive me insane! I've never been around someone that makes me so angry like you do just even looking at you sends me mad!" His words took me back, who was he to talk to me like this! But just before I was about to fire back he butted in first.

"Which is why...it makes it even more frustrating that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you Ivy. I tried. Really really hard but I can't get you off my mind."