Clutching onto the porcelain sink, I force oxygen in through my nose to steady my heartbeat.

God Atlas you're so stupid! Why didn't you watch where you were going?

I look up into the mirror to see my face drained of colour.

Get a grip!

The empty bathroom echos the creaking of the door as it swings open and a girl steps in. I immediately snap up, pretending not to be in the middle of an internal freak-out. The girl hovers in the doorway, looking over at me, then steps forward slightly.

"Hey- uh, you okay?" She asks, her short, wavy hair is pined back with clips, showing the array of purple and green fragments of hair underneath the dark black. She's stood on a pair of Doc Martens, tucking in a pair of checkboard black and white trousers. Chains hang from the belts loops which match her choice of jewellery- chunky and chainy. Her top portrays the name of an old band, worn and acid washed.

"Yeah, great...thanks," I mumble not meeting her eyes.

"I saw what happened out there." She steps closer, subconsciously I step back.

"Oh uh, I uh...yeah sorry I shouldn't have walked into him, it was my fault." I flit my eyes around the room looking for some kind of exit, the airy bathroom now very claustrophobic. She lets out a small laugh and gets closer to me.

"Why are you sorry? They seem like asses, who the fuck sits there and laughs at someone who's just fallen over... unless it's in a funny circumstance like slipping on a banana," She waffles on thoughtfully but stops abruptly when she remembers what she's in here for "I just saw you run off so I wanted to check you were okay?"

Oh.

I finally look up to find the girl smiling at me, her thick black eyeliner making her hazel green eyes very doe-like. Not that I pay much attention to people but I don't think I've ever seen her around here before.

"I'm Vixxie-Joy, or Vixxie or VJ. Whatever floats your boat." She shrugs, leaning back against one of the sinks, her mesh clad arms crossed over her shirt.

She gives off that 'I don't care but I'll whoop your ass' vibe and I am living for her choice of clothing, She looks so cool.

I should say Hi back, right? She seems nice?

"I'm... I'm Atlas." A small smile graces my face.

"It's nice to meet you Atlas" She pushes off the sink and grabs her rucksack, swinging it onto her shoulder, "I hope your ass isn't too sore." She giggles going to leave but stops herself, biting on her lip, eye scrunched.

"Actually I don't suppose you'd want to show a newbie about... we've missed homeroom but I have..." She pulls out a piece of paper, "Health and wellbeing? If you could just point me to it?"

She hovers from one leg to the other awkwardly, I study her body language, she looks almost desperate. I understand, moving to a new school is frightening. Especially when the first thing you see is a scared blonde girl being knocked down and embarrassed by the gods of high school, she seems nice anyway- it wouldn't be a bad thing if I actually tried to speak to someone

"Okay, I uh, I have health too." I snatch my bag from the floor, leading Vixxie out into the hallway. We walk a little of the way in silence, the noise of her chain filling the deserted space. I can feel her looking at me, her mind deep in thought.

'You don't say much do you?" Vixxie giggles, shoving her hands in her pockets. The question catches me off guard and leaves me puzzled on what to say back.

"I just don't have a lot to say I guess." That or I've got the social skills of a fish, "I uh, I love your hair."

"Thanks, so far I've been looked at me like I'm some spawn of satan." I chuckle at her comment.

"Well unfortunately if you're not a jock or a child of the rich, you practically are satan himself," I add.

"Ah, of course, high school patriarchy, how could one forget?" She mocks sarcastically making me giggle slightly, "Where do you fit in?"

"I don't." I smile, leading her into the partially full health classroom. The walls are lined with 'safe sex' posters and advice posters on typical 'teenage issues'. A few people have already nabbed the back row of seats so we settle for the second to last row. Vixxie flops down into the desk next to mine, throwing her bag onto the floor.

"I like you, you seem... normal, down to earth." She sighs, getting a selection of stationery out from her pocket. Taking the sharpest pencil from her pack she starts to doodle on the desk.

"Oh, thanks... I guess... I like you too," I think? She seems really nice, very energetic but that makes me laugh. I think I've spent so long alone I've forgotten what people are actually like.

We fall into conversation about her move, she'd moved from Los Angeles because her dad got a job down here in Georgia. It turns out we have quite a few classes together, which she seems excited about given her widening eyes and large smile when I read out my schedule. Maybe it'll be nice to have someone to talk to in the more boring of classes and from Vixxies personality it seems she likes idle small talk rather than awkward silences.

Students keep filing in, the later they come in the more disappointment is shown on their face when they see most of the back rows have been filled, one girl hovers at the front of the class scanning the rows with a winced expression on her face. Her eyes stop on me and Vixxie with a slight grin, then she hurtles down the isles towards us.

"Hey, Atlas! Do you mind if I sit with you and..." She smiles politely at Vixxie.

"Vixxie." She answers.

"Do you mind if I sit with you and Vixxie? I literally don't know anyone in this class..." I nod and she slides into the seat bedside Vixxie.

Carrie is the head of the cheer team but she's not the usual bitchy head cheerleader. She's one of the kindest people I know, she always waves or says hi to me in the corridors and if we've had classes together shes always included me into her group conversations if we do partner work.

I've known her since I started here, we usually have quite a few classes together.

"Sorry, I don't mean to impose! I'm a bit of a loner this year since the twins moved to Texas. Some best friends they are hey!" She jokes but there's a sad tinge between her laughs.

Carrie and who everyone calls the 'twins' used to be the 'it' friend group, everyone wanted to know them or be a part of the group. However like the cheerleader thing, they weren't the cliché friend group, they were tightknit and really pleasant to be around.

Apparently, their dad was having an affair with a woman in Texas and over summer he got divorced moving with the girls up to his mistress- poor Carrie.

"You're not don't worry." I smile back, admiring her choice of outfit today, I've always envied her style. She can make anything work, today she's sporting the fluffiest pink jacket.

I watch as Vixxie and Carrie start talking but I zone out when I realise who just entered the room. The other students in the room fizzle out and gape slightly at who they get to spend the next year in this class with. I on the other hand-

Oh crap! Oh crap!

Immediacy put my head on the desk and pull my hood up, trying to shield myself from further embarrassment. The wood feels cool on my flaming cheeks, the embarrassment just burning right off them. I listen as the chairs in front of us scrape back and internally curse... scrunching my eyes even tighter.

I cannot spend the whole year with the jock squad sat in front of me.

"Hey, Atlas? Are you okay?" Carrie whispers across our desks. Vixxie looks at me with a troubled expression then catches sight of the guys in front of me.

"Oh Atlas," she chuckles, "Don't worry about those jockstraps. You'll get neck ache if you lie with your head like that for too long." I grudgingly lift my head but sink back into the chair.

One of them notices me and shoves the other, like Chinese whispers its soon common knowledge that the stupid girl who walked into them this morning is sat behind them. I can feel them looking at me, they keep turning and whispering. The little laughs and pointing fingers. My hands start to shake again.

"Look it's little mousey." The biggest one I directly walked into turns around and smirks my way, the others making little squeaking noises. All except a few of them. One of them the guy who helped me up earlier. His eyes never stray from the pen he's clicking in his hand. His jackets slung over the chair, giving me a better view of his heavily tattooed arms. The intricate ink trails all the way across his toned biceps and along to his shoulders. I love tattoos, I always have- I feel they tell a story better than a book ever could.

"Back off boys, she's all mine. Had her falling at my feet this morning." The ignorant one bellows. I can feel the other classmates turning their attention to us. The thing is with these boys, they don't have to know you or who you are. They just have to know how well you fold under the teasing.

"What the fuck is your problem Connor?" Carrie leans on her desk. I glance over to see her brunette curls swinging down her face, her blush lipstick distorted into a disgusted shape.

"Calm down Carrie, Jesus it's just a bit of fun." He scoffs.

"Well it's not funny is it Bozo?" Vixxie adds.

What are they doing? You don't pick a fight with these kinds of people on the first day. Oh god, I'm going to get them into so much trouble. Carrie's already got the respect of these people, she's just going to break it!

"It's fine, Vixxie really!" I try and stop her but she's already out of her seat, knuckles balled on her desk.

"Ooo would you look at that, I didn't know Wednesday Adam's is enrolled here," I can see her teeth clenched in her mouth. She's ready to pounce. Like a cheetah, waiting for the right moment to dissect her pray.

"Connor shut the fuck up." One of the boys gets up from their circle of moved chairs. His honey hair falls over his face, it's too long to be short but too short to long... it's that awkwardly cute length. He towers over Connor with a questioning gaze and when Connor slumps down in his chair, you'd think this guy had killed his puppy. His face is an ugly shade of anger.

This tall chiselled face guy then taps a few of the guy's shoulders and gestures to the area of seats on my right which have yet to been claimed.

Oh please don't sit here! Please don't-

Too late, the guys move past us into the seats. The tattooed-pen clicker passes my desk, his ocean eyes trained on me as he chews on the gum in his mouth. The intense gaze and minty scent sends a weird feeling ripping through my stomach. That boy takes intimidating to a whole other level.

"I'm Brady. I love your hair, are you a natural blonde or is it dye?" The golden-haired, Brady, bounces into the desk next to mine like Tigger.

"Natural," I mutter, trying not to look at the giant beside me.

"You're adorable... in a shy, nerdy way. We've had a few classes before? You always wear the best hoodies! Uh-" He gushes energetically, his eyes try and look for my book to find a name.

"Oh thanks...it's Atlas." Is this a wind-up? I remember Brady from my science class... energetic and excitable but I never thought he'd remember me. I just sit at the back doodling on the handouts.

"I apologise for Connor he's such a fucking asswipe." He mellows down slightly but his grin is still as big as the sun.

"It's alright." I start scratching at the desk, wishing for this conversation to be over.

"Friends?" Brady swivels in his chair.

"Huh?"

"Friends? You seem cute." Without waiting for my answer he turns to the guys behind him, "This is Ethan, Rutherford and Blaze.

The guys look up and smile at their names. Except who I presume to be Blaze, he just scowls around the classroom making no effort in acknowledging anyone.

"We're not all as bad as him and his minions." He gestures to Connor, stewing in his chair surrounded by the rest of the football team. "Hey! Your names a world map!" He snickers feeling proud of himself. I can't help but giggle back at his care-free nature.

Eventually, the teacher jogs in, clad in track pants and a schools phys ed Tshirt. He sets down a pile of books and starts jumping on the spot. Gym teachers are always way too energetic for my liking, especially when they're teaching non-vocational subjects but health and wellbeing is one of those classes that never really has a properly qualified teacher, they just shove random teachers in to read off pre-made powerpoints.

"Right guys. Welcome to Health and Wellbeing. This is a required class so if you do not attend you will fail, meaning you won't graduate!" He points down at the football team, they're leaned back on their chairs, feet on the desk snickering. They're the most likely to skip but it's not like anyone wants to be here. "We will be covering an array of topics this year including a joint project that will go towards your final grade! So no slacking. Today we're focusing on relationships- being at that age in your life where you may find yourself in... compromising situations." The class lets out a round of snickers and 'oos'.

The teacher pulls up the PowerPoint

Violence within relationships.

Just the title makes my stomach turn. I get so uncomfortable learning about all this shit, it makes me nervous and clammy.

As the PowerPoint goes on, the teacher very uninterestedly delves into the different aspects of domestic abuse.

I can feel my hands getting sweaty and shakey but a chill has my body shivering. My stomach swirls and tears brim at my eye-line. I can't listen to anymore, it's all too much.

I love coming to school so I can escape from everything at home but this just makes me paranoid that people know... they can see the bruises and hear all the shouting.

I abruptly stand up in the middle of the class, my chair making the horrific scraping noise which draws more attention than needed.

The teacher pauses his speech about 'getting help' to question my actions.

"I... I need, I need to go to the bathroom." I grab my stuff from under my desk and sprint out of the classroom. I keep my head down only briefly catching Blaze's eyes as I grab my things, fumbling about. They've lessened in scowled and doubled mystery.

I don't stop until I reach the courtyard around the back of the cafeteria that links onto the fields. I slump into one of the old trees and bring my legs up to my chin, shielding myself off from the world.

What a shitty first day. So much for keeping my head down. All I've done is draw attention to myself, and I chose to wear a lazy outfit today. Typical.

It's hard enough trying to contain the nightmare at home but when it's at school it makes me feel so enclosed. I can't breathe and I start to imagine things. Things that make me all panicky and scared.

The bell rings a little while later and I know the courtyard is about to be full of pupils, ruining my tranquil peace. Leaning back against the tree I close my eyes and try and use the last couple minutes of nature's quiet to compose myself.

🖤