It's been a few weeks since the perfect Christmas we shared as a family. And since I kissed Ella, ever since then she has ignored every conversation about it.

Each time I've tried to approach the subject, she just makes up an excuse not to speak about it, so I've finally left it be for now. Because I don't think she's ready to talk about it, or what it means for us going forward.

I mean Ella has acted like the kiss didn't even happen, these last few weeks nothing has changed, I still get to see Remi, Ella invites me over for movie night and we do talk about day-to-day stuff, just not about the kiss.

She's acting normal and I'm trying to, but it's hard because all I can think about is our kiss, the way her lips taste, the way she smelled. I can't forget that, and I can't forget my feelings for her, I know she probably wants me to, but I just can't.

I know that I hurt Ella five and half years ago, I've been living with that regret for years.

But I'm in love with her and I want a second chance to prove to her, that I'm a better man now and I will never leave her again.

Which I have been trying to show her, I will admit it since our kiss I have been sending her flowers and chocolates, trying to be romantic and all, hoping that she might want to talk about us or if there could be an us again.

Honestly, I'm hoping that she might take me back, even after the way I mistreated her in the past. Something that I would never do again, because living without her I became the worst version of myself, and I know I can be better, cause she makes me better, always has.

Snapping out of my thoughts as I hear my front door open, Remi darts her eyes towards the footsteps. Ella had to work today, so she asked me if I could watch Remi and I was more than happy too.

"Uncle Ollie" I hear my daughter's voice shout excitedly before she jumps off the sofa next to me and runs towards who I'm assuming is my bother.

"There's my favorite niece" Oliver replies while placing her back on her feet.

"She's your only niece.....Dummy" I shot out to my brother, who turns his eyes to me with a smirk on his face, like he wants to make a joke but knows better because there is a child in the room with us.

"So, what's going on with you and Ella? You've been weirder since Christmas?" He asks me, as Remi goes back to playing with her toys in the toy area, I set up for her.

Shaking my head and shrugged my shoulders, before letting out a sigh.

"Nothing is going on, we're fine.... we're good even...." I trailed off because I don't really want to talk about this with him, I would rather talk to Ella about it.

"I know what's going on" We both hear Remi say, just as we both turned to look at my daughter, with a look of curiosity.

"Really, do you want to tell uncle ollie then?" Oliver says to her with a giggle. Remi looks at me before looking over to Oliver,

I'm not worried I mean she's a kid, and she was asleep when Ella and I kissed that night, she has no idea what is going on with her parents....right?

"Ollie she's a kid, she's not going to understand..." I began to object just as Remi cuts me off and grins.

"Mommy and daddy kissed..." Remi announces,

letting my eyes fly to Remi with a shocked look on my face, just as I hear Oliver let out a small laugh and Remi goes back to her toys like she said nothing at all. How did she even know that?

"Oh, I'm guessing by the look on your face, Remi is right-;" Oliver laughed, throwing my eyes to my brother annoyed,

"You and Ella kissed? When?" He adds. Shaking my head and sighed,

"Christmas night, it was just one kiss, it was nothing" I answered because it's the truth, we kissed once and I don't think it really meant anything to Ella, but it meant everything to me, now though I think I've just messed everything up like I always do.

"With you and Ella, it's never just anything. Are you guys giving it another go?"

"No, I mean she won't even talk about the kiss and maybe that's for the best you know" I replied, Oliver looks at me and shakes his head in defeat.

"It's not though, you and she are soulmates. but both of you are too stubborn to admit that. You and she are meant to be together, so man-up and get your girl back" He said in a big brotherly tone.

"Are you crazy? Ella doesn't have feelings for me, Ollie, so please stop with all this meant to be stuff, we're Remi's parents that's it" I argued with him.

I would fight to my last breath for Ella, if I know I had a chance and if I know she felt anything for me at all, but I don't think she does. I don't want to put her in a position where she feels weird around me, because she knows how I feel about her.

"Do you love her?" He asks me, throwing my stare back to his getting even more annoyed now, opening my mouth ready to respond just as Remi comes over to me, her big green eyes staring solely at me.

"Daddy do you love mommy?" She said to me in a small sweet voice, pulling her up onto the sofa with me and looked at my daughter.

"I do love your mommy very much" I answered without looking at my brother, Remi breaks out into a smile and jumps back down once again.

"Then you should tell mommy" She replied before running back off,

shaking my head, and then relooked at my brother.

"Your daughter is right, tell Ella how you feel and maybe this could be your second chance Scott, don't run from it again," Oliver said to me with a serious tone in his voice.

Getting lost in my own thoughts, maybe Oliver is right maybe I should tell Ella how I feel. I mean we lost five and half years because I ran away because didn't fight for her, this time I have to try too, because I love Ella and I want a second chance, I just don't think I deserve one.

It's been almost a month since Christmas, New year has been and gone and it's almost February which means it's almost Remi's fifth birthday. Things have been weird these last few weeks, and it's my fault because I've been avoiding talking about the kiss with Scott, he's tried to bring it up, but I shut it down.

Mostly because I don't even know what it meant, I don't know my own feelings, and I sure as hell don't know his feelings either, plus we have so much history there.

It's just all really confusing, and I don't want to deal with it, but I know that I have to eventually because I think he might want to get back together, or at least that's what the flowers and chocolates tell me, I'm not sure if we should though.

"Is now a bad time?" I heard a voice say, snapping out of my thoughts, looking up to my office door, to see Amanda standing there with a smile.

"No of course not, come in" I reply, she nods her head and then takes a seat.

"So, Oliver and I have finally set a date for the wedding. July twentieth and I was wondering if we could go over a few ideas?" She says to me with true happiness, she and Oliver are so in love it's amazing to see them so happy, I'm glad for them, I really am.

"Sure, we can.... just give me a moment..." I mumbled off trying to regain my thoughts, it's time to forget about Scott our kiss and just do my job something that I am good at. Scott, my feelings, and everything else connected to him can wait.

"Okay, what is going on with you?" I hear Amanda ask me, snapping my eyes to hers and shook my head.

"Nothing my head is elsewhere today.... but I'm fine, let's talk about your wedding" I answered, now it was Amanda's turn to shake her head.

"No, first you're going to talk about what's bothering you, then we're going to fix that, and only then we will talk about my upcoming wedding" She argues,

"It's nothing Amanda, honestly" I sighed, if I talk about the kiss it means I'm going to have to admit that it was amazing and that I felt sparks when Scott's lips touch mine again. I don't want to admit that just yet, I can't go down that road yet, not when I'm unsure what it is, I'm feeling.

"Come on Ella, I'm your friend" She replied, giving up sighing.

"Christmas night, Scott kissed me....and I kissed him back" I admitted to her,

"Then what happened?" She quizzed with a curious look in her eyes, as she studied me as I began explaining,

"Nothing I pulled away, then asked him to leave" Amanda was silent for a minute, and then she tilted her head to the side, before letting out a sad sigh.

"You know Scott still loves you right?" She spilled to me, letting my own eyes blaze towards her, with surprise that she might even know that kind of information.

"And how do you know that?" I challenged, she shakes her and smiles a little.

"Because I've seen you two around one another, the bright smiles, the little odd laughs between you, the way you both love Remi. And on top of all that, he stares at you like you're the only woman in the world to him-;" She stops talking, looks at me with a knowing look.

Moving my eyes away from her and shook my head, because I don't know how to respond to that.

When I was with Scott, I let him see every part of me, the good, the bad, the worst, I showed him everything, I opened my heart to him because I loved him so much. And then when he left me, I built this armor around myself and my heart, now I'm not sure if I can lay down that armor for him again.

"I don't know Amanda; I don't know what I feel for him. Or whatever I do feel for him, is real you know... it's scary because of our past" I replied,

"Maybe now is the time to sort it all out, and just forget about the past"

"That's easier said than done" I mumbled; she raises an eyebrow at me.

"I know it is, but you guys are older now. And you've both grown so much, Scott is a better man now, that's because you and Remi make him a better man"

"I just don't know, love changes Amanda overtime and maybe ours has," I said,

"Yeah.... true it does but love also finds its way back sometimes" She replies and looks at me with a serious look in her eyes.

Taking a breath and sighed, there's one thing I do know for sure is that I have to talk to Scott about that kiss, and I have to do it soon.

~ ~ ~

Walking into my house closing the door behind me and placed my keys on the side table, just as my eyes landed on Scott sitting on my sofa. It's late Remi's probably in bed, I gave Scott a spare key a few weeks ago, just in case I ever had to work late, and he had to get Remi home.

"Hey," He says to me as he sees me, putting my bag on the side and took my coat off, before walking over to where he was, taking a seat on the chair facing him.

"Hey" I echoed his words back at him, as the room goes silent around us.

"I think we should have that talk now" I announced, Scott's eyes flicked towards me. Hope, fear, and surprise all mixed together in his blue eyes.

"I think we should" He replies, shaking my head and undid my ponytail, and shook out my hair, hoping that maybe Scott will start the conversation first, but he doesn't.

"About that kiss, I'm sorry that I freaked out about it, then avoided it" I apologized. Felling his stare on me as I spoke.

"It's okay, I want to tell you that I'm sorry, but I just can't.... because I'm not sorry that I kissed you Ella-;" He cut off and then looked at me in the eyes, before continuing,

"I've wanted to kiss you for weeks, and I still want to kiss you"

Letting my eyes just stay on his, taking in every part of his face. There's no lying about it, there's something here I'm not dumb I know that.

And I would love to embrace that spark, I just can't help but think about the past and I know that I should just let it go, because things are different now, he's here, he's sorry and he's fighting for a second chance, but what if I can't forgive the past.

"Scott-;" I began to say but he cuts me off and walks over to me, before dropping to my level and gently took hold of my hands.

"Ella, I know that I hurt in the past and I've lived with that regret for years, I thought I would never see you again. Then I did and we became a family with Remi-;" He broke off and took a breath, but his gaze never leaves me.

"My feelings for you never changed.... even though you have no reason to believe me, it's the truth and I want to see if this could be more for us-;"

Opening my mouth to argue against what he is saying,

"I don't know, what we have its complicated...maybe-;" Scott cuts me off,

"Let me take you out on a date, let's explore this and if it's real this could be a second chance for us, I'm never ever going to let anyone manipulate me into leaving you again,-;" I looked at him, I could feel my warmth in my heart as I listen to his words.

But does he really mean what he is saying? Actions speak louder than words, I want to believe him, maybe I want to spend an evening with him reconnecting but I'm afraid too because what if I fall for him once again, what if he hurts me again.

"Scott...I just don't think it's a good idea for us-;" I opposed, shaking my head.

For a split second, everything is quiet around us, our gazes just simply locked on one another, our faces inches apart.

"How about this, I have a game tomorrow...why don't we start there. You could come, watch the game and after if you want we could go out for dinner.....One evening...one date is all I'm asking for Ella. To prove to you that, we belong together"

Taking a deep breath and sighed, because my head is telling me to flee and just co-parent with him. But my heart is telling me that, he has changed and he never did anything to hurt me, other than breaking my heart, he never cheated on me, he never treated me like I was worth less than him, he just made a choice that didn't involve me, but it was years ago and we were just kids.

And maybe now that we are older and wiser, it could be something more again. Or we could end up being nothing but two people who share a child, either way, I owe it to myself, to my daughter, and maybe even to him to see if it could be more.

Breaking out of my own thoughts and looked into Scott's eyes.

"No game.... that would feel too much like old times-;" I announced, just as his eyes fall in sadness, squeezing his hand that was still holding onto mine while keeping my eyes lingering on his.

"But one date after, to see what this is" I added, watching his face light up, as my words echo through the room.