《Notes in My Locker》XXXVII. Feel My Pain
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You've put me through hell, now I'm giving you sneak peek to where you're going in the after life.
~ Natalie James's POV ~
I woke up in the afternoon, the aching in my body stopped and the pain in my head went away.
I went downstairs and ate breakfast, it felt weird, I felt weird.
I felt nauseous like what I just ate was about to come up, I ran from the table and went upstairs.
I ran to the bathroom and bent over the toilet, I threw up all of my breakfast.
Tears stung my eyes, I was never like this, I didn't want to be like this.
This was the reason why I had ran away from the friendship with Veronica, she made me like this.
I dug my own grave, I was exhausted with everything.
My lip quivered as I trembled, I got up from the toilet and brushed my teeth.
My heart raced, I looked in the mirror and saw how puffy and red my eyes were.
I looked down and saw bruises on my legs, I lifted my shirt up and saw as bruises formed above my ribs and on my abdominal.
My body was never ruined like this, I looked perfect in my eyes and in my mom's.
Soon my eyes went red with anger, I was angry now.
I was better until Veronica came, I was good until Coco came.
I was amazing until Javon came.
None of this would have happened to me if I were to crumple up the note and had rejected his offer on helping me.
All of this pain, this depression, all of it would have been avoided if I had just stood in bed.
But still, I couldn't hate either one of them.
I didn't dare curse them out or say anything harmful towards them.
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I busied myself with cleaning the house and eating, I ate until I couldn't anymore and then threw up.
I tried fixing myself but it didn't work, I was angry with Veronica.
She was changing me, I was starting to look like her.
I was starting to lose myself and I had no idea yet, I was so angry with everything that I didn't hear the door slam shut.
I looked at the door way with anger painted on my face, Veronica stood there with a smile.
A smile that I wanted, no, needed to wipe off.
I went up to her and back handed her, the slap was loud enough since it echoed.
Veronica held her lip as blood soon pooled.
She shoved me to the ground, I was sick and tired of being shoved everywhere whenever I'm near her.
I got up and shoved her back, as she stumbled back, I didn't stop myself from harming her.
She fell backwards and fell onto the table, breaking it.
I grabbed her hair, dragging her outside.
No matter where we fight, I didn't want to ruin anything.
I don't live here so I wouldn't want to pay for damage that I didn't cause or didn't intentionally cause.
I let go of her hair and got on top of her, I was slapping her silly.
She grabbed my wrists and shoved me off of her, she got on top of me and punched me.
I had a split lip and a cut cheek, I was so angry and with the adrenaline, I didn't feel anything.
I pushed her off of me, we were both standing as I threw punches.
Boxing came in handy, I blocked half of the punches she threw.
She had pushed me so hard, I fell back and hit my head on the dirt.
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She laughed and taunted in my face as she walked close up to me, she slapped me one last time before turning around to walk off.
I couldn't allow that, I stood up and ran as fast as I could.
I jumped onto her back, putting her in a chokehold.
I wanted to kill her, in fact, I felt like I needed to.
She fell onto her knees as I tightened my grip on her, she gasped for breath, scratching my arm to let go but I didn't.
You've put me through hell, now I'm giving you a sneak peek to where you're going in the after life.
My voice was low and sounded like I've been crying with the voice cracking but I was serious.
I felt her tears escape her eyes and hit my arms, as I felt her slowly give up, I let go.
She fell onto her hands and knees, coughing and trying gasp for air.
I crouched down to her level and grabbed her chin to force her to look at me, I was letting her know I'm no longer her toy.
"I'm my own person, so treat me like it or next time I won't let go. It's a promise not a threat."
With that being said I stood up and went to the house, I walked upstairs and cleaned my cuts.
The pain in my stomach and thigh came back but I ignored it, I wanted to feel like I was powerful and not a loser.
I wish I knew that this was going to ruin my life because if I did, I would have never done it.
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