Chapter 39, Hiding The Pain

Maybe to you, I ran out and ran away like I was a selfish, self-centered lunatic but I ran out and ran away because of the pain you caused me.

Today was the day I had to meet the Euphoria cast and begin season two, I was back at the house.

I took a showered and grabbed my suit case and dufflebag.

Mrs Martin dropped me off at the airport, she kissed my forehead and said goodbye.

I walked inside and sat down, my phone was still dead and I didn't feel like charging it.

I took a deep breath and played with the ends of my shorts.

I was wearing a Yankees jersey with a white crop-top and shorts.

I was wearing Jaden's snapback, it made me feel like I was back with him again.

He made me feel like I wasn't going insane and that I was never annoying.

I sighed and closed my eyes, but quickly opened them when I heard some voices.

"Natalie?"

I turned around and was shocked to see the Waltons, Jaden's jaw dropped.

Jayla's eyes watered, Daelo ran out of his mom's arms and ran straight into mine.

I missed the little kid, he was like my little brother.

Today marks being gone for a full month, I missed my twins and my family.

I let go of Daelo and ran straight into Jaden's arms.

He lifted me from the ground and twirled me around, he kissed my forehead.

I cried as I hugged Jayla, everything felt unreal.

I hugged everyone except Javon, I wanted to smile but I watched as Lola ushed in with her bags.

I looked away quickly and grabbed Jaden's hand.

"You're back."

He whispered into my ears as he wrapped his arm around my waist, I think he was trying to make sure I was real and wasn't a dream.

I nodded and hugged him once more, tightly as if I was telling him I wasn't going anywhere.

DJ gave me his phone and told me to call my mom, I didn't wait a second.

I dialed her number and it was picked up after the first ring, I took a deep breath and smiled.

"DJ? Hello?"

Her voice was frantic, I could tell she didn't get much sleep and she was losing it slowly as I had ran away.

I didn't want her to feel like any of this was her fault, it was all mine.

"Mommy?"

My voice cracked.

"Natalie, baby, come home. Please, I'm sorry for whatever I did."

"Mommy, I'll can't come home. I'm safe, I'll visit you everyday. You didn't do anything either."

I explained, I couldn't go back to living with my mom because it would mean I had to see Lola and Javon.

"Baby please, honey I miss you."

"I miss you too, I'll explain everything later."

I wish I hadn't said that, later would have never came for me and I didn't know that.

I should have told her right then and there, I didn't care if Javon or Lola would get mad.

I hung up after a moment and handed DJ his phone, I caught up with everyone and had a great time.

Jayla had told me that she had yelled at Javon once I ran out.

She always told me that Jaden was an emotional mess, he would always come to me whenever he had problems but I was nowhere to be found so he has to speak to Jayla.

I hated myself for putting them through that, it made me seem selfish.

I noticed only Jaden and Jayla were the only other ones with their suitcases packed, I smiled as I knew I wouldn't be alone with Lola and Javon.

We boarded our plane, my seat was next to Javon.

"Do you know what you've put us through?"

Javon said, breaking the silence that I wanted to have between us.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes, he has no right to lecture me about my decision.

"Seriously, Jaden and Jayla were screaming their heads off looking for you."

He continued, I know he was staring at me but I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with him.

I didn't even want to breathe next to him, he scoffed.

Maybe to you, I ran out and ran away like I was a selfish, self-centered lunatic but I ran out and ran away because of the pain you caused me.

I retorted angrily, I didn't want to be lectured.

I already know what I did was horrible but he had no right to speak to me like I wanted to do that.

He chose her, he always will.

But I choose him, I always will.