《Notes in My Locker》LI. Fading Away
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Chapter 51, Fading Away
I felt free for the first time in months, I was no longer afraid of the future.
"She seems fine, it looks like she will be able to make a full recovery."
My doctor said before leaving my room, I was still unconscious but I was able to hear everything.
I smiled weakly, I was going to be able to walk out of this hospital happy and healthy.
I felt as if someone sat next to me but I still couldn't get myself to awake, I wanted to know who it was but I couldn't.
Soon a kiss was planted upon my forehead, I knew then it was Garrett.
I'll admit, I'm afraid to die.
I talk a big game and say I'm not but truly I am, I don't know what might happen if I do.
Soon I was able to open my eyes to a bright light, I looked to my right and there was Javon.
He looked tired but didn't dare go to sleep, he looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.
He walked over to me and kissed my forehead, I didn't want to forgive him yet.
I felt like I was harming myself by forgiving and forgetting too easily, so I just smiled and closed my eyes again.
Hours passed and it seemed like I could walk around, with the help if my nurse, we walked around together.
I was healing rather quickly, the doctor was proud to say that in two months, I would be allowed to leave.
My family was happy to hear that, so was I.
I wanted to be home and lay in my bed again, my legs were sore from lounging around a lot.
So we walked around some more before putting me back to bed, it was now night time.
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Everyone went home, I was alone with my thoughts like I always was.
I was skeptical on how fast I was healing, I should've been here for at least six to nine months, but I wasn't.
Everything felt weird to me like I wasn't supposed to even be alive right now, but I was and that was scaring me a lot.
I closed my eyes and woke up back into the whit waiting room where Elizabeth sat.
"I thought you wouldn't show, do you know I was just about ready to come and get you."
I laughed and hugged her tightly, we have grown close since the past 48 hours.
We spoke a lot about what was going to happen to me and how I felt like I shouldn't be alive.
When I said that Elizabeth went silent, I assumed I had made an error with my words and decided to change the subject.
We spoke about celebrity crushes and school, how her life was like in Argyle, Texas which was where she moved when she died.
We spoke a lot and it was the first time in weeks that I had a genuine laugh, she made me happy.
But then again a lot of things made me happy.
I felt free for the first time in months, I was no longer afraid of the future.
I admitted to Elizabeth as we were running around, it felt good to get my energy out.
We played tag and Marco Polo for fun, I started fading away from the waiting room.
I knew it meant I was starting to wake up, so I hugged Elizabeth as I faded away.
But everything felt fuzzy as I opened my eyes, it was like I wasn't me anymore.
I looked around and felt like I wasn't even alive anymore, but I had my body and I was still connected to my monitor as well as I had an IV in.
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So I was very confused on what I was thinking about or doing, I closed my eyes but it didn't take me back to the waiting room.
Instead I was reliving my memories, all good and all bad.
But I never felt the pain, instead I was feeling happiness and freedom again.
I looked down at my hands and noticed it was fading, it was like I wasn't going to here on earth for much longer.
But the doctor said I'd be out of here in two months, I am so confused.
I slowly fell back asleep, allowing my mind to run free.
Maybe it was me being sleep deprived, I decided to just sleep and allow myself to relax.
I needed to relax or I'd be feeling this way forever, I felt chills run down my spine.
But I brushed it off considering nothing bad could happen to me while I was in the hospital.
I should really learn how to take gut feelings seriously instead of just brushing them off like an idiot.
But oh well, you lived and you learned.
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