{edited/rewritten}

do you even know you changed?

It's been two weeks and I would like to believe that I am getting better and that I'm finally getting over Carter and what he has done to me. However, nights like these make me rethink that. Chance and I just got back from a date, one of many since I left the hospital last week. We're laying in our bed and we're kissing. There's nothing wrong with that. He's my mate and I'm allowed to kiss him. I keep letting Carter get the best of me. When will I stop him from controlling my life?

So, when Chance started letting his hands wander, I jerked back. Flashbacks of the things Carter did to me played before my eyes like a movie. Every painful thing he had done to my body flashed before me in seconds and I pulled away from Chance.

1, 2, 3, breathe

He's not Carter

I closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing under control and not let Chance see that I'm currently freaking out. How can I move on when every time Chance touches me, I feel Carter's hands?

4,5,6, breathe, he's not Carter

I opened my eyes and saw Chance's eyes flash from blue to yellow. He was fighting control over his wolf. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. I sat up in the bed, pulling my shirt down. Tears were pricking at my eyes. How much longer could Chance deal with this? How much longer will he put up with me? When will he finally break and leave me?

"I'm sorry." I said, reaching out to touch his arm but this time, he was the one to pull away.

So, this is what it feels like?

"It's fine, Bailey. Just go to sleep, okay?"

Chance grabbed a pillow from our bed and a blanket from the closet. He went for the bedroom door and I called out to hi, stopping him in his tracks. His back was towards me and I watched him tense up. "Where are you going?"

Without turning around, Chance mumbled back. "I'm sleeping on the couch. Just go to bed."

Chance walked out of the room and away from me. The door slammed shut behind him and I'm pretty sure my heart broke with the noise.

He's not Carter

***

I woke up in bed with a gasp, my body drenched in sweat. I went to touch the spot next to me, for some comfort, but the spot was cold beside me.

I looked to the clock next to me and saw it was almost four in the morning. Every night I wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. When will everything go back to normal? When will I get a good nights sleep?

Grabbing the comforter from the bed, I wrapped it around me and slowly walked downstairs. The only light guiding me was from the kitchen. When I made it to the living room, my heart sped up. Chance was laying on the couch, his legs hanging off the end and his mouth wide open. A blanket was draped around him and he look really uncomfortable.

I walked over to the couch and peeled away the blanket that was on him and threw it on the ground. I laid down on top of Chance, my head resting on his beating heart, our legs intertwining, and then draped the blanket over us. His arms automatically wrapped around my body and pulled me closer to him. I snuggled closer and breathed in his scent.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled groggily.

"I'm sorrier. I'm trying to get better. Please don't give up on me."

Chance whispered back to me. "I could never give up on you. I love you too much. I'm here for a long time, do you understand? I will help you get better. I love you, Bails."

Chance kissed the top of my head. "I love you more."

With a smile on my face and Chance rubbing small circles on the side of my exposed stomach, I fell asleep and stayed asleep.

***

"This is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life."

"Hannah, love, I thought I was the cutest thing you have ever seen. I am your mate after all."

There was a door opening and closing and then someone else came into the room. "You two need to keep it down or you're going to wake them up. It looks like they need this. Bailey also hasn't been getting any sleep."

"Of course, Mrs. S. Your daughter needs all the rest she can get."

Someone sighed. "Too late, looks like your big mouth woke them up."

I slowly opened my eyes and saw my parents, Ryan, and Hannah standing above me. Chance was also opening his eyes and he pulled me a tiny bit closer to him and placed a small kiss on my forehead. I yawned, feeling exhausted even though I was just asleep. "What are you guys doing?"

Hannah smiled, "What are you guys doing? Why are you two sleeping on the couch when you have a giant comfy bed made for forty upstairs?"

I sighed, "It's a long story."

Hannah looked at Chance and then t me. "I've got time. Want to maybe go and get breakfast? We haven't had girl time in so long."

I looked to Chance, whose eyes were closed again and then looked back up at Hannah. "Sure. Let me just go and shower first and then we can go."

I sat up and rolled onto the floor so I could get off the couch and off of Chance as well. Once he realized that I took the blanket with him, he quickly grabbed the pillow from behind him and placed it over his lap. Ryan laughed loudly. "Got a problem there?"

Chance frowned. "Shut up."

I laughed and blushed, trying to not feel as embarrassed as I did. I don't know why I feel this way. We haven't done anything. I walked away from everyone's laugher and up the stairs, loving the way I was currently feeling. For once, I wasn't thinking of Carter. I was happy and free and never wanted to stop feeling this way.

***

"Tell me everything!"

I took a sip of my coffee and shook my head slightly. "There's nothing to tell! We got into a fight and we went to sleep on the couch because of it. I woke up from another nightmare and just wanted my mate and to feel safe again. So, I went downstairs and cuddled on top of him and we made up and both fell asleep down there. Nothing else happened."

Hannah looked unconvinced and nodded her head, eating some more pancakes from her plate. "And you're sure you didn't have make up sex?"

I sighed. "Hannah, I'm pretty sure I'd know if I had sex or not, which I didn't."

"But, on a serious note, how are you really doing?"

"I'm doing better. I'm seeing a therapist and she's really helping me get through this. I have amazing friends and family that are so supportive and helping me get better every day."

Hannah smiled brightly, "That's really great. I'm so happy for you, we all are."

I smiled back at Hannah. We continued eating our lunch and just talked up a storm and caught up with one another. It felt so good to have someone that wasn't staring at me like I was going to break. Eating lunch with Hannah made me feel like how I felt before Carter kidnapped me.

When it was going on three hours of us being at this diner, the waitress came over and handed us the check. "Is that all for you today, Luna?"

"Yes, thank you. Could you put this one the Alpha's card?"

"OF course." She said and took the black credit card from my hand.

Hannah smirked, "You're already sharing credit cards with each other?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "He gave me his card this morning and told me to buy whatever I wanted so I'm treating us to lunch."

"Well, thanks, Bail, I appreciate it very much."

When the waitress came back with the card, I signed the receipt and left a tip. When we were all ready to leave, we both stood and began walking out and going to the car we borrowed from the pack house garage. When we were walking outside, I started to feel a little hot.

"It's so hot out today." I said, feeling myself begin to sweat.

Hannah furrowed her eyebrows. "Bailey, it's winter. It can't be hot outside."

I frowned and sat down on the grass outside the diner. "It's really hot. I feel like I'm going to pass out."

Hannah bent down and touched my arm which made me flinch away in pain. She cured and looked forward, her eyes flashing gold.

"Who are you mind linking?"

"Chance."

I could feel my cheeks begin to burn. I wanted to rip my clothes off. "Why?"

"Because, dear friend, you're going into heat."

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