I find a single red rose with a note on my doorstep the next morning as I'm heading out for work. I look around suspiciously but there's nobody outside. I reach down to pick it up and open the little envelope and take out a note. I'm sorry for hurting you, it reads, I hope you have a good day. I love you.

-Josh.

I can't help it. A smile spreads on my lips as I reread it over and over until I realize I'm going to be late for work if I don't move any time soon. I get into my car and place the rose on the passenger seat. When did he leave this? Last night? He couldn't have driven back this morning. He said he was working. It's amazing how he has the ability to make the butterflies in my stomach go wild with a simple gesture. God. I love him so much, it makes me sad. This love makes me vulnerable. I know I won't be able to keep fighting against my heart for long. It's his and there's nothing I can do about it.

I stop by Starbucks to get my coffee before heading to the school. It's only a few miles from where I live. I've grown used to Newport. I love that if you get close enough, you can see or hear the sound of the ocean. I don't know why I didn't move here sooner. I can see myself living here for the rest of my life.

I greet Lori when I get to the classroom and help her prep for the day while making small talk. We're both professionals so we keep our personal lives out of our conversations. I don't mind at all. Getting personal at work is sometimes not a good idea and I see myself staying in the school for a long time so I know I have to stay professional.

Besides, I have Savannah and Crystal for the personal stuff. They dig at me all morning about Josh in our group chat. I can't text back so my phone just vibrates every few seconds while they text without me. I catch up with their conversation during lunch. They are planning a birthday get together for me. My birthday is in two weeks, from this Saturday to the next, and apparently I already have plans. They planned a campfire type of party. There's nobody else I'd rather spend my birthday with so I don't object.

, Crystal texts back.

I roll my eyes at the screen.

, she texts.

, Savannah agrees.

That makes me laugh and blush at the same time. What does Savannah have against Ezra anyway? I know she as the one to give Josh our address. I decide to ask her tonight when I see her.

I have a good day at work. I love working with kids, it makes me want to have my own. Soon hopefully...

I try to ignore the fact that thinking about having kids makes me think about Josh. He's the only man I would want to have kids with, despite everything that's happened.

Why can't I just get back together with him? Why can't I get over my fear of getting hurt? Why does this have to be so complicated?

And then there's Ezra who is walking over to me right now.

The school day is over and he is holding Jake's hand as he walks towards me. I look at him with that kind smile of his and feel guilty for some reason. It feels like I cheated on him though we're not together and me and Josh didn't do anything...

"Hey," He says when he reaches me.

I smile. "Hey, how are you?"

"Good." He looks around nervously and I know what's coming out of his mouth before he says it. "Want to grab dinner later today? My sister will have Jake so it'll be just the two of us," he says in a low voice so Jake won't hear.

I smile down at Jake who is too busy looking at the playground. "Sure, yeah."

"Great." He grins. "I'll pick you up at six?"

"Sounds good." I agree.

"Alright. See you." He waves at me as he turns around. "Come on, Jake."

I watch as he walks away holding Jake's hand. As fun as it may have sounded to date two men at the same time, I know I can't do that to Ezra. I need to be honest with him and the truth is that I love Josh and I want to make this work between him and I. I can't be selfish. It's just not me. Ezra is a good man. He deserves better than someone who is already in love with someone else.

When I get home later, I find Savannah watching TV in her room. "Hey," I say walking in and sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Hey," She says munching on popcorn. She's watching The Office. I love that show. "So? How did it go with Josh?" She asks looking at me.

"He asked me for another chance," I say reaching for some popcorn.

"And?" She prompts.

I sigh. "I love him, Savannah. He hurt me and I still love him."

"That's when you know it's real," she says shrugging.

"I'm just scared of getting hurt again. You know how bad it was."

"Yes." She agrees. "But the circumstances made Josh do what he did. It's not like he wanted to hurt you on purpose."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Why are you all into me getting back together with him? You hated him last time I checked."

She shrugs. "I've seen how much you've suffered, Nat, and I know that it was because of him but-he's the man for you. He can make you very happy."

I look at the TV thoughtfully. "How ironic is it that the person that has the potential to hurt me like no one else can is also the person that can make me happy like no one else can?"

"That's love."

I turn to look at her. "You got something you want to tell me?"

She smiles. "What?"

"I know you've been seeing that Kevin guy."

She laughs. "He kissed me last night."

"And?"

She sighs dreamily. "He's a very good kisser."

I roll my eyes at her. "How did you meet him again?"

"He is a regular at work," she says. "I didn't want to get my hopes up when he started going every day at the same time but-he ended up asking me for my number. He's so hot."

I smile. "And you said you didn't want to be in love."

"I'm not in love!" She laughs. "But I really like him. It's scary."

I sigh. "Tell me about it."

"I think it's good that you're not just getting back together with Josh like nothing," she says. "He hurt you. Make him work to earn you back."

"It's not like I'm doing it just for fun. I need to learn how to trust him again."

"You'll get there," she says and there's so much confidence in her voice that I almost believe her.

I stand up. "I better go get ready."

"Hot date?"

I roll my eyes at her. "We're not done talking about Kevin, missy."

She laughs as I walk out of the room. I dress casual in jeans with a red blouse and sandals. I don't know what I should tell Ezra. I know I want to be honest with him. There's just something about him that excites me. I think it's the newness of our relationship. It's easy.

My phone begins to ring then. "Hello?" I answer after checking the caller ID. It's Josh. Its nice to see his name on my phone again. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

"Natalie, hey."

"Hey, how are you?"

"Better now that I'm hearing your voice," he says making me smile.

"Thank you for the rose," I say looking at it on my nightstand.

"I'm glad no one stole it." He jokes and I laugh. "Listen, I don't have much time but I wanted to know if you'd allow me to take you out this Saturday?"

"That sounds good." I agree with a smile.

"Great. I can't wait to see you." There are some background noises in his end. "I gotta go. You take care, alright?"

"Okay. You too."

"I will and Natalie?"

"Yeah?" I ask pressing the phone closer to my ear.

"Don't forget how much I love you," He says. "Bye."

"Bye," I say but he already hung up.

I don't know why his words make me feel a little emotional. I love the fact that he's never been afraid to tell me how he feels. One of his best qualities is how good he is with words.

There is a knock on the door then and I hurry downstairs to open the door for Ezra.

"Ready?" He asks when I open the door.

"Yeah." I smile. "Would you mind if we walk?"

"Of course not. I think there's a sushi place around here right?"

"Yeah, this way," I say leading him to the right.

"How was your day?"

"Good," I say looking straight ahead. "How was yours?" Ezra works as a mortgage loan officer in a bank. He helps people get their dream houses, in a way.

"I closed a loan so it was a good day."

We walk in silence for a moment.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something," I say slowly.

"What is it?" He asks looking at me.

"My ex showed up yesterday before our date." I bite my lip nervously. It's so weird to think of Josh as my "ex" for some reason.

"Ah." He nods slowly. "That's why you were so quiet."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I tried not to be."

"So?" He asks. "Are you back together with him...?"

"Not exactly," I say slowly. "Josh and I-" I look straight ahead as I think about my words. "We didn't have an easy relationship. I was sort of engaged to his brother before he cheated on me." I turn to look at him, wanting to see if he's going to judge me. He's not. His eyes are unreadable as he raises his eyebrows.

"Hmm, okay."

"Yeah," I say. "We fell in love when we shouldn't have and...we hurt a lot of people when our families found out."

"And you still love him." He states.

"I don't want to lie to you, Ezra," I say quietly. "Yes, I still love him. It feels like I'm going to love him until I die...but he hurt me so I didn't get back together with him. He did ask me for a second chance and-I agreed."

"Is this a pity dinner?" He asks.

"Not at all," I say quickly. "Truth is, I don't know what to do. Before he came back, I had every intention of giving you and I a chance and now-I'm just so confused." And frustrated with myself. And scared. And very much still in love with Josh.

"I knew you were in love, Natalie," Ezra says after a moment. "So he was already competition for me."

"I don't want you to waste your time on me-"

"How about we go on a few more dates and see where it goes?" He smiles at me. "I really like you and if you're willing to, we can spend some more time together. And you let me know when you figure out what you want to do."

"And you're okay with me dating him at the same time?"

"We're adults," He says. "I know we're not exclusive yet. I'd like to meet him though. You know, get to know the enemy." He chuckles so I know he's joking.

I laugh nervously. "I actually think you two would get along."

"Well, we do have similar taste," he says grinning as he rubs his shoulder against mine playfully.

I blush with a smile.

We arrive to the sushi place and have a nice conversation over dinner. He doesn't bring up Josh again but he does ask me about my family so I tell him about Savannah and my parents. It's actually quite nice. It's easy to talk to him. He's so polite. I feel like I have his full attention when we talk.

Later that night as I try to sleep, I try to ignore the thought that popped into my head every few seconds while I had dinner with Ezra.

He is not Josh.

He is not Josh.

He is not Josh.

Truth is that no...he's not.

Please comment & vote!