"Pregnant?"He Asked Looking Surprise Like It Was Impossible

"I Took A Pregnancy Test Today..I Haven't Been Feeling Well...I Guess Now I Know Why Im Definitely Pregnant Aug"I Said Feeling Ashamed

"Well You Keepin It?"He Said Like I Had Another Option

"Of Course I Am"I Said

"We Got Too Much Shit On Our Plate Already.....We Got Enough Going On Right Now And Now You Tellin Me You Pregnant...We Can't Keep This One We Cant Afford Too "He Said Frustrated

"What Is You Saying August"I Asked

"Im Saying I Got Three Kids Already I Don't Want This One...You Gon Have To Get Rid Of It" He Said

"You Asking Me To Get Rid Of Our Child Do You Hear Youself Right Now"I Asked Him

"You Know What Im Going Through Right Now....How Can You Even Think We Can Have Another Baby? Don't Worry Bout It Ima Get You In A Real Good Clinic I'll Pay Whatever Just To Get This Gone If You Want I Even Go With You I'll Hold Ya Hand The Whole Time"He Said

"You Would Hold My Hand Through An Abortion But You Didn't Even Show Up To The Birth Of Our Children I Can't Believe You I Am Not Getting An Abortion"I Said

He Looked At Me With Anger In His Eyes "Than You Take Care Of It...On Ya Own Cause I Don't Wont No Parts Of It"

"Its A Baby...Not An It"I Corrected Him

"Its Yo Baby Not Mines!"He Said

Than He Walked Out Angrily

I Was Surprised That I Was Pregnant But Never Once Did I Think To Kill My Child I Couldn't Do It Not For August Not For No One

Abortions Are Cruel And Selfish, I Did It Once I Won't Do It Again

Im Not Killin My Baby For No One Ever Again My Children Are Blessings And I Love All Of My Children

He Didn't Want This Baby I Was Carrying But He Was Willing To Accept A Child He Had No Idea That Even Existed

I Don't Care What He Wants Or What He Thinks Im Gon Have This Baby

The Next Day Kacy And Her Son Kamari Was In Our Living Room With August

Kamari Looked Like Everything That I Loved And Hated At The Same Time

His Eyes Were So Much Like August And He Even Smiles Just The Way August Does What Am I Saying He Is His Son

This Little Boy Who Stared All My Insecurities In The Face Was Standing In My Living Room With His Mother Who Was Smiling And Talkin To August And AugustWho Looked Happy He Haven't Smiled Like That To Me In A Very Long Time

How Can Someone You Love Much Hurt You So Bad The One Person Who I Can't Live With Out Would Leave Me Drowning In My Own Tears For His Own Selfish Needs Again

Where Is The Man That I Married The Man Who Loved Me,Cared Of Me Where Has That Man Ran Off Too

I Look At August And Im Not Sure Who He Is Was His Ego Gotten Bigger And My Self Esteem As A Woman Gotten Lower

Especially When I Was Watching Him Have Family Time With His BabyMama

Shit Was Killin Me Inside

I Look At Him And Think To Myself My Oh My How Can I Love You So Much I Think Of The World Of You Why Cant You Just Give Me Back Half The Love That I Give You

Loving Someone Who Only Love Themselves Is The Worst Kind Of Love

Lord What Have I Gotten Myself In Obvious Something I Couldn't Get Myself Out Of Not Until Death Do Us Part

After Kacy Left August Walked In The Kitchen Where I Was And Said "Im Movin Her And My Son Out Here To Atlanta"

I Ignored Him And Continued Washing The Dishes

"I Want My Kids To Know Each Other,So Could You And Her Please Get Along"He Asked Me

I Ignored Him Again

"I Have An Doctors Appointment Monday"I Said To August

"You Getting Rid Of It"He Asked Me

"No..Im Going To Get Prenatal Care"I Said

"Aziah..Im Under A Lot Of Stress Right Now..Baby You Know That! And I Know I Been Trippin But I Just Found Out That I Have A Another Kid...Thats Makes Four What We Gon Do With Another Baby"He Explained

"I Can't Get Rid Of My Baby August"I Said To Him

"You Can...You Just Rather Make Me Miserable"He Said

"No I Don't August Look I Know We Didn't Plan On This...But When You Hear Our Baby Heartbeat And Realize That Im Carryin A Blessing You Gon Be So Happy About This Child"I Tried To Explain As I Smile

"No I Won't Aziah I Don't Want To Have This Fuckin Baby...You Don't Know How Stressful It Is To Financially Take Care Of A Baby" He Said

"Well Maybe We Could Afford This Baby If You Wouldn't Have Gotten That Bitch Pregnant!"I Said Being Angry

"How Many Times You Gon Keep Throwing That In My Face"He Asked Me

"Untill We Go Back To Being Happy"I Said

"If You Want Us To Be Happy Again Than Get Rid Of It"He Said

"That Would Only Make You Happy!"I Said As I Frowned

I Accidentally Broke A Plate In The Sink "Dammit!"I Said

"Im Not Happy At All Now"He Said

"Im Not Either!.So That Makes Two Of Us "I Yelled Looking Into His Eyes

I Wish Things Were Back To Normal And Not So Complicated

But It Was All Complicated So Complicated I Couldn't Even Figure Out What Was Goin On

If August Was Faithful In The First Place Than I Wouldn't Be So Miserable

I Have To Wake Up And Live With His Mistakes Forever

I Have To Be Reminded Of His Unfaithful Ways Everyday

I Wasn't Happy At All And Neither Was He But In A Marriage You Cant Just Break Up You Still Have To Wake Up With Eachother In The Morning

So We Had To Deal With It

And Even Though August Said He Wanted An Abortion I Was Still Hoping That He Would Turn Around And Be Happy About This Baby

But Monday Morning Came And I Was Waiting For August To Show Up At My Doctors Appointment

But He Never Came,He Proved To Me That He Really Didn't Want This Baby

Cryin On The Inside Because This Child I Was Carrying Had Me Going To War With My Husband And It Hurts Because All I Want Is To Be Happy