Because I Know What Its Like To Have An Abortion And How Empty It Leaves You Feeling In The End There Was Absolutely No Way I Could Have An Abortion Again

I Made One Mistake By Having One Abortion I Won't Do It Again

I Looked At Ayden And Azian And I Can't Picture My Life Without Them My Children Are Apart Me And Apart Of The Love That Me And August Have For Each Other

Watching My Beautiful Children Grow And Learn New Things Everyday Is The Best Part Of My Life I Don't Regret My Babies

Being A Mother Is The One Job That I Love You'll Never How Precious Life Untill You Experience The Joy Of Bringing Another Human Into This World

Im Carryin A Life Inside Of Me ...A Life That Is So Precious,So Sweet,So Pure And So Damn Amazing And I Just Wish August Could See What I See

I Know Things Aren't The Best Right Now But That Doesn't Change The Fact That We Are Having A Baby And Thats a Beautiful Thing Its Something That I Cherish My Children Are My Strength

We Made A Life While We Made Love,He Whispered Softly Inside My Ear "I Love You" When We Created This Baby Inside Of Me As I Looked Up And Glaze Into Eyes

A Sweet Moment Gave Us An Sweet Angel..I Did Alot Of Fucked Up Shit In My Life But I Feel Like My Children Are The One Thing That I Did Right

Ayden,Azian And The Baby That I Am Carrying Aren't Mistakes They Are Glorious Blessings Sent Down From The Heavens Above

When I See Them Wake Up In The Morning I Can't Help But To Smile And Think To Myself How Good God Is To Me

He Blessed Me With These Babies And I Gotta Thank Him Everyday For It Cause With My Kids I Would Of Died So Long Ago

But Because I Am A Mother I Have No Choice But To Survive For Them Because They Need Me No Scratch That I Need Them

These Babies Are My Life Without Them I Couldn't Be... I Love My Babies More Than Anything In This World

Over A Few Weeks My littles Stomach Was Now Poking Out Already And I Was Happy As Ever Even Though Me And August Are Distance More Than Ever I Still Was Happy About Bringing Another Baby In This World

I Didn't Tell A Soul That I Was Expecting......Not Because I Was Embarrassed But Because I Wanted To Surprise Everyone

Im Only A Few Weeks Pregnant Anyways Soon I Will Be Telling The Whole World That Im With Child And Hopefully My Husband Will Be Right By My Side Supporting Me

I Was Standing In The Mirror With My T-shirt Lifted Up When Ayden Pulled His Shirt Up Too

I Giggled And Said "You Fat Ayden"

He Smiled And Said "You Fat Mama"

I Smiled And Said "You Got That Right And I Thank God For It.." While Staring In The Mirror

Than I Got A Phone Call From Jalen I Smile Than Answered It

"Hello"I Said

"I Miss You"He Said

"I Miss You"I Said As I Giggled

"Yeah Sure You Do Hows Married Life Going For You"He Asked

"Are You Asking Because You Really Care Or You Asking Just To Be A Asshole Jalen"I Asked

"Cause I Care And To Be An Asshole "He Said As He Laughed

I Playful Rolled My Eyes As He Said "So How Is It"

And Honestly I Replied"Lonely Really Lonely"

"I Ain't Never Been Married But Im Pretty Sure You Don't Suppose To Be Feeling Lonely"He Said

"Its Alot Going On With Us Jalen.."I Said

"I Can Tell By The Way You Sound...You Want Me To Come Save You Just Say The Word And I'll Drop Everything I'll Get On The Next Flight And Come To You"He Asked

"No..Jalen I Love My Husband I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore To Get Through To Him"I Said Feeling Hopeless

"You Need To Talk To Him If You Love Him Than Don't Give Up On The Nigga Just Yet"Jalen Said

"Are You Really Giving Me Real Advice"I Asked

"Surprisely Yes So Take It...If He Keep Fucking Ima Have Come And Handle His Business Since He Can't"He Said

I Will Be The First To Admit For The Past Weeks I Been Feeling Hopeless I Been Like My Marriage Was On The Rocks Me And August Are Not Seeing Eye To Eye ....Its Been So Much Rain I Can't Hardly See That Sun Shinning Ever Again On Us

Not To Sound Like A Fool But I Really Did Think That We Would Live Happily Ever After When We Got Married Never Did I Think I Would Be Pregnant Again With A Man Who Only Cares About Himself

But I Just Wanna Be Happy So I Swallow All My Pride That Had

And Tonight I Took A Long Hot Well Needed Shower I Put On Something Very Sexy I Did My Hair And Make Up Because I Wanna Look Nice For Him

I Rubbed My Body Down With Bath And Body Works Sprayed On Some Perfume

I Even Lit Candles All In Our Bedroom I Turned The Lights Down Off

I Was Smellling Lovely And Looking Like A Woman Who Desperately Wanted Her Husband To Lust After Her

Soft Jazz Played In The Background As I Patiently Waited For Him To Come Home And This I Wasn't Falling Asleep

I Just Wanna Make Love Tonight,I Just Wanna Be Happy Even If Only Lasts For A Few Hours

Tonight I'll Say Sorry Even If Did Nothing Wrong I'll Say I Was Wrong Even Though I Was Right...I'll Put My Pride To The Side And Make The First Move

He Walked Through The Door I Smiled And Said "Hey...Hows Was Ya Show"

"Fuckin Unbelievable"He Said In A Aggravated Tone

"Come Here Than Let Me Ya Night A Little Better"I Said As I Bit My Bottom Lip

He Turned The Light On Blew The Candles Out And Said "Im Tired I Just Wanna Shower And Go To Bed"

"You Can Take A Shower After I Ride Ya Dick Off"I Said As Twirled My Hair With My Finger

"One Question Is You Still Pregnant?"He Asked

And All Of The Sudden I Wasnt In The Mood No More

I Rolled My Eyes "August I Really Dont....Want To Argue Or Fight Tonight With You"

"Answer My Motherfucka Question!"He Demanded

"Yes...!"I Answered

"You Really Go Aganist Me After I Told Yo Ass To Get Rid Of It" He Yelled At Me

"Can We Please Not Do This Tonight"I Begged

"If You Get Rid Of It We Won't Have To Argue Every Fuckin Day You See How Many Problems Its Already Causing Us!"He Said

I Stood There Feeling Silly For Even Trying To Set The Mood In The First Place

"I Got Bills, Mortgages,Three Kids Already...How Many Time I Got Fuckin Tell You We Don't Need A Another Fuckin Baby!"He Said

And Still I Just Sat There Being Quiet Cause Tonight I Really Just Don't Feel Like Fighting I Didn't Have Energy Too

"You Ain't Doin Shit To Help Pay All These Fuckin Bills,You Just Keep Getting Pregnant Thats Why I Asked Ya To Get Tubes Tied Because I Didn't Want This Shit To Happen! "He Continued

A Tear Slowly Streamed Down My Eyes But He Didn't Even Stop To Noticed That I Was Crying Because He Was To Busy Yelling At Me

"Im Outchea Workin My Ass Off! EveryDay! Every Night! To Make Sure We Good While You Lay Around And Get All These Babies That You Can't Fuckin Take Care Of You Lucky I Don't Throw Ya Down The Stairs Myself ...!"He Yelled

As Im Wiping My Eyes He Walked In His Bathroom And Slammed The Door

My Feelings Were Hurt Badly By The Man I Loved Most Why Do I Continue Stay And Put Up With This Its Clear He's Not Changing And Im Not Getting Any Younger

The Crazy Part Is That I Still Loved Him After He Said All Those Things About Me And This Baby I Still Fucking Loved Him

Why Do I Still Love Him? I've To Asked Myself That Same Question A Thousand Times And I Still Can't Seen To Come Up With A Clear Answered

One Night Without Arguing Is All I Wanted But Instead I Found Myself Curled Up In A Ball Cryin My Eyes Out

My Heart Aches My Soul Cries For The Man I Married For He Was Gone With The Wind The Stars And The Moon

While I Was Laying Down As Tears Rolled Down My Eyes I Realized That Our Marriage Was Headed To Failure

We Been At It For Weeks And This One Night All I Wanted Was Peace And To Make Love To My Dear Husband Whom I Love So Hard But He Wasn't Backing Up So I Guess We Still At War Now