《Absurd Haikus, an Autobiography》absurd haiku #15 (on donald trump)
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Portly orange swine mittens kittens. Hog slop talks back, "We died for this?"
Author's note: lest this be misinterpreted, hog slop is to swine as fodder is to ruminants, as in cannon fodder. Years ago a grocer in a tiny shop said to me, unbidden, "Politicians are the lowest form of life on Earth. They thrive on working people"s sweat and the working class's children's blood." Also, the formerly conscious constituents of this vile creature's meals would surely speak what the slop says here, if only they might.
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