Pain!

That was the only thing she could feel in her heart,every ounce of her soul is screaming in pain and shrinking in guilt.

Instances have happened which she wished that she could erase some things out of her life,just the way you can use a cleaner to remove what you wrote with a pencil,she wish she could also erase some things from her life or even remove the paper without leaving any trace of it,well that would have happened only if life was a book or pencil and cleaner.

She patted Yazeed's shoulder as she lovingly gazed at him "Wake up it is already morning." She said and laughed at way he pouted his lips visibly annoyed "Ummi please leave me alone." She rolled her eyes as she drag him out of the bed "Come on let's go to the toilet and get your face washed and then get those stinky teeth brushed also." She laughed mischievously and Yazeed quickly opened his mouth to protest "No they don't stink."

"Of course they do and if you don't brush your teeth then they will stink and if they stink do you know what will happen?" He quickly shook his head "What will happen?" He said and all the sleep on his eyes have flown away as he waited for her answer "Then you won't have friends because they don't want people with stinking teeth." She said and laughed at the way he quickly stood up "Let's go and get my teeth brushed,I want alot of friends." He said smiling and she held his hand firmly and they walked to the toilet.

After taking their breakfast both of them sat down on the bed as they conversed,that is actually what they do all day long inside this room of theirs,they just sleep,eat,play and talk,each and everyone in the house hates seeing her and so she just stays inside the room rather than going out and hearing things that will increase her pain.

Yazeed softly smacked her shoulder and she looked at him with questioning eyes,did she forget to put "Think" in what she does all day?,well it is a very big part of her day "Ummi I also want to go to school just like other kids." He whined as he looked at her.

Will Yazeed just stop making her feel the pain in her heart increasing?

She sigh as she smiled at him "You are still young." She turned her back to him but it seemed like he wasn't going to let it slide today because he also shifted to where she was "But Ummi many children that are smaller than me also go to school,I have even heard them saying A B D F G." He said smiling and she laughed "That is not correct Yazeed." She informed the little boy and he pouted his lips "Then take me to school so that I can learn correctly."

Letting out a shaky breath she held his hand "I will take you to school soon I promise,just be patient throwing a fist won't solve the problem." He angrily looked at her and then tears start flowing out of his eyes "I want to go to school so that I can be putting uniform and I also want to learn many things,take me to school Ummi,take me to school." He was crying and talking with a little high pitch voice "Yazeed." She thundered angrily.

"Stop that nonsense and don't anger me." Her eyes were already red and anger was consuming her,she knows that Yazeed outburst is not the reason behind her anger but she just had to vent it out on the little four year old.

"Do you think all this is easy for me?,it is very hard to an extent that I feel like jumping off a clip so that I can finally have peace but I cannot do that because it is very wrong,every solution just seems wrong and I just have to keep hoping that everything will be fine one day,my only problem is your happiness Yazeed that is the only thing that matters to me.You are the only one I have so please Yazeed stop adding more salt to my wound." She started talking angrily but then she broke down into tears and hugged her son.

"Am so sorry that you have a mother like me,who cannot do anything for you but I promise you that I will take you to school soon so that you can learn." He nod his head as he cried on her chest and then he slept after a few minutes,she laid him on the bed and patted his head "Ummi will take you to school soon."

Out of boredom she started looking around the room,from the a little bit cracked tiles to the white ceiling then the dirty fan which she made a mental note of cleaning later and everything more,she got tired of looking around the room then walked to the window and just stood their lost in thoughts.

She heard the door got opened and she thought it was Abidah that bought lunch for them "Thank you Abidah." She mouthed then heard a chuckle which was definitely no Abidah's,this chuckle was Zarah's.

With a flip she turned around with a smile on her face "Zarah." She ran to hug her but then shock overpowered her smile because of the way Zarah pushed her back "You are here like a queen inside this house,everything will be done for you,all you do is rest even after you have ruined our families image,you still have the guts to smile." She wanted to tell Zarah that this smile is a very big fake one but she just stared at her unbelievably,it wasn't like they were on good terms but it seriously wasn't that bad.

"What is wrong Zarah?,we can sit down and talk about it,raising voices wouldn't work." Zarah laughed and eyes her painfully "What is left to talk about Ya Yusrah?" Tears sprang down her cheeks as she talked "You have already ruined our lives." Yusrah clenched on the bed sheet and tried to act like she was totally fine even though she was going crazy.

She gathered all her courage and asked "What happened?" Zarah painfully shook her head as tears roll down her eyes making Yusrah more anxious,Zarah is the type of girl that doesn't cry easily no matter what the case might be,she always have a way of holding her tears firmly without letting them roll and that is why seeing Zarah cry as her body shook with loud painful sobs ,Yusrah felt more slackened "Please tell me Zarah."

She raised up her head with her eyes blood shot red "I hate you." She slurred "I hate that you are my sister and I also hate you for what you did,for your stupidness,for all the mess you have created for me."

Yusrah still couldn't pin point what Zarah was talking about but then her whole world crumbled when Zarah uttered her next sentence.

"I have been divorced,And it is all because of your mistake,all because of you Yusrah."