So this is how heart break feels like?

Feeling so low,not enough,low confidence,self esteem.Nothing amaze Yusuf anymore,absolutely nothing.

Yusuf pulled the duvet on himself and sunk inside,his eyes felt so heavy but he still opened them to see the light of another day,another day of tears.

If you will ask Yusuf what love is.He will tell you that it is a very great feeling but he will emphasize the way it hurt for you.It hurts alot.

He let out a groan as he yanked the duvet away from his body,he sat up and shivered when his legs got in contact with the cold tiles.Every single day,it feels like his feeling are becoming more intense and it breaks his heart more.

He doesn't deserve all this.After all the pain he endured,he doesn't deserve this kind of betrayal again.

Tears rolled down from his eyes and he felt miserable,a miserable young man who only cry all day long.Many of his friends have laughed at him for crying over a girl but he just shook his head,they really were never in love.

Truly in love.

But he was,he loved Warisha truly,he still do and maybe he will forever love her.

His heart felt so heavy,the emotions were weighing him down.

He lied down again smiling at the ceiling "Life is so hard." He said to the thin air passing "Life is really hard." He chuckled sadly.

"Why does love hurt alot? Why?"

No answer.

"Because true love is now rare,finding it is also hard."

He turned and Iman stood infront of him "Stop making yourself miserable."

"I can't help it Iman." He voiced out.

"Do you think true love exist?" He asked.

"I believe it does exist,but Ya Yusuf,it come with a price,with trials,with tears,with disappointments,with happiness,with sadness and every single thing."

"I think Warisha truly love you but she let you go. I don't understand why she did that but she will surely regret it sooner or later because the love you had for her was so true,so pure,so delicate."

Yusuf rubbed his eyes "Despite everything, I am glad we met."

Even a pin drop would be heard because it was so silent,Iman sat there looking at him in awe,she couldn't even believe her ears,yes he learned a lesson from the heart break,but being glad of meeting someone who breaks your heart is way out of her league.She cannot find a piece of her soft hard to understand this.

"When am going to fall in love,I wish the guy loves me exactly the way you loved Warisha.The love,concern and care,every single thing.That love was the purest form of love I have ever seen."

Yusuf chuckled as he rubbed his temples "You will,if you find an idiot like me." He joked bitterly.

"Baba is getting a second wife today." She voiced out and Yusuf chuckled.

"I don't even care anymore Iman." He stated and she held his hand "Mama cares."

Yusuf abruptly stood up,his mother must be heartbroken right now.

"She is trying to hide it but it hurts her alot. I don't like seeing her like that Ya Yusuf." Iman wiped her tears.

"I don't like seeing both of you heartbroken,you two are my strength,please don't let your heart make you weak." She begged and Yusuf wiped her tears.

"Warisha was right,she cannot date a broken person,am broken,we all are.Me,you and mama are all broken."

"The next time am falling in love,I will fall in love with a broken person like me."

Iman shook her head "We are all strong,yes we are broken,everyone is."

"Let's go to mama for now." He dragged his sister's hand.

His life is so messed up,a broken mother,a broken son,a nearly traumatized sister.

Wow!

Perfect life.

He followed Iman into their mother's room and they found her sitting on the sofa lost in thoughts,Yusuf scurried towards her and kneeled down in-front of her as he held her hand,he wiped the tears that he found trailing down he face with his hand "Mama," He called,she didn't budge,she didn't spare him a glance.

"Mama," He called again,she turned this time and her eyes were so red,she had a eye bags and dark circles,she looked miserable.........so miserable.

Yusuf let a sigh escape from his lips.....A very sad sigh.

"Mama,it is fine." That was a total lie,it tasted so bitter and sour in his lips but he needed to console her,despite knowing that nothing will be fine.

She let out a dry laugh as she look at him "Nothing will be fine Yusuf,nothing.It has never being fine. I promised myself to be strong for you two but just take a look at me,am being a complete stupid emotional mess.It just hurts a-lot in here," She poked her chest with her hand "I feel like my heart will burst. I am sure that I don't deserve this,nobody does." She shook her head.

Yusuf didn't even know he was crying until when he tasted his salty tears,it was just too much for him to handle.

"Nobody deserves such a husband,every lady deserves a husband who will love her so delicately and passionately.Sadly,it wasn't written in my qadr." She gulped a lump in her throat as she wiped her tears "Am worried about you two,it is too much for you. I know am not being a good mother,am always locked up inside this room crying or thinking and I rarely give you my time,you need my warmth and I didn't give you that,am so sorry.From now on,I will try and be strong for you two."

"Mama,you are the strongest woman I have ever seen in my whole life.You were,you are and you will forever be strong."

Yusuf stated wiping off her tears which made her smile "I know it is hard to always fake a smile,fake happiness just so that we don't get worried,I know it also hard to take all the abuses he keeps raining on you, I know it is also hard to take all the slaps," His tears intensified,his heart burned with pain as he looked at her shocked expression "I know it is hard to let go of your dreams for him,I know it is hard to love and not be loved back,I know it hard to watch your husband being a womanizer, I know it is hard to see your husband calling your children a mistake,I know it is hard to give your all and not be appreciated,I know it hard to see your husband marrying a girl with the age of your daughter." She let out a sob,a very painful sob as she throw herself on him sobbing heavily,her tears intensified wetting his shirt but most of all burning his heart.

He let her cry it all out,she cried,sobbed loudly,shouted.

Nobody should get to see his mother this broken "I am sorry Mama,am so sorry that you went through all of this.Am so sorry mama." She closed his mouth and wiped her tears.

"I am stronger than this." She voiced to herself with a hoarse voice,her whole body was shaking and Iman passed her a glass of water.It was just like she wasn't inside the room because she was quite.

"You will heal,with time.You need to put effort to heal all by yourself." Yusuf stated patting her back.

"For now let's get ready to welcome the ." Yusuf stated that and hurried to his room,he entered the room and locked the door.

He slide down on the cold tiles and let his tears pour,he let his pain out.

He held his heart as he cried trying not to he loud so that no one will know.It is too painful.He wish nobody experience to his mother like that,it was so heart breaking,so agonizing.

"Ya Allah please," He couldn't even say his du'a because of his tears "Ya Allah please," he said again letting out a painful sob "Please wipe this pain away from mama." He stated gulping down his saliva.

"I don't like seeing her like this,it is too much for me to handle.Ya Allah please,"

After crying and staring at the ceiling,he finally stood up and went straight to the bathroom to bath.He wish all the pain in his heart will be wiped away because it was weighing him down.

After getting ready he went to the wedding Fatiha which took place after Juma'at prayer.He had no other choice than to go because his father told him to go,after all the things the man put him through,he is till being patient because he is his father.He cannot change that.

After the wedding fatiha,he went back home straight and found his mother and Iman sitting in the parlor all decked up "Well done." He greeted sitting down and his mother just nod her head "They said that the bride is coming now." Iman whispered to him and he shrugged his shoulder.

"Isn't it too early?" Iman asked "I don't know Iman." He replied annoyed.He wants absolute silence at this moment.

After asr prayer,he heard the gate being opened and cars entering,he braced himself for what is going to happen next,he turned to take a glance at his mother and she was clenching her fist fighting back her tears.Yusuf knows that this is a ladies thing but he is not leaving his mother and sister alone,he have to stay with them.

Four ladies trooped in and the bride was in the middle,Yusuf greeted the ladies and the sat down.

"We have bought the bride," A lady chirped which made Yusuf roll his eyes "Tell us something we don't know." He said under his breath.

"You are welcome to my home." Mama smiled at the veiled bride.

"Your home?" The brides voice boomed.

"Our home." She corrected opening her face.

Yusuf angrily turned to take a look at the stupid bride,he have to say her mouth is way too sharp for a bride's.

He looked at her and she was smiling at his mother.

His heart thumped wildly and he lost his balance which made him fall on the side of the sofa as he was standing.

He rubbed his eyes trying to despair what was happened.

His heart stopped at that moment,everything became blurry to him.

Warisha is now his step mom!

Warisha,the girl he loves up till now is his father's bride.

Iman also looked so shocked as she sat rooted on the chair.

"Hello my dear step son." She waved her hand to him smiling cheekily.

It was just like he became numb,he wasn't feeling anything,he was void of feelings.One word can describe him.................................Empty.

He was so empty.

He walked out of the house breathing rapidly,his heart was beating so fast and he knows that he is on the verge of going crazy.

He bough his phone out of his pocket and called his friend "Hello Tahir,where are you?" He needed to leave that house at that moment.

"Am at home." Tahir voiced out "Am coming." He hang up.

He entered the car with his whole body shaking uncontrollably,he wasn't even thinking straight at all.

"I want to wake up from this bad dream!" He shouted as he drives.

He wish all this is just a dream....A very bad dream.

He want to wake up,it is too much for him to handle.

His father being married to the girl he love with all his heart,his mother being the rival of the girl he love,his sister being the step daughter of the girl he love and finally him being the step son of the girl he wanted to marry,the girl he visioned his future with.His first love,the girl he loved so crazily.

"Arghhhhhhhh!" He shouted crying.

This pain.

This pain cannot be explained.

This pain is the worst kind of pain.

When he reached Tahir's house it was already maghrib.

"How far? What is wrong?" Tahir asked as he give him his hand to shake "Am going crazy." Yusuf replied.

"Let's go and pray first." Tahir advised and Yusuf nodded his head.

After praying,Yusuf told him about Warisha marrying his father,he didn't tell him about his father being a womanizer because he personally thinks it is a very shameful secret.

Tahir let out a laugh that boomed "So that gold digger married you father now? I cannot even believe it."

"I can't too."

"Hey it is find,you can get someone million times better than her."

To Yusuf that is the problem,he doesn't want someone better,he want her.She is not perfect,she have flaws but she is human,She is perfect to him,and perfect for him.

Scratch that!

He cannot watch her walking around as his father's wife.

He just can't even think of anything.

Everything in his life screams danger and pain.

"I just need to divert my mind from everything.Pain will kill me if I don't divert my mind from all this." His head was thumping loudly,he was having a severe migraine,he rubbed his forehead with the heels of his thumbs trying to lessen the pain.

"One of my girls is hosting a house party tonight,let's go together." Yusuf shook his head at the stupid idea "I don't have time for partying Tahir,am broken!" Yusuf shouted.

"Let's just go." Tahir begged and Yusuf decided to go,maybe the music will help in diverting his mind.

They went to the party and found 3 guys and 5 girls sitting.Yusuf sat on the sofa and hang his head low lost in thoughts.

How is his mother coping?

How is Iman coping?

Tahir passed his a drink and he gulped it down,he took another one then another and then many more.

He started feeling dizzy and seeing people two two.

He was floating in the air which felt good,he felt his pain leaving him.

"I need to ease myself,where is the toilet?" He asked and Tahir called a girl telling her.

"Yusrah,take him to the room,he need to use the toilet." The girl called out to one of her friends.

"This way." The girl directed clearly drunk too.

She led the way and they reached the room.

"Here is the toilet." She states pointing at a door,she scrambled to walk out of the room but he held her hand.

"I need a hug." He stated and dragged her hugging her tightly.

"My life is so messed up." He cried.

"It is fine." She patted his shoulder.

"Am so broken." He whispered to himself.

He felt her soft hands patting his shoulder.

And the rest is history.