He watched her as she sliced the lettuce beautifully,she transferred it into a colander and then walked to the sink.She turn on the tap and start rinsing the lettuce smiling as she swirl to the song playing on her phone which was on the kitchen counter.

Yusuf gulped down a lump in his throat.

Astaghfirullah.

He muttered under his breath,his heart beat palpated and he turned around once more to take a glimpse of her.She stirred the stew which was on fire and Yusuf have to admit that the aroma is so masha Allah.

He hates himself.

He never knew that someone can hate himself this much,but he does.

He hates himself for sneaking in everyday to watch cook.He hates himself for glancing at her every time he gets a chance to clash with her.He absolutely hate everything about himself.

He knows that it is bad,he have no other choice,he still love Warisha!

He tried to hate her,he really tried.But he realized that you cannot just wake up one day and stop loving the person you love with all your heart,it takes time,it takes time to heal and move on.He needs time even though he doesn't have time.

He is so clueless of what to do,he feels like digging up the ground and entering,he even wish he was never born,he even wish he will die.

Astaghfirullah.

Letting out a sigh,Yusuf walked back to his room lost in thoughts,he needs to do something about his feeling,about his pain,about this betrayal.He cannot continue what he is doing,he cannot keep sneaking to look at her,it is haram to look at someone's wife like he does.

To top it all,she is his father's wife.

It all still feels like a dream.Yusuf is still trying to believe that this is all real,he feels like someone will shake him and tell him to wake up.It was all just a dream.

A very frustrating dream.

He is just so sad.He is so broken.

He feels like his heart is being torn into pieces.His heart is boiling in pain,his whole body is in pain,every single thing inside him is hurting.

The pain is just too much,it cannot even be expressed in words.

"Ya Yusuf," He heard Iman's whisper,he turned to look at her,she was standing holding the door knob,she walked to him and he faked a smile at her,she came forward and wiped his tears.That was when he even realized that he was crying.

"Something got into my eyes," He lied,he have to be strong,him being weak is breaking Iman's heart and she needs to be strong.He want her to be strong,so that she can take any challenge life throws at her "Lie to anyone but not to me." She shook her head and he let out a small whimper,he felt pained.

"Ya Yusuf,I don't know how you feel but am sure that it is so painful.I just want you to know that,you can do this,you are stronger than this and you can overcome this challenge."

"Among all the challenges of the world,this is the worst one." He choked on his words.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

He kept chanting it to himself but his emotions always betray him.

He broke into tears!

Iman side hugged him and burst into tears too "I am so sorry Ya Yusuf, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I am sorry." She mumbled as she pat his shoulder.

"You will be fine,you will move on,you will heal,you will love again.Ya Yusuf,you just need time." She stated as she wiped his tears.

That is it,everybody thinks he have time,he doesn't have time.Nobody understands the intensity of this situation.

It is not only about forgetting Warisha and un loving her,he have to accept the fact that she is now his step mother,his father's bride,his step mother.He also have to live under the same roof with her,he have to see her everyday no matter how much he tries to avoid her.

How can he do that?

Mostly,when couple break up,they delete each other's pictures,delete old messages,block each other,delete everything that has to do with each other's memories.

Unloving her is okay.

Hating her is okay.

Being broken because of her is okay.

Carrying her betrayal on his shoulders is okay.

But what is not okay is seeing her everyday.

Walking around as his father's wife,he pictured a future with her,he imagined his marriage with her,he dreamt of building up a family with her but now all this is being thrown harshly on his face.It is weighing him down,he cannot make it out okay.

He is not okay,he have never been okay and their is a doubt that he will be ever okay.

All his life is full sadness,bitterness,heart break,tears.No happiness,smiles,laughter,love and care.

He is just so messed up.

On the other way round he have a mother who is broken,his father is treating her worser than before,he is always with his new young bride.He no more have time for the woman that was there with him when he had nothing,the woman that supported him through it all,the woman who stayed despite everything.

The other side is his sister,she is always blanking out,she is too deep for her age,too sad and depressed for someone in her age.

And him.No cap! He is the most miserable one,he cannot even fake a smile anymore,he cannot fake laugh anymore,all he does is cry without even knowing,sigh a thousand times without knowing,hold his heart because it is hurting a lot.

"Iman,can you do me a favor?" He asked.

"Always." She replied.

"" He voiced out "Never let her know that her son is in love with her rival,never let her know," He let out a rasp breath "Please."

"I won't Ya Yusuf." She replied rubbing his hands.

"It will break her heart."

"The fact that her son once loved her husband's other wife.Well still love her." He chuckled sadly.

"I don't know what to do anymore Iman,am just so clueless. I don't know how to cope with all this,this pain will kill me one day, I can feel it Iman." She shook her head "No." She stated "You are stronger than that."

"Go and rest." He tried faking a smile.

"Ya Yusuf." She voiced out in a low voice.

"I want to be alone." He stated and she nod her head.

She stood up to leave but he called her "I will never forget that we went through it together,thank you for being there." She nodded her head.

"I will always be there for you." She stated and he smiled,this was supposed to make him happy,but he have no sense of happiness left in him.

He let out a dry laugh as he walked to his dressing mirror.

"This is what I get for falling in love."

He laughed.

"This pain,this heart ache and vulnerability is what I get for falling in love. I thought love makes us happy,I was wrong.."

He stared at his reflection,he had eye bags and dark circles,he looked pale and he have lost weight.His eyes........God..........They held a lot of pain,so much pain,so much agonizing pain,so much vulnerability.

"Why did she do this to me?" He asked himself,he needed to know why she would do that to him,she knew he was broken but did she really have to add more to his plate.He had enough before but she still added more.

"I will ask her." Like an idiot he finalized and walked out of his room,he march his legs to her room and thankfully she was outside the room pressing her phone.

"Why?" He asked,she looked up at him and a smile curled up on her lips "Took you long enough to ask." She chuckled.

"He is richer,I will enjoy more." She answered chuckling.

"Take a look at me,it has just been a week,but am increasing weight and freshness,am happy because I have all the money I need.Finally,my wish came true!"

Yusuf felt like slapping her right on her face,he grinded his teeth trying to maintain his calm.

"Why did it have to be my father?" The question itself broke his heart,not to talk of the answer.

"He was the one I got,it was a one in a million chance and I couldn't let it slip away because of you,even if he is your father,I still need the wealth,the fun and the happiness money have to offer. I need to remove my mother and sister from the thirst of poverty and bring them inside a whole new world and I did." She replied laughing a little.

Yusuf's heart was no more hurting,all he wanted to do was go back in time and erase the time he met her and thought she was innocent.

The girl he loved is not this lady,he loved a different person,her faked character.Her fake perfections and flaws.

All he did was love a fake person.The attitude,the tears,the innocence,the happiness,all of it,everything,every single thing was fake.

Yusuf was about to go back to his room when she dragged him into the room "Stop this nonsense." He blurted horrified,totally taken aback by her sudden action "Your mother is coming." She stated eyeing him.

Opps!

"Maintain your distance,you are a non mehram." He voiced stepping away from her.

They heard foot step coming towards the room and that was definitely his father's foot step,he felt like he was choking on his breath.

He felt breathless.

He felt suffocated.

And then he found himself on top of Warisha on the bed,he doesn't even know when she dragged him there,at that moment he realized what was happening and for the first time he didn't try holding back his tears.

He let them fall.Freely.

He is done for.

He painfully turned to look at his father who was standing with his mouth hanging open in shock and his eyes blazing with anger.

Fire.

Yusuf gulped down the lump in his throat,he glanced at Warisha who was crying.Fake!

Everything about her is fake!

He loved fake!

"" She shouted as she shook with tears.

Yusuf felt like his heart was sparking,like something is about to burst and burn to ashes.

His whole legs shook,his whole body was trembling and he didn't even know when he fell down,his tears flowed out shamelessly.

"I can never do that."

He voiced out.

He is even surprised that he could talk at this kind of moment.

He was feeling breathless,he was trying to calm himself but he was having a panic attack.

What he heard last was "You disappointed me Yusuf!"

And then he let darkness succumb him because it is better.