I wanted to reach for the moon and stars,but I couldn't even reach the sky.

Curled up on the floor,with every ounce of his body shaking.Yusuf stood up and opened the door,someone have been knocking the door for a while now.

Iman walked into the room while he went back to the place where he was sitting before he stood up,he rested his head on the wall as he bought his knees to his chest while he rock back and forth.

Iman wiped the tears that rolled down without her permission as she stared at him,his eyes were looking straight into space,he looked like a zombie.

Her heart constricted in pain and pity for her brother.

Yusuf rocked himself lost in thoughts.

Life.It thought him a lot,it showed him a lot.

He is Yusuf,the same guy who went through every kind of pain quitely,he is brave enough to move on.

But then,this time around.He isn't the victim,but the culprit.

He ruined someone else's life.

"Ya Yusuf...." Iman was scouting close to him as she patted his shoulders "Talk.Say something,your silence is killing me." She bursted into tears but Yusuf didn't spare her a glance.She stopped him from rocking his body back and forth and embraced him tightly.

Her sobs were muffled and tears roll down from his eyes too "I....I.....I ruined her life!" He sobbed out and Iman listened quietly,she didn't want to talk.He is making progress,he is talking.

"I am the reason behind her pain,Iman." He breathed harshly as Iman let go of him looking at him intently in the eye "Scream! Break something! Just don't keep it all in." She sobbed as she held his hand.

"When Warisha accused me of raping her, I was so angry and broken.I told myself that I will do everything but not something that will ruin my family's reputation,I will do everything but not lay my hands on a lady who is not my halal,I will do everything but not rape a lady." He stated sighing "I didn't know that, I already did that!"

"I said, I won't ever do it but I did it.To Yusrah for that matter! I raped her." Tears roll down from his eyes as he held onto his chest tightly,pure pain was oozing out of every ounce of his body.

Iman wiped his tears as she held his face "Take a deep breath," She instructed and he did "Calm down." She patted his shoulder "It will be fine." She stated and he shook his head.

"Don't lie! Nothing will be fine.It has never been fine and it won't ever be fine."

Iman shook her head with tears rolling down her eyes "Ya Yusuf..." She trailed off as he broke down into tears.

He cried and cried and cried.

He would occasionally throw his hand back and sob out loud,he will sometimes carry a pillow to punch then muffle his sobs into it.He will sometimes hit the wall in anger.He will sometimes just sit like a lifeless person on the floor as tears roll down from his eyes.

He cried.

Cried and cried.

For only God knows how long.

He stood by the window as he watched the sky,tears trailed down from his eyes as he wiped them off.

"You know,just when I though life was getting better,life showed me that it can never get better."

Iman shook her head but she didn't dare talk,she couldn't even talk.

"Iman,I cannot sleep or eat knowing that I ruined someone else's life, I snatched away someone's happiness and normal life." Tears rolled down from his eyes "For five years,I lived my life while she....she suffered.She took care of Our son all alone.I didn't even know about it."

"I feel so guilty and remorseful,I......I don't even know what to do, I don't know what to feel....I just— I just feel so bad.She carried the pain all alone, I wasn't there for her."

Yusuf didn't even know what to feel,he couldn't express his feeling.Iman came forward and wiped his tears "I understand how you feel,but it wasn't your fault.You couldn't remember anything,you didn't leave Yusrah stranded on purpose." She stated calmly and he shook his head.

"The guilt is going to kill me."

"I didn't leave her stranded on purpose,but what matters is; I did.I left her stranded.She wasn't able to finish her studies because of what happened while I? I completed my studies."

"She was forced to stay at home while I? I was a free bird."

"She got hated by everyone while I? I was loved."

"She didn't get any support while I? I got you and mama's support."

"Iman.I know that I didn't know about it,but still that doesn't change the fact that; I am the reason why all those things happened to her."

"Forget about Yusrah,I sinned Iman.I am a sinner! I disobeyed my lord.I disappointed you and mama."

"And Yazeed? He grew up without a father."

He stopped talking,thinking about all this makes him feel more and more guilty.

Iman stepped out of the room and got him water to drink,she made him sit down on the bed as he gulped the water down.

"You are guilty,you regret your mistake and you are going to rectify your mistake."

It all hit him that moment.Him and Yusrah are getting married in two weeks.Him and Yusrah,he couldn't believe it.

What game is life playing with him?

"You will give Yazeed a father,you will give Yusrah a husband and you can apologize for all the pain you caused her.Even though it was unknowingly."

"It was meant to happen,it is not your fault.You cannot stop destiny. I am sorry that you have to go through all this Ya Yusuf but I am truly happy! Your future seems bright!" Iman's eyes sparkled as she thought about it.

Yusrah is the lady that makes her brother happy,marrying her will be a bummer.Even though the situation is tense now,but still Iman can see the way destiny is twirling behind all this.It was always meant to be.

Yusuf let out a sigh "The only person who is supposed to marry Yusrah is me,but do I even deserve her? She is so pure and delicate." Yusuf voiced out as he let out a breath "The both of you deserve each other.Only a broken hearted person can fix a broken soul.You both will make a great couple! Ya Yusuf,do you remember saying that "The next time you fall in love,you will fall in love with a broken person like you"?" She questioned and he nod his head.

"That person is non other than Yusrah! Your wife to be!" She widely smiled at him and he shook his head chuckling lightly.

"I will go and get you something to eat.See,you are now a little bit fine after saying it out,your quietness nearly knocked me to death." She stated terrified then smiled and stepped out.Even though he was in no mood to eat,he knew better than refusing Iman.

He carried his phone and rummaged through his contacts as he stared at the number for some seconds before finally dialing it "It is time." He muttered under his breath as the phone started ringing.

With each ring,he felt his heart going wilder,he gasped for breath as he was starting to feel breathless,everything suffocates him.

"Hello?"

He lost his breath.

He struggled to get his breath back and loudly breathed out when his breathing was back to normal,he cleared his throat as he replied "It is Yusuf." He stated and it was her turn to go quite.

After a minute,he heard a low "Oh." from her and he sigh before he stated "You are my victim while am your culprit.Find a place in your heart to forgive me."

"We are each other's culprit." He heard her tender voice reach his ears,her voice is like a sweet melody to him "I don't have anything against you." She stated and he smiled a little.

Silence prevailed the both of them before she finally spoke "It is not your fault,don't blame yourself." He stupidly nodded his head like she was seeing him,finally realizing his mistake he muttered an "I will try not to." He stated.

"Everything will be fine.We will be fine."

WE!

She said WE!

Yusuf felt his heart thudding loudly as he shakily replied "Thank you." He stated.He wasn't talking about the "We will be fine".He was talking about the way she understood him,the way she didn't blame him for everything.

She didn't reply him,she kept quite.

"How is Yazeed?" He asked "He is fine." She replied.

"I am sorry." He stated with guilt and she kept quite,Yusuf knew that she must be crying and he let her cry.

"It is not your fault,Yusuf." She stated as she tried to clear her throat "You didn't do it on purpose.You can never do something like this in your right senses." She have always made him feel better and today is like no other day.

"I know our marriage is out of the blue,but I will make sure to fulfill my duties.I will take care of you and Yazeed." Yusuf promised as he closed his eyes "That is more than enough for me." She whispered and he could feel her smiling.

The line suddenly went off and he let out a sigh "Hmm? Something happened." Iman teased while Yusuf ignore her "Say out your heart."

Yusuf was quite all along,he let out a dry laugh as he raised his head and stared at his sister "Open your heart too much and it tears you apart."

"Keep it closed enough and it chokes you to death."