Beep beep beep. I groggily open my eyes to see Matthew fast asleep next to me. His heart rate machine is beeping away. The sun had just risen and there a pinkness to the sky. I yawn and take in his scent. Hey this could be the last time I smell him don't judge. I grab his shirt and smell it more.

"What are you doing?" Matthew asks his eyes have open.

"Nothing."

"Were you smelling me?"

"No..."

"Your so cute." He plants a kiss on my forehead.

"I can't help to think that this could be the last day we have together. I mean think about it. Two days ago we were in the lake swimming. Now you have brain cancer. Things can change in an instant. And you don't even know it. You could die today."

"Don't worry I'll set aside a shirt for you to smell."

I slap him playfully and say, " don't be a meanie."

"Hey listen. I'm not going anywhere, I still have six months left." He chuckles.

"Are you going to do the surgery?" I ask

"I don't know."

"You should."

"Maybe." He sighs and rests his head on mine. I doze back to sleep.

"Rise and shine!" Matthew wakes me.

"Five more minutes!" I plead.

"No! I'm starving get up."

"Fine!" I rollout of his grip on me and stand up straight. A nurse is in the doorway with food.

"I have some breakfast for Matthew." She says staring at me.

"Gross! Hospital food." He spits. "I'm not hungry."

"How about I'll just leave it on your tray." The nurse motions towards his tray.

"Okay, But I won't won't eat it." Matt says matter-of-factly.

The nurse huffs away. I snicker, "Hey you want McDonald's or something?"

"Wendy's. It's better for you."

"Okay. I'll be back." I say getting up.

But before I can go he grabs me elbow. He pulls me in and kisses me. And I'm out the door.

At school people look at me and ask if I'm okay. I mean I know their just being alright but Matthew will be okay. I don't need their pity. He'll get the surgery done and our live will go back to normal. Everything will be okay again. Life will be okay and m and him will be fine. This will all pass. It's like a rain storm, it'll always pass and the sun will come out again.

A girl come up to me and asks, "Is Matthew alright?"

"He's fine? He'll be fine! Everything's okay!" I run away and go to the bathroom.

Tears fill my eyes. It's just a storm it'll pass, the sun will come out again. That's all I can tell myself. But what if it's not okay? What if he dies? What if he doesn't make it? What if the surgery doesn't go well? What if he and I never get to finish our story? It can't end like this! I sink down against the wall and put my face in my lap. I sob for a while until I hear the bathroom door open. I wipe my tears from my face and sniffle.

"Oh Bridget!" Maddie looks at me and sits down next to me. "What are you crying about?"

Is she seriously asking me this right now? She know exactly what I'm crying about. And what pops in my mind is Matthew, telling me how my friends influence me too much. He's right, he's always been right. They don't care about my life. I'm just a puppet, a pawn; to make them look good. I'm an accessory. I get up and storm out the door.

"Bridget?" She whines.

"What's wrong?" Matthews packing up his things. He's wearing a black button down with a white shirt showing and jeans. I'm sipping my coke and staring into space.

"Nothing." I say. I move over towards his suitcase. "Have you decided?"

"Yeah I things I'll do the surgery." He gives me hopeful eyes.

"What does your mom say?" I look down and fold a shirt into his bag.

"Does it matter?" He says.

"She doesn't agree." I look at him.

"She thinks it's to risky. That's what she says anyway. I think she doesn't really care." His eyes become watery.

I pull him into a hug and rest my chest on his shoulder. He leans down and rests his head on mine.

"I love Matthew, Bradly, Larner."

He sighs and sniffs. Hugging me tighter he kisses my head. He says,

"I love you more than you can imagine."

A smile creeps onto my face as he lets me go. He kisses me quickly and we're back to packing.

We head to my car so I can drop him off at home. I pull up into his driveway and turn the engine off. I look straight ahead. He stares right at me. He knows I have to say something. I don't know how to say it. Then I break the silence.

"I'm sorry. You know, for all of the fights we've had. I know they hurt you. I'm really really sorry." I say tears flooding my eyes.

"I know." He looks down, "I'm sorry too."

"No but it's different, with you. I have all my life to live, and you may not. I - I was waisting time fighting with you is what I'm trying to say." Tears overflowing my eyes now.

"Bridget, I don't want you treating me differently just because I have brain cancer. I want you to treat me as though I never had it." He chokes out.

"That's so hard though." I say peering over at him.

"Please just try." He looks at me straight in the eyes.

"I'll try."

He opens the car door and says, "Goodnight Bridget."

"Gnight." I stare at the steering wheel.

"Matthew wait," I get out of the car and walk over to him, "I love you." And I kiss him.

/:/:/:/

Today they scheduled the surgery. They agreed on doing it in a week. To tell you the truth I'm scared. But you could've guessed that. The doctor isn't sure if he'll make it through the surgery okay. He told me this might be his last week of living. His mom didn't show. She was 'working' which I don't believe for a second.