《Dangerous Woman》Mighty Eagle
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Red, Chuck, and Bomb left the village immediately. The trek would be tough, but nothing was going to stop them. As they climbed, all Chuck and Bomb could talk about was their legendary hero.
“If there is a Mighty Eagle, how come we don't ever hear his battle cry?" Chuck asked.
“I don't know," Red replied, focusing more on the journey.
“Maybe we have!" Bomb added thoughtfully.
“What would a Mighty Eagle battle cry sound like?" Chuck wondered. “You know what? I think I got an idea. Maybe something like, uh... EEEEEEEGGHHH!"
“No, I bet it's more like... Ca-CAW! Ca-CAW!" Bomb suggested. “That's theoretically what it's more like, scientifically."
The three birds huffed and puffed through dense jungle, waded through sticky swamps, and climbed up sheer cliffs... all while Chuck and Bomb made those ear-piercing screams. Red tried to keep quiet, but she eventually reached her limit.
“Stop making Mighty Eagle noises!" she yelled. “It's like running a nursery, absolute childcare!"
“Someone has anger issues!" Chuck whispered to Bomb. Red heard him, but she thought he may be right. But who cares? They had an eagle to find.
Finally, they reached the top of the mountain. In the distance, they saw a giant mountain shaped like an eagle's head. That's where Mighty Eagle lived.
“This, uh... this is the wrong mountain," Chuck realized. They had to go back down and climb the right one!
“My calves are killing me," Red sighed.
Red and Chuck began climbing down the mountain, but it took hours before they could convince a depressed Bomb to come.
🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻🔺🔻
Day turned to evening, then night came and went before the three birds finally made it to the top of the right mountain. They pulled themselves up and rested for a few seconds to catch their breaths.
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“Wow!" Bomb said as he gazed at the scene before him. “That is simply unreal."
“The Lake of Wisdom!" Chuck gasped. He ran all over the place, laughing hysterically. “This is what Mama talked about!"
Chuck got down on his knees and stared into the water.Bomb joined him and they drank from the lake.
“Be honest, do I sound any wiser?" Bomb asked.
“Oh, way wiser," Chuck replied. “You were kinda dumb before. I can say that now."
While Chuck and Bomb were drinking from the lake, Red climbed up the Ancient Tree and found an abandoned nest at the top.
“Guys, nobody's here," she said, worried. “I mean, nobody's used this place in years."
Suddenly, Red saw her friends swimming, drinking, and playing in the sacred lake.
“What are you doing?!" she exclaimed. “Get out of there!"
But they wouldn't listen. Red suddenly heard a booming echo and began to panic.
“Get out! Let's go! Come on!" she warned, pulling them out of the water.
“Red, I found the meaning of life!" Chuck exclaimed without thinking. “It's beautiful..."
“Shut your worm hole!" Red whispered, covering his mouth with her hands. She completely ignored the fact that he pledged his love to her.
The three birds hid behind a boulder as an enormous figure emerged from its cave. The large bird stood at the entrance and spread his majestic wings.
“Oh, wow. It's him!" Red muttered in awe. Chuck and Bomb could only stare at the majestic bird, their beaks hanging open. Their hero was standing right before their eyes!
Unfortunately, their awe immediately turned to horror when they saw Mighty Eagle beginning to relieve himself in the Lake of Wisdom!
“Horrible turn of events," Red whispered in disgust. “Horrible."
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Chuck and Bomb immediately realized that the water they had been swimming in was basically Mighty Eagle's toilet. Bomb began to cry and Chuck scrubbed his tongue with a rock. Mighty Eagle finished his business and headed back into his cave.
“Well," Red giggled, “it's not so much the Lake of Wisdom, it's more like the Lake of Wizz."
“Did you just come here to look at me, or did you have something to say?" Mighty Eagle called out to them.
“I think he saw us," Bomb whispered to Red.
“Oh, you think so?" Red said sarcastically.
Red, Chuck, and Bomb approached the cave as Mighty Eagle came back out. He was a bit older and rounder than they expected, but that didn't mean anything.
“You have passed the first test," he said. “You have found me. Behold! Gaze upon... MIGHTY EAGLE!"
The three smaller birds just stared in confusion.
“I see all and know all!" he claimed. “What are your names?"
“If you know all, why don't you know we are?" asked Chuck. Red jabbed him in the side for asking such a stupid question.
“I know very well who you are," Mighty Eagle continued. “You are lost souls who have come here seeking wisdom."
“Can we have some?" Chuck asked eagerly.
“Wisdom is not something that is given. It is something that is... attained."
Bomb was disappointed. “Oh, okay. Goodbye."
“No, no, no!" Mighty Eagle stopped Bomb before he could leave. “Will I help you attain wisdom? Yes! That, I will do."
Red stepped forward. “Right. So, the reason we've climbed up the mountain is because we want to know..."
Mighty Eagle cut her off.
“Prepare to have your minds blown!" he said, and led them into his cave.
“This guy is good," Bomb said.
“Welcome to the Hall of Heroism!" Mighty Eagle exclaimed as he showed them around his home. The walls were cluttered with awards and photos of Mighty Eagle in his prime.
“Wow, it's really amazing to meet you," Red said nervously. “You know, I actually have your poster up in my..."
“You might want to to shield your eyes from the sparkle of those trophies," he interrupted. “How many? I have no idea. Countless, I'm sure... thirteen."
“Wow, this is way nicer than my Hall of Wimpiness," Chuck said in awe.
Suddenly, Red, Chuck, and Bomb heard music and saw Mighty Eagle dancing in an odd fashion. The only one who wasn't disturbed was Bomb. If anything, he was excited.
“So, he's kind of a wackadoodle," Red figured. “But, you know, it doesn't mean he's not wise."
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