《Green Ham and Eggs [Angry Birds fanfic]》Chapter 3. Not Welcomed Here
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The sun awoke Red from his tiring slumber, helping him forget his disheveled home.
Red blinked his eyes a couple times, sitting up to shake the pieces of sand off, as well as a soft red blanket that covered him. Red inspected the silk blanket, he didn't remember having a blanket when he fell asleep.
Red threw the blanket off and stood up, looking over towards the entrance of the village with all the small people happily chatting with one another and walking around casually. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their day while Red was about to dread his. Red trotted towards his boring classroom, where everyone was already waiting for him. As soon as he arrived everyone stood up and exited the room, making Red groan, rolling his eyes as he walked back out of the room.
"Now since we had a little issue expressing ourselves yesterday."
Matilda began, standing on a yoga mat in yoga pants with a singlet saying 'happiness is key'.
"We shall, instead of controlling our anger through words, control it through movements."
Matilda added stretching her arms back and forth.
"Oooo yoga always helps me stay flexible."
Chuck cheered excitedly, bending forwards, successfully touching his toes.
"Now first pose we'll be doing is some practise stretches so follow after me."
Matilda began, slowly separating her legs so one was in front of her and the other was behind her. Then she levelled her arms to her shoulders and twisted side to side, with everyone except Red following her. Red just sigh heavily as he looked around the peaceful area with people calmly sitting by trees and eating lunches they probably made at home. Something Red wanted to be doing right now.
'This can't get any worse...'
Red thought still looking around, until he saw a familiar green singlet and groaned, covering his eyes. He could now see Leonard along with the judge and tour guide, wondering around the park. Red eyed Leonard suspiciously until Leonard suddenly looked over towards his direction and caught Red staring at him. Red quickly jerked back towards his class who were now doing the downward dog position. Matilda looked and saw Red standing still, stood back up and balanced her hands on her hips.
"Red, you need to also do the poses, you can't just stand there like a lost goose."
Red just sighed as he slowly bent down and tried to pose, closely reaching the ground as his legs ached in pain. Red shook as he stretched his limbs to stay in position. Only then did he really know how unflexible he was.
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"And this is one of our many parks, where a lot of our native birds live in."
Someone could be heard saying from behind Red. Red looked back still upside down and saw Leonard looking over at his direction. Staring down at Red. Red wanted to scream at him but he held his frustration in and continued the pose. Everyone was now moving to a new pose where you placed one leg up straight then placed the hand on the opposite side, up.
Everyone was breezing through it except for Red who struggled at keeping his balance, leaning from side to side and trying to keep his arms and legs straight. Red was finding it hard to stay up until he felt a pair of hands on his leg and hand supporting him up. He looked to his side and saw Leonard crouching there, holding him up.
"You got it now, looked like you could use some help."
Leonard smiled sweetly but Red jumped back, immediately falling over on his butt. Embarrased, Red stood up and glared down at Leonard.
"I don't need your help."
Leonard kept crouching, looking up at Red in surprise.
"I just thought you could use some?"
"Oh i didn't know you do yoga? Why don't you do some then?"
Red asked sarcastically.
"Red, he was only trying to be helpful, stop making problems!"
Judge Peckinpah intruded, whispering to Red, away from Leonard. Leonard stood back up, an innocent smile still plastered on his face.
"Sure, why not."
Leonard answered, with Chuck jumping around excitedly. The judge just sighed as Leonard began to do some poses that seemed almost impossible, turns out he was super flexible and smirked at Red as he calmly changed to each pose, pissing Red off even more.
"Alright you can stop now, you had your fun."
Red crossed his arms unamused, bending down and grabbing his yoga mat back, pulling Leonard off the mat and onto the ground.
"Red! Don't you know your manners!? He's our guest."
The judge screamed as Red selfishly rolled up his mat and looked down at the comfortable Leonard who was just lying on his side with his hand rested on his cheek.
"He's fiiine, look!"
Red argued, pointing to Leonard before he suddenly fell back, holding onto his arm and pretended to have hurt his hand.
"Red look what you have done! You better apologize to Mr Leonard right now."
"Yeah Red, you gotta kiss the boo-boo to make it better."
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Chuck added, peeping from behind Leonard. Red sighed as he watched Leonard attempt to make puppy eyes, raising his hand. Red cringed so much and the last thing he wanted to do was kiss this jerks hand. Everyone looked at him, waiting impatiently. Red still stood his ground and dropped his mat by his feet.
"I am not going to kiss anyones stupid hand, you guys can if you want, i am leaving."
Red announced turning around and walking off. No one chased after him and just watched as he slowly disappeared.
"This is the second time..."
Matilda groaned, rolling up her own yoga mat.
"Well um, back with the tour i guess?"
The guide spoke up, trying to move the subject. This would keep on happening, Red would somehow come across Leonard at least once a day that caused him to be growing more and more suspicious than before. One day Leonard would be writing down notes, when they were innature reserves. Then Red would catch the littler guy roaming around with a weird device that would make a suctioning sound, sucking in supposedly nuts and small fruits and the same was happening with today. Reds class was instructed to paint that day.
"Okay class."
Matilda began, fixing up a painting portrait correctly.
"Today we'll be painting our greatest strengths, things that make you feel good and empowered inside."
For once Red wasn't opposed to painting as he was quite artistic and enjoyed expressing his motions through art. Everyone began to paint, Bomb painting him hugging all his friends, Chuck painting himself with his arms in a flexing positon and Terence painting him and Matilda together, causing her to become flustered as she waddled along.
"Oh Red, you are actually participating in the acitivity?"
Matilda queried shocked as she watched Red continue to make brush strokes.
"Yeah, for once they aren't boring or dumb."
Red replied, continuing to paint.
"Well i am very glad that you are enjoying it."
Matilda finished with a sweet smile, walking past Red and back to her own empty canvas. Red did quite like to paint, it was always so peaceful and quiet. Until Red could hear a familiar voice.
"Ooh so these are your exotic eggs?"
Red twisted his head around and could see Leonard holding onto a precious egg with only one hand. Red, even from a distance could see the egg wobble from side to side, so close to falling off and breaking.
"Hey butt face!"
Red shouted again, accidentally making Matilda break her brush. While Leonard and the judge turned over to meet Red again.
"Those eggs are fragile so it's probably better if you don't hold it like that."
Red suggested, facing away from his canvas. Afterwards Leonard placed the egg back down and faced Red again.
"I shall keep that in mind then heh."
Leonard awkwardly laughed again as the judge was about a few moments away from blowing up at Red.
"Oh those are some cool paintings you made there?"
Leonard said, walking loser to Red and leaning a bit to the side to see his paintings.
"Oh this? Yeah todays topic was to paint our strengths so i painted mine, here is me on my island, oh! And i haven't finished yet because i was painting my house, but funny enough- someone destroyed it, how ironic is that?"
Red asked sarcastically, exaggerating his expressions.
"Oh and also it has been weeks and you still haven't fixed my house and weren't you only coming over for a 'formal greeting'? Not for a fucking holiday?!"
Red interrogated, flashing air quotes around. Leonard just awkwardly looked away, rubbing his neck as the judge was now blowing with fumes. He stormed over towards Red and leaned down forward, right in Reds face.
"You have been nothing but disrespectful with our guests and i cannot stand it no longer!"
Judge Peckinpah shouted, fires burning in his eyes.
"It has been long enough and you haven't improved a bit! I feel it's my duty to enact the worst punishment possible on bird island, you are no longer welcomed in, or near our village."
The judge finalised, standing back up tall.
"Well fine! I already wasn't apart of your stupid fucking anyways, thanks soo much!"
Red added with massive sarcasm, holding back the hurtful feelings as Red trashed his paintings to the ground and storming off out of sight. The judge turned around and walked back to Leonard, whose eyes drooping down as he watched Red walk away.
"I am so sorry for that, he has been quite troublesome to our village. Even before you came."
The judge apologized, excusing his outburst. Leonard just mumbled something as he continued to wonder around with the judge and the class continued to paint like nothing was wrong but Chuck and Bomb felt like something was.
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