Simply put, a BDSM collar is a piece of jewelry with a secret meaning. Traditionally, a BDSM collar is something worn about the neck, like a necklace or a choker. Although other types of jewelry worn other places (such as anklets or bracelets) can also be BDSM collars.

Historically, bondage collars were thick bands of black leather or PVC worn tight to the neck, choker style, with a large D or O ring to the front. They often were secured on with a lock, and were only removed by the dominant party of the relationship.

Today, BDSM collars range from the traditional leather look, to dainty pendant necklaces and simple chains. You’ve probably seen a friend or coworker wearing a discreet bdsm collar without knowing it.

The meaning of the collar is something that is hotly debated in the BDSM community, because of it’s highly personal nature.

For some couples, . Typically, only one party in a BDSM relationship will wear a collar, the Submissive. This is called being “Owned”. This type of collar is only worn to BDSM community events to signify to those looking for a partner that the Sub is off limits and not available for … whatever without permission of the Dom.

. Should the couple chose, the collar becomes a symbol of an agreement between the Dom and Sub and is typically worn 24/7. These types of collars are usually part of a power exchange relationship.

. Yes, a full blown “I now pronounce you Dom and Sub, and partners in life!” These types of collars are usually worn 24/7 and are pretty lavish. They are meant to be as special as a traditional wedding ring. They are usually presented by the Dom to the Sub at a special Collaring Ceremony, which may or may not be part of a traditional wedding ceremony.

For some, . Just like lingerie, only way more kinky. This type of collar is only worn at home, right before the hanky-panky ensues.

And the most controversial meaning of the collar: that you are into the BDSM lifestyle without any particular relationship attachment.

Some people in the BDSM community frown upon this, thinking that it dilutes the ‘sanctity’ of the collar as a symbol of consensual exchange. If you ask me, I say do what makes you happy and forget the rest.