"So how is tour life?" I asked Calum while stabbing at my salad. Alfie somehow convinced me to go on a stupid green diet with him where you can only eat green things, hence the title.

"It's so cool. It's an amazing feeling to walk on that stage and hear all those people screaming for your music. The first time the crowd sang our lyrics, Luke actually cried." Calum teased Luke which earned him an elbow to the chest.

We decided to go out to a little American diner for dinner just like we used to. They had the cutest decorations that I used to fantasize about owning even though I wouldn't know where to put them. We had 7 people to seat, thank god for their extra large booths. I was sat next to Calum who was next to Luke and I had Alfie opposite me with the others spreading out across each side.

"Aw, I think that's sweet." I smiled warmly at Luke who, in return, grinned at me.

"Well it would be if I had cried, but I didn't." He shrugged.

"I bet you did." I laughed, shuffling my fork around the plate.

"I can't believe you came to a diner just to eat a salad." Michael scoffed, changing the subject.

"I can't even eat it all. I can only eat the green peppers and the leaves." I dropped my fork with a frown.

"Babe, it's not that bad," Alfie said while stuffing down his salad.

"I didn't want to go on a diet, Alf," I complained to him.

"It's good for you. You would be the size of a house if you continued to eat all that junk food."

"Excuse me?" I scoffed, getting angry at his comment. "What exactly are you trying to say? Are you trying to tell me I'm fat?"

"No, of course not. It's just-you know what? It doesn't matter. We're here to hang with your friends, let's not do this now."

I looked at my friends who were awkwardly eating their meals in silence. I wanted to leave. The old Gabbie would have run out of there and never looked back but I changed. At least that was what I kept telling myself. To be honest, I didn't like who I had become. Alfie made me do things I would never usually do, like go on weird diets and go see operas that I have no interest in. I didn't like any of that stuff but I did it for him.

"Gabbie?" Ashton waved his hand in front of my face, calling my name as he did so. "Are you alive?"

"Yeah," I mumbled bluntly, fiddling with my hands under the table. Everybody's eyes burned into me like lasers.

"Have you found a job yet, Gab?" Luke asked me. I smiled because he remembered I was working towards getting a job to do with photography.

"Not yet, but I feel like I'm actually ready to start selling some of my own pieces."

"What pieces, babe? I didn't know you do photography." Alfie seemed shocked.

"You were there when I took those photos of the sunset," I said, frowning at him. "I showed you my portfolio." My voice slightly trembled as I spoke. Alfie never remembered anything we did together or important things like my birthday.

"Uh," Alfie scrunched up his nose and looked up for a second like he was really thinking about it. "Nope, doesn't ring any bells."

"Oh! I saw that sunset one you took a few days ago on Instagram. It was beautiful." Calum commented.

"Thanks." I fake smiled at him. I wanted to smile at him like I usually did but there was this horrible itchy feeling at the back of my brain.

--

"We should get going if we want to get a hotel room," Ashton said to the boys.

"Don't be stupid, you're not staying in some grungy hotel." Becky shook her head and took Ash's hand, making me raise an eyebrow at their weird behaviour.

"It's a 5-star hotel, we'll be fine." He laughed.

"I want you guys to stay here. Please." Becky begged them, dragging out the 'e' on please.

"If you really want us to," Ash shrugged while the other boys nodded.

"Ash, you can sleep in my room, if you want," Becky smiled, still holding onto his hand. I opened my mouth to ask what was going on but quickly shut it. Something was clearly going on but they didn't want me to know. Eventually, they would tell me, they always did. I just had to wait for them to be ready enough to tell me. "Two of you can take the guest bedroom and someone can have the couch. It's a pullout so it is a bed. It's new! No one's ever slept on it so, someone can enjoy that." Becky tried to sell the couch to the one unlucky guy.

"I'll take the couch." Luke shrugged, falling down onto it.

"Yes!" Michael shouted, running into the guest bedroom like a child. Calum rolled his eyes but ran after him anyway.

"Well, I'll see you guys in the morning," Becky said, rushing out of the room with Ashton.

"Are you staying over?" I asked Alfie, not really in the mood to talk to him after the diner incident.

"If you want me to." He shrugged without a care in his mind.

"Well, I don't care," I crossed my arms.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked me with a stern look on his face. I rolled my eyes and dragged him into my bedroom so Luke didn't have to hear us argue. "Why are you so angry today?"

"Well, why are you being such a dick today?" I sat on the bed, keeping my arms tightly crossed. He still had his soft eyes and perfect hair but something was off. His posture was wrong. Usually, he was very relaxed but he was stood up straight, stupid to notice- I know.

"Stop taking things so literally! It's like as soon as Luke came back you've completely changed."

"Leave him out of this." I raised my voice, getting angrier by the second. At that moment, I forgot about how all my friends were in the rooms around us. "Luke is an amazing person, okay? He has nothing to do with mine or your behaviour."

"Do you still love him?" Alfie raised his voice just like I had.

"There you go again, assuming I feel things that I don't."

"I'm not assuming anything, Gabbie. I'm asking. Is that a yes?" I slightly screamed, tugging at the roots of my hair out of frustration.

"I can't deal with you anymore, Alfie! You're so controlling. You force me to go on a diet because you think I'm fat-"

"-I do not think that, Gabbie. Don't you dare put words in my mouth." He interrupted me, taking a few steps closer to me.

"I know what you think about me. Whenever you see me eat a crisp or drink a can of coke you stare at me like you think that's going to magically make it disappear. I was fine with my body before you came along." I wanted to cry but for some reason, I couldn't. Instead, I was screaming at the top of my lungs which hurt like hell. My throat felt dry and stretched but I continued to yell because I'm fucking dumb.

"Gabbie, I never meant to make you feel like that. You know that, right?"

"Is that all you've got? So you're not going to tell me that you think I'm a perfect weight or that I look amazing. Just that you didn't mean to make me feel like shit? Well, gee. Thank you so much."

"You're so needy sometimes! Did Luke treat you like a princess or something? Did he tell you all that crap? Because you know he was lying, right? He didn't mean any of it. He just wanted to get in your pants."

"Shut your fucking mouth, you dickhead. Stop dragging him into this. He was the best boyfriend I've ever had-"

"-and the only one."

"I am so done with you, Alfie. You're so predictable. You took me to an opera even though I said on multiple occasions that they bore me half to death. I was thankful you bought me those tickets but you knew how I felt about them. You only care about yourself."

Everything was fuzzy and my chest was tight. Every breath I took felt like I couldn't get enough air like I was underwater. I was never good arguments because I always ended up ranting about something completely off topic.

"You know what your problem is?" He started, narrowing his eyes at me. "You refuse to believe that I'm a decent guy. You talk about him like he's perfect in every single way. You look at him like he's some kind of virgin angel who's never said one cruel word to you. All you see when you look at me is flaws. That's your problem."

My lips slightly parted in shock. He was right, I knew that. I thought no one could ever be as good as Luke but that was only because I wouldn't let them be better. I compared everyone to him. I stood up and walked towards him.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered with a lump bobbing up and down in my throat. Once one tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. "I'm sorry," I repeated. It felt like I owed it to him. I didn't mean to make him feel like that.

--

My eyes slowly opened to see a bright beam of light come into contact with my irises. I hissed and covered my eyes, rolling over. A big lump was next to me which I presumed to be Alfie. A sigh escaped my lips as the memories of last night flashed back into my mind. I shook them off, standing up and walking into the living room after grabbing my phone from my nightstand. I scrolled through my notifications on social media without looking at where I was going. I bumped into someone's chest, making me scream loudly but nothing came out. I looked up to see a very confused Luke. I opened my mouth to speak but only a small squeak came out.

"I think you lost your voice, Gab," Luke said with a concerned look on his face. I pouted and nodded sadly.

"What's going on?" Calum asked, coming out of the kitchen. I pointed at myself then created a mouth with my hand that looked like it was talking before pulling a sad face. "What?"I nudged Luke to explain to Cal what was going on.

"The poor child has lost her voice."

"Oh, from all that shouting last night?" He asked me. I blushed and looked at the floor.

"Sorry for that." I apologised, my voice sounding rough and scratchy. I winced as I spoke from the way it sounded and the way it felt.

"Shh, princess. Don't talk." Luke said, putting a hand on my back. His eyes widened as he realised what he called me. It was his turn to blush. "Sorry...habit."

"It's okay." I coughed, scrunching up my nose. He giggled at me and shook his head.

"Come on, Cal and I will make you better."

"I don't know anything about making people better," Calum admitted. Luke rolled his eyes at him but dragged him into the kitchen with us anyway.

He opened our highest cupboards, searching through them for something. He took out a plastic bottle of honey and looked at our practically empty fruit bowl.

"Do you have any lemons?" I shook my head, why would we have lemons? "Lemonade?" I nodded and walked over to the fridge where we had cans of lemonade. He took one and grabbed a mug from the counter. He poured the lemonade into it before adding a teaspoon of honey then placed it in the microwave for 1 minute.

"What are you making me?" I asked with as much of my voice as I could.

"My grandma used to make me this, it's hot lemon and honey. It's meant to cure a bad throat but it won't do that if you keep talking!" I grinned at him. The microwave beeped making me slightly jump. He leaned over to me, brushing my shoulder slightly. Even the small amount of contact made my body burn up and tingle. It was like when you're freezing and you go into a warm room and you feel like fire.

"Be careful, it's hot." I rolled my eyes but nodded anyway, taking the cup out of his hands. I think I made a big mistake...