First i guess I start off with an I'm sorry. I don't know if I told off this story or not but if I did I'm sorry. A great writer told me to keep posting and hang in there. Thanks PaigeDaniels (=

Now here's the chapter from today and may I say it was eventful!

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Ugh today was the field trip and I was more than scared. We were hiking up a steep mountain. And to top it off, I’ve had a horrible birth-week and ugh going on a steep mountain is not my idea of keeping safe. I sat with Scar in the back. Bella and her cousin (who has fogiven her) behind us. And Kevin and his best friend across from them. I was kinda excited because me and Scar were on the same group as I knew about. Did I mention Bella was in our group and I’m still extremely pissed at her?

Yeah I feel sorry for me too.

“Hey girlfriend our birthday’s in 2 days girlfriend.” Kevin said faking gayness holding up two fingers. “I know I’m excited.” I smiled.

"Okay everyone picture before we get off." The teacher announced as the bus came to a halt. Everyone piled off. They handed us a few squares that we needed. They honesty looked like picture frames. So what would 7th graders do? Use them as picture frames of course! I tried to get my Scar but I ended up holding the box up with Bella and Jessica (girl in my group). They guys next to me shuffled. I was sure Kayden was going to end up by me but at the last minute Kevin pushed his way through. Therefore I was right next to him.

His hand kept brushing my hip as everyone kept pushing us. I tried to stay focused but it sure was hard! His hand would brush my waist, go up but then go down, land on my thigh, and move back to my waist again. Over and over. "Smile!" the teacher yelled. We all smiled. Then we filed into seperate groups. "One more!" She announced. We moaned and went back to our spots.

For sure this time I wasn't going to be by him.

Man I'm bad at this predicting thing! I thought as he took his spot by me again. Once again his hand brushed against my waist for one more picture. Once we were don't I looked at Scar and smiled.

"I was standing next to him. I want that picture!" I exclaimed. She laughed and tuned in the teacher.

Once we got up there we were sitting around waiting for our teacher to find the right coordinates of the GPS. No way we were going to go up and down hill all morning long.

“Hey Scar did I tell you my husband’s latest update from you know who?” I asked referring to Jade. Scar only knew now that me and Kevin were officially ‘unaware’ of each others feelings.

“Who’s your husband?” Bella asked.

“No one.” I answered. I don’t trust her! Have you ever had that friend who did stuff to you just so you can 'feel her pain' because you're mad at her? Yeah Bella's one of those people. (A/N: sorry if Bella gives you whiplash. She does to me too!)

“Scar?” She asked.

Oh shut up you hate Scar! You hated her and now that you know her secret you like her. You also only like her because she broke up with her boyfriend. Oh and you're also using Scar to get back at me.

And trust me its working.

“I’m not allowed to say.” she shrugged.

“Is it Kelly?” She asked. I used to like him but no.

“No.” I shook my head.

“Is it Kevin?” “What ew no dude he’s like my worst enemy!” I said trying to keep my voice level and act cool like i did the last. “Mmm hmm yep its Kevin.” Ugh see why she just gets under your skin?

“Its not Kevin!” I yelled.

“I think it is.” “Yeah you think. that’s where you’re wrong your thoughts are not the truth.” I yelled at her. Surprisingly our teacher let us be.

“Dude everyone knows.” That’s all it takes for me to launch at her face and attack her.

But I don’t- sadly.

“Well that’s stupid because its not him.” “Dude everyone knows you like Kevin.” Jessica added. Thank you Bella. Then everyone else in our group started joining in. “Thank you Bella” I thought. Stupid bitch. This is only the start. Soon everyone will know then Kevin will then he'll make me feel like I'm an unloved nerd and- And this is why I'm scared to fall for him. Sad part is I already am.

After 4 hours of collecting data we were done. Thank God because it was easy because of the last summers forest fire. So it was like measure, write, and repeat. When we were going down the hill and I mean down hill! As in the slope was like this ( / ) literally. So me and Heather (a girl in my group) started carefully walking sideways. Well the gravel slipped under our feet and we started walking really fast and ended up running downhill. I tried to stop but I couldn’t. Heather tumbled and I tried to catch her. But I ended up tumbling myself. We rolled down the hill and stopped at flat-ish land. I got up laughing and so did Heather. Soon she tried to get up and she couldn’t move her knee and she started crying. I could just feel a bruise forming so the teacher sent me to eat lunch with everyone else.

After a hard walk because my top shin hurt, we ate. I barley did.

After we partially ate we went back to school. My leg started hurting even more. I turned around to see Bella hanging on Kevin’s arm. My blood boiled. She was laughing and looking like she was having the time of her life. Then she sat in her seat and he turned around. She stole his hat. I turned around.

I’ve seen enough. Soon she was back to playing with Kevin and his best friend.

After a while I hear everyone talking about what happened. (A/N; I believe he said “hey what happened?”) I said “I just fell down a hill and bruised my leg.”

“Yeah she was crying more than Heather.” Bella said. I didn’t notice until Kevin repeated her. “You cried more than Heather?” He laughed. You freakin ______!!

“What no I never cried! I was laughing!” I defended turning around to face Bella. Jade offered to tell her off earlier this week so now I’m taking that offer! Stupid bitch is just trying to make me miserable. Why do other people's pain bring other people joy I have no idea.

This is what i was afraid of. I'm afraid I'll fall to hard. I'm afraid I'm already there. And most of all if I am falling for him- that only makes it easier to break me. And once something's broken its never perfect again.

Once I got to school I had to go home beacase my pain was getting worse and worse. The nurse was laughing because she compared my fall with a cartoon. Thanks that totally make me feel better. We googled it and I’m either just brusied and sore or I fractured or pulled something.

Great! Mom made me an appointment so I have to skip half of school. Great the day before my birthday is the day I miss half of it! Well its not all that bad.

I’m going but I have to be picked up because of testing. So my legs (yes the pain has spread to both) hurt like hell now. Peachy

After talking to my friends and Bella's ex-friends we plan to tell her off at lunch. For making people misrable, for us being there for her (the dance) but her never being there for us, and for just being plain annoying to us all. She never hangs out with us anymore and when she does all she does is complain about how a freshman broke her heart exc. We warned her but people never listen.

This is another example of why I'm scared. Its like being put on a giant mountain of love. You stay you're happy. But the hard part is getting up there.

You see, ~I'm not afraid of heights; I'm afraid to fall~

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Now you know what my mind and heart keep thinking and saying. I am afraid to fall. But that's the scary thing. Once you're up, you're afraid to be dropped down. I'm really emotional with this chapter...I guess because I keep adding more and more personal Author's Notes. Ha, anyways I hope you like the story and sorry for my outburst earlier...

Never Give Up,

Shyanne