"How?" The voice has a questionable tone to it, strangely calm but frightening at the same time. One simple word that sent anxiety throughout the other's veins, making the brain ache with confusion. The eyes met with the other's eyes, locked in a gaze. Five feet apart, with a table in between them and in the middle haunted them, causing the headaches and confusion. The yellow sheets laid next to the ten positive pregnancy tests.

"A-are you going to keep it or are you..." Chris let the sentence hang in the air, wanting to take it back but he couldn't, that's not how life works. Karl looked up at him then looked away, breathing deeply and leaning his palms against the table.

"I'm going to give it up for adoption." Chris nodded and scratched the back of neck, then ruffling his hair up then clicked his tongue. The boy flicked, not with fear but with annoyance.

"It's your choice, don't feel like you are being- I made that choice out of free will, not because I felt like I was being pressure." Chris nodded, looking away. Karl's gruff tone of voice startled Chris as he never heard that side of him before.

"I'm sorry, it's just I didn't expect it." Karl's face immediately dropped as shame started to fill him up at how he reacted at him. Tears welled up in his eyes and he quickly looked away, looking up so the tears wouldn't fall.

"I'm sorry." His voice cracked, causing Chris to look at him. He cocked his head and sighed quietly, walking over to him and wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him in. Karl snapped his head towards him and gasped, their faces inches from each other. The hands fit his curves perfectly and it was comforting. Tears ran down his cheeks and he put his face into the crook of neck, letting out his cries. A hand traveled to the back of his head back and he cradled it in his hand.

"It's going to be alright." He cooed, rubbing the back of the crying boy. He kissed his head and swayed their bodies together, looking up as tears flooded his eyes.

Karl made the right decision, he knew. The baby needed loving parents who would devote all their time and energy to caring them which they couldn't. With both of them in their 20's and their careers relying on them heavily, they would be basically neglecting them the love they need. Tears escaped from his eyes, knowing how hard it was to give up a baby.

When the boy calmed down, he took his head out of his neck and smiled sadly. He kissed his lips and smiled back, moving his hands to his forearms and shook them.

"You made the right decision. Now, let's go lay down and take care of yourself. You need it." Karl nodded and put his hands into Chris's, letting him take him to their bedroom.

He led him to the bed and gently pushed him down, going over to the dresser and grabbing pj for him. He handed them to Karl and nodded.

"Stop spoiling me. I can do things on my own." His tone of voice was agitated but his face held a smile, making him raise an eyebrow. Karl got up and got changed in front of him, making Chris look at his body. He trained his eyes on his body as he changed, putting on a shirt when he caught Chris's stare. He turned away and walked out the room, feeling ashamed. Chris snapped out of his daydream and followed him, catching up with him and wrapping an arm around his waist. He turned around fast and put his hands on his chest, pushing him away.

"Chris, just please leave me alone." He snapped, walking away angrily. Chris was left shook, watching his angry boyfriend walk away, hearing the quiet sobs coming from the boy as he walk away. He pursed his lips and leaned against the wall, flossing his eyes and sighing.

"Frick man." He mumbled, opening his eyes and staring at the wall in front of him, letting what just happened play through his mind like a movie.

After a while, he pushed himself off the wall and retreated to their room and laid down on the bed, waiting for his boyfriend to come back. He looked at the clock after a while and noticed that it had been an hour since he left. He sat up and decided to go find him, which wouldn't take him too long as their house was pretty small. He got off the bed and walked around the house quietly, straining his ears to hear any quiet sobs.

He heard a hiccup come from the backyard and he turned his gaze over to the back door. He saw Karl sitting in one of the patio chairs, staring at the pitch black. He walked to the sliding glass door and opened it as quietly as he could, stepping out and closing the door. He walked over to him and sat down in one of the other chairs. They stayed quiet, as if Karl didn't noticed his presence.

"I'm sorry." Karl mumbled after a couple seconds, taking his hand away from his mouth. Chris stared out into the dark and sighed.

"It's not your fault, you have these crazy hormones and you got throw into a situation you weren't prepared for." Chris told him, stealing a glance to look over at him before he looked back at the darkness again.

"Is anyone really prepared?" The question hung heavily in the air, letting Chris wonder. Yeah, he was right. No one is really prepared to carry a child, no matter how much experience you have.

They sat in quiet silence, observing the dark night. They wanted to talk but they didn't make efforts to talk, leaving them to their own thoughts. What were they going do? They didn't have a clue.

__________

In the emergency room nine months later, Karl was alone. This, creature as in Karl's words, driven them apart as the months wore on. Fight after fight, breakup after every breakup. Their relationship got so toxic and stressful to the point it felt like they were both walking on thin ice.

Chris decided he didn't want that kind of relationship and moved out to go live with Jimmy. They had silently agreed to not talk to each other as their hearts broke into pieces every day without the presence of each other. It didn't affect their work at all; Karl was on maternity leave when he moved out.

The intense contractions had him cursing the air with tears running down his cheeks; his water hasn't broken yet and he was already on his eighth hour of labor. He wanted someone, anyone to hold him. Chris and him weren't talking but they would have to start again when he returned.

He decided to call him but then decided not to. What if he hated him for how he treated him? Always yelling at him then crying when he raised his voice at him, demanding comfort when he sleeping, making him run around for every craving he had. Chris hated him, he knew but he just wanted someone to comfort him.

He heard a knock then the door opened. He looked up, hoping it was someone he knew that came to comfort him but it was just the doctor who was watching over his labor.

"Hi Mr. Jacobs. Let's check your dilation and heart rate for both you and the baby, shall we?" He nodded and leaned back, taking his arms that he wrapped around his bump, to try and get comfort from, away. She lifted up his legs and while she checked, his back arched a painful angle and a whimper left his lips. She patted his leg and eased him down, rubbing his knee and walking over to the machines that monitored the baby's and his heart rate.

"Good good, Mr. Jacobs. You are moving at a smooth rate so far and since you are seven centimeters dilated, you should be able to give birth in a couple hours if there are no complications." She smiled sweetly at him and walked towards him, handing him a cup with more pain medication. He gladly accepted and placed them in his mouth, looking around for something to drink.

"Here you go." He accepted the water cup and took a sip from it, washing down the medicine. Relaxing against the bed, he sighed and placed the cup onto the side table next to him.

"Anything else I can help you with?" He hummed and shook his head no, looking up at her. She nodded and started to walk towards the door of the room, opening up the door and turning around to face him.

"I'll see you in about an hour to check up on you."

He nodded and with that, she closed the door. Karl sighed and rubbed his face, loneliness getting the better of him. He grabbed his phone and dialed Chris's number without thinking, putting it up by his ear and waited for a voice.

"Hello?" The words soothed him and his nerves down, relief washing over him.

"Chris." His voice was quiet, barely audible. "I'm in the hospital, room 348. Please come here, please." He heard shuffling on the other side, keys jingling and a door opening. He stared at a wall, waiting for the soothing voice again.

"Alright, I'm coming." Karl smiled and relaxed against the bed. He looked over at the heart monitor and watched the little jumps on the line.

"I'm going to hang up so I can drive." Karl nodded and heard the soft beep of the call ending. He lowered the phone and put it by his side. He tore his eyes away from the monitor and waited for Chris.

The soft opening of the door snapped him out of thoughts, watching the man cover the room in two strides. He stood next to the Karl and grabbed his hand, smiling and rubbing his thumb along the back of his hand.

"Hey bud." He leaned forward and kissed his forehead, pulling out a chair for him to sit down. "How you feel?"

"Tired and bored. This creature doesn't want to get out of my body. I've been in labor for twelve hours now, it's ridiculous." Chris nodded, looking at the heart monitor before back at Karl. He felt bad, he truly did. From the moment he read the words on those papers and saw the ten positive signs on ten different tests, guilt swam inside him. Screaming matches to tears running down his cheeks, complains about pain or hungry to seeing the size of the creature he was carrying on the monitor when they went to see a ultrasound, he felt guilty.

"Maybe you'll get to deliver it soon. How far dilated are you?" A hum came from Karl as he squeezed the hand intertwined with his, thinking back to the nurse's words.

"Seven when she last checked. I may have opened up but I don't know." Chris nodded, squeezing back. Silence blanketed them again, words and questions needing to be said but no heart to say it. Karl looked away from Chris, regret stinging at his heart. How was he going to tell Chris that the reason he was giving up the baby was because-

"Karl, I need to ask you something." Every thought that was rushing through his head halted, the words making his body freeze. His stomach churned with anxiety, wondering what he could possibly ask him. He turned his head towards him, trying to keep it nice and calm. He shots his chance....

"Yes." And he misses it. His voice came out squeaky and unnatural, the opposite of nice and calm. But it was only one word, maybe Chris wouldn't notice it.

"It's nothing bad, Karl. It's just a thought." Karl nodded, waiting for him to finish. "Did you pick parents for the baby?" He panicked for no reason, he thought. Of course he did, right?

"Yeah, I did. I looked through all the books of the tamiles and picked the ones that seem the nicest." Chris nodded, his shoulders relaxed a little. Karl stared at him, trying to catch his eye but he was looking everywhere else but him. He had more questions to ask him, he knew. Why don't he ask some of his own questions too?

"Chris, when I first made the decision to give them up for adoption, did you want to keep them?" Chris looked at him for two seconds and looked away, words trying to form sentences for him to speak on his mind.

"No, not really. I mean, we're only in our twenties and if this caused our relationship to go downhill, I think we should skip the family part." Karl nodded, understanding his words completely. He knew he wasn't ready for children and never would be. He wanted to live his life freely, like an adult than an adult with kids.

"I understand. This creature deserve a better life than what we can provide." Peace was agreed upon between them again silently, the question of their relationship being pushed aside.

The minutes ticked away, becoming hours before the signal to start to the birth was given. To help release pain from his back, Karl was on his hands and knees to deliver the baby. Chris was there to comfort Karl in any way needed, which was to hold him straight and keep him conscience. The baby was turned at a painful angle, making the birth harder.

Karl screamed, everything feeling like it was on fire and he was going to tear into two. He felt the nurse's hands move around the baby, feeling another set of hands knead his back.

"Relax, Karl." He heard Chris whisper but he didn't care. How could he relax when a baby was going to tear him into two? He grunted and pushed down again, squeezing the plastic railing tight. Chris's warm hands usually comforted him but now, he wished he would just leave him alone. When the contraction passed, he started to cry from the pain. The pain medication the nurse was giving him wore off and he wasn't able to have more as it could lead to an accidental overdose.

"Just get off me!" Karl snapped at Chris, wanting to be left alone. The hands left his back, leaving the cold air to nibble at his bare back. He still felt the nurse's hands on his lower region but he was fine with her, at least she could help deliver the creature he didn't want.

"Okay, Mr. Jacobs. I need two more big pushes and they will be out." Karl nodded just as a contraction swept over him, pushing hard and long to the point stars danced in front of his blacken vision.

"Rest!" He took his chin off his chest, sweat dripping down face and onto the bedsheets. A groan escaped from his lips, so fed up with the process. He pushed down for the last time and felt the baby exit his body, relief washing over him. The cries pierced his ear, so loud and annoying it made the anger boil inside him. He put his hands over his ears to block the sound, wondering why parents say the cries were music or their ears. He would have rather listen to a middle school band trying to play Mary Had a Little Lamb than listen to a baby cry.

Hands were placed onto his hips and he jerked away, hands still covering his ears. They were ripped off his ears and he braced himself for the wails but all he heard was silence. He opened his eyes and lifted his head up a little, looking at Chris.

"The nurse took them away. I named them Antonio, if that's alright?" Karl nodded, not really caring. He turned over a little and reached out for Chris, clinging onto him. He felt hands wrap around him and his head being pressed into his chest, a low hum soothing his ears.

"I'm sorry for how I acted." Tears built up an almost glass like wall over his eyes, threatening to break if he blinked. Chris hummed and kissed the top of his head, not really caring.

"Don't apologize, I knew that was going to happen. So our relationship, we're still boyfriend and boyfriend right?" He moved his head to where he could look at him, a smile tugging on the sides of his lips. He broke down, feeling happy that he didn't drop him just because of deciding to give up the baby. He hugged him tight, feeling lips press up against his forehead. Tears created streams down his his cheeks, some falling onto his lips and making him taste the saltiness of the wet tears.

"No kids right?" Karl nodded, squeezing Chris one more time before letting go, laying on his back on the bed. He patted the space next to him, wanting Chris next to him. A smile played onto his lips as followed, sitting down next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Karl cuddled into his side, placing a hand onto his not so flat stomach. Chris noticed and rubbed his shoulder.

"It's going to pass, don't worry. After a week, the pain will be gone and so would that bump too." Karl nodded, believing him. A comforting silence blanketed between them, nothing left to say but thoughts swarmed their heads. They thought the same thing, of how life would've been if they had kept Antonio. It would be different, probably making the structure of the home and relationships rocky. They knew they made the best decision they could, to give up the baby so hopefully they could have the best life they truly need, which was something they couldn't do.