taehyung had heard snippets of the gossip, seen a bit of it with his own eyes yet he wondered what else had gone down in jungkook's world that had knocked him so far off the pedestal that people questioned if he could ever climb back up.

once the house was spotless, the errands for the day done, and lunch cooking on the stove tae decided that he had to know. had to do his own research.

he settled on the couch, moving the pink blanket that belonged to junkook's daughter to the other side in fear that he might interfere with the comfort it seemed to provide before pulling up an article on his phone.

and another. and another.

and another.

it seemed impossible that so much information on one person could exist, the web filled to the brim with nothing but jeon jungkook this and jeon jungkook that. in the midst were a flurry of unflattering pictures and snips of an apparent text conversation between him and his assistant turned lover, jimin.

tae was so deep he hadn't even heard the younger sneak in, his eyes peering over the man's shoulder as he studied what was being read. on one hand jungkook wanted to scream, kick him out, demand for all the articles to be removed at once but on the other, he wanted to open up. to set the record straight.

jungkook leaned down until his lips were almost on the tip of tae's ear, warm breath circulating around the small space between them as he whispered, "what do you want to know?"

the older seemed horrified that he had been caught in the act, "um..." he seemed to shake in a place, a sunflower stalk in a tornado with nowhere to go.

"you can ask. i won't get mad..." the younger fell onto the couch next to tae and that's when the scent hit.

the tangy smell of vodka on his lips, the entire sway of his aura; jungkook was clearly intoxicated. he seemed amused despite, rosy cheeks and a certain playfulness that he never displayed sober. tae wondered how one person could have so many personalities hidden inside. and of them, which one was the real jungkook.

the older spoke barely above a whisper, nervous under the drunken gaze of the other, "is it true?"

"is what true?" he refused to make this easy, desperate to know all that tae did. longing to make this a game of cat and mouse.

"all of it!" tae seemed to raise his voice a bit, finding his footing in the moment, "did you really get out of jail time with money? did you cheat on your wife with jimin? do you really like men?"

jungkook's nose twitched at that, his resemblance to a small baby bunny even more prominent as he pondered the questions asked, "taehyung, are you accusing me of being a sinner?" something flickered in those eyes, the once dull glow in each iris had turned red.

"i- i- didn't mean it like that! i don't look at it like that because i- i mean namjoon likes men and that's-,"

jungkook cut him off, his hand wrapping around the older's wrist just a tad to tight for comfort, "do you want to leave tae? leave here and never come back. never see me again?"

a hint of sadness ran over his expression at the idea of never seeing him again, "jungkook. quit putting words in my mouth!"

"then say something!" the younger raised his voice, loud and demanding, he was desperate to be reaffirmed that he wasn't as terrible as he felt, that he could be redeemed in the eyes of a stranger.

"what do you want me to say?" tears stung the edge of tae's eyes as he wondered how lonely the man in front of him felt. how desperate he was for normalcy when he had harbored feelings for something once thought of as taboo. having to keep it from the world instead of just people close to him, his burden was enormous. greater than any regular person could have ever held.

"tell me you wanna stay. that you don't think i'm a monster or a bad person- that you understand just a bit of why i did what i did." his voice was laced with distress.

"i get it. i get it more than you even know!" tae attempted to tug his wrist away from the younger but no avail, jungkook was strong.

really strong.

"elaborate." his breath hitched, a broken sob on the cusp, "i need to know that it's not just me, that i'm not crazy! that my daughter can still be proud and still love me. that i'm not some monster!"

taehyung took both his cheeks, wrist finally free, his large fingers pushing strands of raven hair around as he begged jungkook to look at him. stay with him, "you're not a monster. you're not crazy. you're not a sinner!"

the younger seemed to collapse at that, a series of hiccups mimicking sobs as he gripped onto the warmth that oozed from the man's body. tae was so warm, so cozy, with thin arms that were unusually strong as they rocked him back and forth.

jungkook wanted to stay like this forever.

"and it's not just you..." the older continued, his hand tracing jungkook's back up and down, taking in each vertebra and crease, allowing it to imprint his memory, "it's me too..."

the younger bit the inside of his cheek, hard, as he tried to come up with the words to say. all that haunted his thoughts was the question of what taehyung's lips on his would feel like- were they as soft as they looked? was he dominant, submissive- he seemed so quiet and kind but, those were always the ones to watch for.

but then jungkook wondered-

would he betray him in the same way jimin had, if jungkook ever dared start something with him? would he leak it to the press, keep the money to himself? would he break every bit of trust for something so trivial?

jungkook pulled away, "i'm going to go lay down. you can go home for the day."

he needed time to let his thoughts take over so that maybe, he could erase them entirely.