free time suddenly felt odd and where tae had once wished for it, he had since replaced with loathing of it. when he was home, alone, waiting for jin to return or for his show to premiere a new episode, he felt uncharacteristically bored.

his time had no longer been his own, replaced with making sure that jungkook was taken care of and tae liked it that way- no matter how pathetic it sounded.

"taehyung, we're home!" jin called from the front door, the crinkling of a bag in hand before the sudden thud onto the counter.

"who is we?" the younger called back, too lazy to stand up and check.

"me!" namjoon poked his head into the living room where taehyung was laying on the floor, counting the tiles on the ceiling to verify that the same amount was there as yesterday.

he waved, "how have you been?"

the grape-haired boy fell onto the couch, "really, really busy. that's actually why i wanted to come over tonight- wanted to see if you'd help me?"

"with?"

"communications stuff. responding to e-mail, running through voicemails- it's all getting a bit overwhelming for the amount of time i have in a day!" namjoon rubbed his palms together, conjuring up something convincing to say, "it would be a big help plus i know you're still saving to get a place for yourself- can't be much fun living with jin."

"of course. i'd like that!" taehyung had tried to hide his eagerness, failing miserably as a boxy smile broke out on his face.

"great! i'll get you all set up after dinner but for now, let's enjoy jin's beautiful cooking."

"yah! you know i just got takeout." jin rolled his eyes placing three plates onto the table, setting containers in the middle, "not all of us get to go on glamorous lunches and watch dance practices all day."

"i do so much more than that!" namjoon attempted to defend himself, sliding himself into the table and picking up a giant pile of noodles from one of the boxes.

taehyung listened while they spoke back and forth, a bit of bickering, an abundance of flirting- the two were sickening in the sweetest way.

despite, all he could think of was asking how jungkook was. he needed to know if he was feeling okay, was he eating? was he still working out? did he still have those beautiful, chiseled abs that tae loved to bury his face into?

he had to wait patiently for the right moment to bring it up but, namjoon wasn't naive. he could sense the question on the tip of taehyung's tongue like a bomb waiting to go off, "he's fine tae. he's sick, of course, but they have him on fluids and eating what and when he can. it's a really good place!"

"can i visit him?" the younger hadn't even realized he said the words, they just flung, from a separate being on the inside of him.

"when the time is right. we can all go together!" namjoon smiled sweetly at the thought of visiting his best friend, his baby, the one he always cared for- he hated that he couldn't protect him always, that he hadn't but, he knew guilt had to be let go.

"what about his daughter? does she get to see him?" taehyung knew how much jiwoo meant to him, how she was the reason for everything he did, every breath he took.

the boy with purple hair raised a brow, mostly at jin but taehyung wasn't naive to silent communication queues between the two of them, "how close are you two exactly?"

"just friends."

it wasn't exactly a lie and jin had to give props for the quick thinking.

"i just know that he'll be devastated if he has to go thirty days without her! if it's a timing issue or if his wife- ex- if jennie, doesn't want to bring her, i'm more than willing."

"i'll let you know when i touch base with kook's lawyer in regards to custody while in treatment; i appreciate the offer though and i know jungkook would too. if he was here!" a blanket of sadness casted over joon's features as he eyed up the vacant spot across the table and wondered what if would be like if the younger was just there. enjoying dinner with them.

it seemed too good to be true. a distant dream.

jin watched as forks drop, plates pushed the center, and he was quick to start scooping dishes up so he could go to bed at a reasonable time. taehyung attempted to help but the older brushed him away, told him to pay attention namjoon so that he didn't break anything.

"wanna talk about the work?" tae waltzed from the kitchen to where namjoon was sitting, his laptop looped under his arm.

"wow! you're prepared." the older grabbed the computer from tae, opening it up and pulling up a few different sites that he used to verify media coverage, to schedule all sorts of things for various groups, and of course e-mail where a majority of the desired promotions came in, "i'll text you all the passwords but, this is really everything you need!"

joon pointed through everything, the comment monitoring, the stock e-mail for the public relations team, of course the constant surveillance of what was being reported. his eyes scanned today's articles that had jungkook in the title, a specific one catching his eye.

"is that-,"

namjoon leaned forward, squinting a bit to get a better look, "hey! that's jennie. i didn't know she was visiting." on one hand he felt a bit offended that he hadn't been kept in the loop, on the other he was just surprised, "and no jiwoo with her?"

"wh- is the title true?" taehyung could only point, the words reading that jungkook's wife postponed divorce hearing and visited him in rehab. was there a chance at reconciliation? comments listed below the article were a pool of ship names, a mound of bad talking jungkook for what he had done, and the occasional thirst trap which created a wave of rage in tae's belly.

"let me know if anyone reaches out for comment on jennie and jungkook continuing their relationship. i'll have to prep for doom with that one!" his eyes trailed over his phone, obviously working on a completely separate bundle of things, the whole entire incident with kook forgotten within a moment.

taehyung wished he could do the same, the picture of jennie, the proposition of their relationship surviving- it was all too much. maybe he had been crazy to think for a second that anything beyond a friendship with benefits would come between him and jungkook. maybe he should continue to explore options away from home. another new world, another fresh start.

"thanks for getting this all set up!" tae spoke, the waiver in his voice going unnoticed as he focused on his phone instead of his computer, searching for a few contacts in specific.

he sent off a text to his network, begging for an internship or a fellowship that was anywhere but here. even a lead would be better than nothing. even grading intro to music student's homework would be better than the gnawing feeling and claws that ripped down every inch of his stomach as he wondered why he couldn't just find somebody who was easy.

who wouldn't leave him.

who wasn't gone before anything even started.

he had been silly and lust sick, drawn by infatuation instead of rationality. tae promised to no one in particular that if given another opportunity, he'd use it to focus on his craft instead of on a relationship since clearly the latter wasn't getting him anywhere.