For the rest of the day, all I can focus on is that I have to face Felix when classes come to an end. It's the last thing I want to do, and I much rather drown my sorrows in a tube of ice cream at home but instead I have to put on a fake smile and act like I want to be here.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Robyn asks as she walks next to me in her workout clothes for cheer practice. "I can walk out there and tell Coach you're sick."

I smile at the effort but shake my head. "I'll be okay, Robby. Seriously. I can handle this and I don't really get a choice in weather I do this or not. Miss. Arthur needs these photos by tomorrow."

"Okay, well, I'll be on the field with the girls so if you need me to come and kick his ass," she grins. "You know where to find me."

I nod and stop in the corridor, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. "You're the best, Robyn."

Even when I have doubts about my abilities, or struggle to find strength in hard situations I know I will always have Robyn and Isla to make things a little better. They are always there to brighten my mood, whenever I'm in need of my guardian angels. The two best friends I could ever ask for. My strength when I can't be strong.

"I try," she laughs. "Look, Vee, I know that this year has been really tough for you. Between your parents and now all this stuff with Felix, but you deserve the best and things always find a way of working themselves out. Even if it doesn't seem like they will."

"Yeah, I know," I sigh. "It just really doesn't feel like it right now."

"Yeah, I kind of thought so but that doesn't mean it'll always feel like that," she assures. "And I know what I said about Felix, but maybe it'd be better if you just hear him out."

"Hear him out? Says the person that just asked if I wanted her to kick his ass?" I laugh, though I know she's probably right. Even if she is, that doesn't mean I'm going to. My stubbornness getting in the way.

"I'm just saying it'll take some of the stress off your shoulders," she holds her hands up in defence. "You don't have to. You can ignore him the rest of the year. I'm just saying, he seemed to really like you and maybe it was just one of those things."

"I'm sure," I nod.

"Vee, don't be mad," she frowns as she follows me out into the stands, built into the building. "I'm just saying there's two sides to every story."

"And apparently two opinions," I laugh. "Look, I get where you're coming from but I've already got too much on my plate and I'm not about to add Felix Montgomery to it."

"You were willing to until he said something stupid."

"Can I have the Robyn that wanted to kick his ass back?" I ask with a small smile. "You're right. I was going to but, it was stupid and hearing him talk about me like that was my way out. It cleared my head and I've come to realize I don't need a boyfriend right now."

"Okay, okay," she nods. "I've got to get to practice. Good luck with the photos and remember if you need me-."

"I know where to find you," I finish for her. "Thank you."

Letting out a deep breath, I stop at the end of the bleachers and look out over the football field. Maybe Robyn's right and I should hear Felix out. I didn't really give him the opportunity to explain himself but I'm not sure if I should listen to him or not. There's still a part of me disappointed that he isn't who I thought he was, but then again, maybe I had set my standards too high. It's not that he disappointed who I thought he was, but rather who I wanted him to be.

Deciding to ignore the urge to listen to him, I focus on my anger and adjust the brown leather camera holsters crisscrossed over my body. Allowing the two cameras with different size lenses to hang around my waist. The digital cameras resting against my hips as I walk. Moving the straps on my shoulders, I pull my long hair around my shoulders before adjusting the yellow ribbon holding half of it back. I pick the lens caps off the front, tucking them into the back pocket of my distressed denim jeans. My head in the clouds as I walked down the stairs and onto the green turf.

As I walk to the other side of the field where the team and coach are in full equipment, I can't help but hold my breath with my stomach in knots. My ears lingering on the laughs coming from Felix's friends mouth as I walk up, and then when I meet his gaze everything goes cold. The world frozen as I think about what I'm possibly missing out on by being mad at him.

"Coach Davidson?" I say, turning my head and forcing myself to look away of Felix.

I need to do this quickly so I can get far, far away from this field. From him.

"Hey Alexander," he turns around at the sound of my voice, using the same nickname for me that he uses for my three brothers. "The boys are all ready for you. Just tell me where you need them."

"I'm thinking that we could do a few different things, if that's alright," I explain. "Instead of just doing like the typical team photo, maybe we could try a few of their plays and I can shoot them that way?"

"Sounds good," he nods and calls the team over to direct them while I nervously wait at the sidelines for them to start.

I hold my lips together tightly when Felix walks over to the bench where I stand, ignoring everything Coach Davidson is saying. Even as he walks over, I feel breathless. Like he's stolen the air around me.

"Can we talk?" He asks.

"No," I shake my head.

"Nicks, c'mon," he frowns. "Please?"

"Montgomery! On the field," Coach shouts before I get the chance to argue with him.

I meet Felix's eyes for a second, biting down on my bottom lip before dropping my sight to the top of my shoes. A sigh falls from his lips as he puts his helmet on and heads onto the field. Thankfully for the distract, I climb up on the metal warm-up bench and grab my camera with the long lens. Lining up a few shots, I snap a few before doing a group shot.

By the time I have all my shots for the team, the distance of being in a group is no longer able to keep Felix and me apart. I don't have a choice anymore. I have to be alone with him and he can make it very difficult for me to get my job done if he tries to get me to talk with him. It's leaving me with only one option – to pray and hope this goes a smoothly as it can.

"Where do you want to do this?" I ask, scrolling through the library on my camera to assure I have everything I need for the team. I'm truly just trying to use everything I can to avoid looking at him, knowing I'll melt if I meet his eyes for too long.

"You can decide," he offers and I'm not sure if he's trying to extend a branch in order to get me to forgive him, or if just truly doesn't care. "We could stay on the field, or go up in the bleachers or locker room."

"Natural light is better," I tell him before I start walking towards the end of the field where the goal post is.

"Stevie, are you ever going to talk to me again?" He asks, following after me.

"Not if I have anything to do with it," I tell him, my tone colder than I mean it to be. "Can we just get this over with please?"

"Can we just talk?" He shoots back.

"Felix."

"I said something stupid, Nicks," he frowns. "Have you never said something you instantly regretted?"

"Yeah, that's the thing, Felix," I sigh. "I really don't think you would have regretted it if I hadn't heard you."

"I did," he groans. "I regret letting my friends influence me into someone I'm not."

"Kneel down here," I point to the grass, ignoring what he said.

If he keeps talking, I know I'll forgive him because at the end of the day. They are just words and they only hold power if I let them. The truth is, I don't care what they were talking about. It's not the first time, it won't be the last and I've heard worse. What hurt is who they came from. Someone I thought maybe I could trust.

It's Felix that hurt me. Not what he said.

"I know what I said was wrong. I never should have said it. I never should have let Gavin talk about you that way and I can promise it's never going to happen again," Felix pleads. "I hate that I hurt you, Stevie. I hate that I let myself be the guy that talks about woman that way."

"Felix, will you please just be quiet so I can get this done?" I beg.

"Will you forgive me?"

"I'd have to care to forgive you," I exhale softly. "And...I don't really care anymore."

"You don't mean that."

"Except, I do," I get down to my knees to shoot him. "Can you rest your helmet on your knee, please?"

"Stevie, I'm not done with you yet," Felix says as he rests the black helmet on his leg, crossing his forearm over it.

His words freeze my thoughts as I look up, meeting his eyes. My chest tightening with my words as my parents came into thought. The story of how they came together cluttering my thoughts and it takes all my will to ignore my body reacting to him, and bring my camera up to look through the viewfinder.

"We need to get this done."

Felix finally gets the message and just smiles down the barrel of my camera. I try not to get lost in his smile, or the deep color of his eyes as I study him through the finder. I'm trying to focus on what needs to get done, but it's hard when I have this gorgeous man in front of me and a lot of things unsaid. It's for the best, to move on from each other before things get serious but every bone in my body is aching for him.

"Okay...I think that's it," I tell him after the final photo, turning the camera off before letting it rest back around my hip. "You can get back to practice."

"Okay," he nods and a part of me is hoping he'd fight it more, but it makes sense that he's giving up when I keep pushing him to. I thought it was what I wanted, but I'm realizing it may not be the truth.

We aren't done yet.

I want him to fight for me.

And I don't know what to do about it.

"I'll see you around, I guess," he says, pushing away from the yellow goal post.

"Yeah," I swallow and fiddle with the pendant on my necklace. "I guess so."

I wait a second longer than I should, hoping he'll say something more. That he'll try to plead his case one more time, but he already did. He told me he was sorry and I guess that's all there is to it. It doesn't feel good enough and I wonder how it's possible to be angry with someone and still want them this badly.

When he makes no move to stop me from leaving, I keep walking and let out a sigh of defeat. I head for the school, ready to forget today even happened when my heart stops. The sound of my name leaving his lips and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to conceal my excitement.

We really aren't done.

"Stevie, wait!"

"What?" I snap as I turn around.

He's heading straight for me with a look of determination on his face. He isn't giving up on me. He's fighting and my heart feels like it might explode, but before I can even comprehend what's happening – his lips are on mine and the whole world stops.

a/n;

This is one of my favourite chapters.