《I See You》chapter 20: quotes
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When the game is over, my fingertips are numb in anticipation of what comes next. In less than thirty minutes, my whole family is going to be in one room with their sole focus being on Felix and though he says he's not nervous about being the center of attention. I'm nervous for him. Or nervous for myself.
At this point I can't really tell the difference.
All I know is Felix is about to be under investigation and my chest is running in circles, ready to explode in fear. I'm instantly regretting all of this, even though I know it's something I want but my fear is turning into something else. Something I can't explain because there aren't enough words to describe it.
My head is starting to throb as the minutes drag on and Felix still hasn't shown up. The time passing has me picking at my chipped nail polish. Everyone else is here, sitting at the kitchen table waiting for the one person that still hasn't shown up and in the back of my head I'm beginning to worry he may never show.
I know it's irrational. That I shouldn't be afraid he won't come. He said he will be here and I'm done thinking the worst. And yet, here I am – thinking the worst.
"Are you sure he knows it's tonight?" Riker asks, turning the direction of the conversation to me and the empty chair next to me.
"Yes, he knows," I roll my eyes in annoyance before swallowing my pride and repeating myself. "He knows."
"I'm sorry, little bird," dad frowns next to me, resting his hand on my shoulder. "It's better you find out now before you get in too deep."
"He's coming!" I groan and jump up to my feet, turning towards the living room at the front of the house. "He's just running late, okay? Give it a little longer."
"Vee, hang on," Robyn gets up from the table and follows me. "He's going to show, I promise."
"What if he doesn't?" I ask. "What if I've been making a fool of myself over him and he's just been playing me this whole time?"
"First of all, you need to calm down," she stops in front of me, resting her hands on either side of me with a small smile. "Take a deep breath."
Inhaling slowly, I squeeze my eyes shut and slowly let the air leave my lungs.
"Good, now you need to give Felix the benefit of the doubt," she insists and squeezes my arms tightly. "He's going to show. He's a good guy and you need to stop finding every reason in the book you can to run from him. He's late. It happens, but that doesn't mean you need to jump to conclusions."
"I'm scared, Robyn," I whisper the honest truth out, my chest tighter than usual.
"What are you scared of?" She asks.
"Being vulnerable with him," I swallow. "Letting him in and giving him my heart. I know it's insane to be thinking that way right now but I've watched the two people that have made me believe in love almost throw it all away and for what? I don't want to just be a person in passing."
"Okay, I need you to listen to me," she tells me softly, bring her hands down into mine and giving them a tight squeeze. "Felix would be crazy to not fall for you. You're the most amazing person I know, Stevie and you care so much about everyone else but you need to calm down. You're setting yourself up to fail because you think that's what's going to happen."
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"How do you know it's not going to happen?" I ask.
"I don't," she shakes her head. "But I know love. I've seen what it's done when it's toxic, like with my parents and what it's done when it's lonely like your parents. I've seen what it's like when it's so pure it makes everything else seem less important like with Riker and Lena. And I've seen the way Felix has looks at you. I've known him for three years, Vee. Yeah, not great but in passing and games. He's never been with anyone in all that time and he looks at you with such adoration that I'm actually jealous."
Her words settle my pacing heart and I nod my head, stepping forward to wrap my arms tightly around her. "Thank you, Robyn. I don't know what I'd do without you, seriously. You keep me sane."
"Ditto," Robyn laughs lightly and wraps her arms around me just as tightly. "You're going to be just fine, Vee. I promise you that."
Just as the words leave her mouth, the doorbell rings and my heart jumps up into my throat in excitement. She steps back to meet my eyes and grins in my direction, squeezing my biceps. The smug look on her face making my stomach twist, knowing she was right and I got worked up over nothing.
Felix is more than a few rumors in the hallway.
I should know that. And I hate that I have to keep reminding myself of that.
"I thought you were about to run out on me," I say as soon as I open the door to find him behind the wooden door on my porch. "You had me worried."
"I'm sorry," he steps forward and surprises me when he kisses me quickly, stepping back to meet my eyes. "Better?"
"Funny," I nudge him. "What took you so long?"
"I had to make a quick stop," he tells me and it's then that I notice the flowers lingering behind him. "Can't come meet the parents without flowers for the pretty girl's mom."
"She's going to kill those in a day," I laugh. "Bu she'll love them."
"Then I did good," he chuckles and steps inside, closing the door behind him as everyone come out to the foyer. "Hi, Mrs. Alexander," Felix immediately smiles in her direction. "It's nice to see you again, and to meet you, Mr. Alexander."
"I already told you to call me Emery, Felix," mom tells him and then points to dad. "And this is Luke. He's not as scary as he makes himself out to be."
"That's true," I admit and press my lips together.
"I got these for you," Felix offers the bouquet of lilies to her. "And I can't forget about you, Luke. I think I read once that you like to carry around a notebook to write down ideas in after you met Emery and I found this cool one. Thought you might like it."
Dad accepts the leather bound cover notebook, rubbing his thumb over the inscription in the the front page. I bite down on my bottom lip as I look at him, seeing the nerves wash over him when nothing leaves dad's mouth.
"I like this kid," he chuckles, a look of relief washing over Felix's features.
"Kiss ass," Greyson says under his breath, smirking when Felix rolls his eyes in response. My lips curl up as Felix is ushered into the dining room with everyone else, Robyn lingering back to loop her arm through mine.
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"He's a keeper," she tells me quietly. "No way he would go that far out of his way to make such a good impression if he wasn't serious about you."
"You think?"
"I know," she nods. "Let it happen, Vee. Let yourself feel things for him without hesitation. You won't regret it."
"Easier said than done."
Robyn just shrugs her shoulders. "You won't ever know if you don't try."
"You're right," I nod and exhale softly, resting my head on her shoulder. "Thank you for being here. I know you thought it was going to be lame."
"I was kidding! A night in with you and Isla?" She says. "My favorite kind. A night in with your hot brother, you and Isla? Even better."
"You need to get over this crush," I laugh.
"Why? You never know! We could be sisters."
"I'd love it but, take it easy, Robby," I laugh, nudging her side as we part. Robyn sliding into the seat next to Greyson while I find my spot in between Felix and Riker. "Okay, what are we playing?"
"I doubt that?" Isaac suggests.
"I doubt that?" Felix asks, looking over at me for clarification.
"It's a card game," I explain. "It's really simple, and hilarious. Basically we separate a deck out and go around in a circle saying our pick. So, if I were to be first, I'd start with the ace and say I have two aces and lay them down on the discard pile. Then the next person would move onto twos. Now, you don't actually have to have put down what number you're on. You just have to say you did, when in reality it could be an eight and seven. If you believe them, you let it slide and if you want to call them on their bluff you say I doubt that."
"Yeah, and if you're right then they have to pick up the whole discard pile made up of all our cards," Riker continues the explanation for me. "However, if they told the truth then you have to pick the pile up and the object of the game is to get rid of all your cards first."
"Okay, seems simple enough," Felix nods, leaning back into his chair. "Let's play."
"You sure you can keep up with us, Lix?" Greyson asks from across the table. "We Alexander's are pretty competitive."
"I think I'll manage," he chuckles.
And we quickly came to realize that Felix is just competitive as me and my brothers. The last few rounds coming down to the five of us, having wiped the rest out without a chance of beating us and I'm suddenly grateful that it hasn't scared him off. In fact, he embraced my competitive side with his own.
"I can't believe you won," I laugh as I follow Felix out to his car after we finish playing, everyone else already leaving. Riker driving Lena and Mika home while Miles takes Robyn and Isla. "No one was expecting that."
"Not even you?" Felix hums as he leans into the front of his car.
"Not even me," I shake my head and stop in front of him, nervously crossing my arms over my chest. "It wasn't so bad, was it? They didn't scare you off?"
His lips curling up nearly stop my heart as he holds his hands out for me, pulling me towards him when I rest mine in his. "Nothing can scare me away from you."
"Are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure," he nods and stands up straight, moving his fingers into my hair at the nape of my neck as his lips find mine.
I rest my hands on either side of his waist and grasp at the fabric of his shirt, savoring the feeling of his lips against mine. It's all too soon when he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.
"I'm glad we did this," he admits.
My lips curl up. "You are?"
He nods again, moving his hands to my cheeks. "Yeah, your family's cool."
"That's one way of describing them," I laugh. "I think they like you. My parents, I mean. The verdict on my brothers is still out."
"I'll win them over," he chuckles and kisses my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yes," I grin. "I expect one hell of a first date."
"You'll get one," he promises. "I'll pick you up around seven, okay? Don't eat."
"Okay," I nod. "What should I be wearing?"
"Whatever."
I groan in response. "Just tell me if I need to be fancy."
"No, just be comfortable."
"Okay," I smile and kiss him once more. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
He nods as he climbs into his car, waiting until I'm back on the porch to back out and drive off to the closed gate. My stomach is in my throat as I step back into the house to find both my parents waiting for me.
"So..." I hum out.
"He's sweet," my mom says first. "I like him."
I nod, adverting my eyes to my dad. "And you?"
"You're my little girl, Stevie," he tells me. "I didn't think there was ever going to be anyone good enough for my little bird, but Felix is pretty damn close. And the notebook was a nice touch."
"So, you approve?" I ask with a hopeful smile.
"Would you listen if we didn't?" My mom asks.
"No," I grin. "Probably not."
A laugh falls from her lips as she opens her arms to me, wrapping them around me when I step into her embrace. "Not that you need my approval, but you do have it. As long as you're happy, I'm happy and it's clear that Felix is the reason the smile on your face has been so bright these last few days."
"I love you, mom," I mumble as I step back, resting my hands on her elbows. "Tonight was really fun. Let's do it again soon, okay? All of us," I say, my eyes moving to my dad with a hopeful smile.
He nods. "Give me a hug, little bird."
"I love you too," I tell him, giving him a tight hug and sighing.
Things feel normal for once, and I'm wondering if I have Felix to thank for that. The two of them finally having something to agree on.
"Okay, I'm going to bed! I have a date to get ready for tomorrow."
"Goodnight sweetie," my mom smiles, brushing her hand over my arm as I head for the stairs.
"Goodnight!" I say as I begin my journey up the wooden stairs. I linger half way up and peek over my shoulder, my lips curling up into a greet when I see my dad offer the notebook Felix gave him to my mom.
"For your quotes," I hear him say, a new book to start the next journey of her literacy adventure.
A habit she grew into at my age and hasn't stopped since. Quotes that have shaped who she is as a person. Quotes my dad has used to share his love with her. Quotes I know that can one day save them from themselves. Even if they don't see it right now.
a/n;
Today has been going on for literally forever.
Anyways, for my American readers, I have some questions regarding the end of a school year because I'm not sure if it's different than in Canada and I want to make sure I have my facts right.
So, if one of you is up for letting me pick your brain...let me know :)
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