Not a word was heard from the Stanley household for a week, I worried Mr. Howard was keeping Joseph from me or had convinced him to undo his proposal. It would be out of the ordinary for a lady to have to think such a thing yet matters to do with Mr. Howard never ceased to be this way.

As Martha and I rode along the Hyde Park where usually eligible girls started their day to meet likewise eligible suitors, we chanced upon Arthur and Joseph riding along.

"Here we are," Martha said stopping.

"Thank you Mrs. Campbell," Joseph said to Martha.

"Of course Lord Stanley," Martha nodded she had not told me anything.

"What a surprise to see you again Mrs. Campbell," Arthur said to Martha giving Joseph and I enough distance to chat.

"You had me worried," I said.

"Forgive me Alice but things have been in an uproar at home ever since I told my father the news."

"Uproar?"

"He will not give me his blessing, he simply does not consent to our marriage, his opposition is so strong I fear he could cast me off forever," Joseph explained discouraged.

"I am so sorry Joseph I did not know he would react this way, I would never want to see you cast off."

"It is not the money I worry about, it is being separated from my only family which would prove too great a burden, my father must agree."

"Of course," though he did not know of Mr. Howard's wretched behavior of hiding his mother from him I would not use the information to change Joseph's love and almost admiration for his father. "Has he given a reason for the disapproval?"

"No he refuses to tell me anything, he just repeats over and over if I disobey him I will never be happy with you."

It was a relief Mr. Howard had controlled himself enough to not disclose the nature of our relationship to Joseph. But for how long could I count on his discretion since Mr. Howard seemed intent on making me the unhappiest girl on the earth?

"Maybe you will never be happy with me if you two can never be on good terms so if you wish to retrieve your proposal Joseph I would understand it, your father is too important to be cut off from your life..."

"If he was happy for me everything would be so easy for us."

"What do you wish us to do then?"

"Wait for him to change his mind," Joseph said but I believe even he knew that would not help, for once Mr. Howard made up his mind about a person's character I had never seen him retrieve his judgement.

"Then we shall wait."

"I wish I knew the reason behind this opposition, he was so fond of you when we met..." Joseph looked into my eyes and I had to harbor the truth from him.

"Maybe I was a better servant than a lady, I am sure he only wants what is best for you," and as things went I was not the best for him, maybe not even if I was born again into the royal palace.

"I just never saw my father as the same kind of tradionalist like the rest of society." Joseph was so sad with the situation it broke my heart to have dragged him into it and when I was ready to change my mind and break off the engagement Martha swapped my hand.

"Joseph let us..."

"Ah we must get going then Alice!"

"Martha wait..."

"We simply cannot, or someone might catches us, good day gentlemen," Arthur tipped his hat with a grin very much like the one on Martha's face.

"I will keep you informed Alice," Joseph said and I excused myself going in the opposite direction with Martha to my house.

"Oh Alice cheer up for I have the best of news," Martha held on to my arm.

"Is it to do with Arthur?"

"Yes but you will not believe it!"

"Believe what?"

"Arthur proposed ah!"

"Proposed?" I asked shocked knowing how fond Cynthia was of him.

"I know what you are thinking but what of Cynthia? Well I do not know but truth is I have grown so well accustomed to his family and our mothers are such good friends Alice."

"Yes they are but do you love him?"

"I... Admire him."

"Admiration?"

"Yes wherever he go he makes friends easily and he does not have any vices which I should be put off by. Alone in his company you could think to be at a party and I am sure I could live such a full life with him."

"You are blushing Martha."

"Yes well he touched my cheek and it was about the best thing to happen to a girl, how could a little thing like that feel so good? Well you wouldn't care since you are unbothered by humanly things like Cynthia and I."

Martha thought me too righteous but her and Cynthia had no understanding of the strength it took me to not give in to sin. Sin was the default choice, it was too easy to sin, to be a sinner, or at least it had never been so hard to keep away since Mr. Howard came into my life. It was living a step away from the right path and no matter how many jokes from Martha I had to endure about me being too much of a saint if I fell down her friendship would not save me from its consequences.

"And I should say his looks are not a bad addition to his other qualities compared to Mr. Dunn," Martha glowed like a spring tulip.

"Yes I still have to refuse him, oh Lord I will need to learn how to refuse him." Martha had not even remembered Mr. Dunn was part of the narrative she probably was starting to love Arthur after all.

"Yes I am glad Arthur spoke before you said yes to Mr. Dunn."

"I would be devastated if Arthur had let me get away with Mr. Dunn, I told him I would never ever, not in a million years forgive him from waking into a marriage with another man because he was too concerned about being refused, these suitors ever so vain are they not?" Martha mocked them.

"Yes their vanity, our downfall," I said thinking of the dilemma I was in with Joseph.

"Come Alice tell me, am I so bad for accepting Arthur?"

"I would not dare stand in true love's way but you must talk to Cynthia, if she hears it from someone else she will never forgive you but if you do there is a chance maybe she noticed the proximity of Arthur and is ready to understand."

"Yes she might have noticed it, then this week I will talk to her will you go with me?"

"Yes I will."

"And your engagement?"

"We are not engaged yet."

"Alice why do you wish to be engaged if you do not love him?"

"How would you know if I love him or not?"

"Because..."

"Because?"

"I guess nothing happens when you see Joseph, nothing in your eyes, it is as if your mother had walked in, someone familiar but that is all."

"Like my mother? Well if I love him as much as I love my mother..."

"Stop it, this is not a joke and I really do not believe he will be your only proposal once you are introduced to the greater society at Ascot this May though from the success of the Winter Ball I dare say you will not need it although your governess has led you to believe otherwise."

"We should get our outfits in Paris soon," I tried changing the subject.

"You will even talk of clothes to not talk of Joseph?"

"Martha."

"Do not marry Joseph out of desperation, he is a fine young man but maybe we all deserve to marry for love, I never would have advised myself or you but if I had said yes to Mr. Dunn I wouldn't be with Arthur now."

"Do not worry Martha, I am not desperate."

"Well you seem like it, but for what reason? What could cause you to rush into marriage?" Martha tried to come up with something but she would never guess I was saying yes to Joseph so Mr. Howard could not say yes to my mother.

"Nothing like I said we are not engaged."

"Alice are you with uh...? Have you and Joseph done something wrong? Alice promise me you will not elope and turn yourself into a scandal."

"I am not with child! And I hope to God to never do such thing for the Stewart name can not withstand any more disgrace."

"Good because I would like it very much to be able to invite you both to my wedding," she smiled leaving me at the front door as the carriage galloped on back to her house.

In front of my house I waved goodbye to Martha and before opening my front door a small boy prevented me from climbing up the stairs...

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No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.