I want to say,

my depression is an angry deity, a jealous god

a thirsty shadow that wrings my joy like a dishrag

and makes juice out of my smile.

I want to say,

getting out of bed has become a magic trick.

I am probably the worst magician I know.

I want to say,

this sadness is the only clean shirt I have left

and my washing machine has been broken for months,

but I'd rather not ruin someone's day with my tragic honesty

so instead I treat my face like a pumpkin.

I pretend that it's Halloween.

I carve it into something acceptable.

I laugh and I say,

"I'm doing alright."