And this never will be right with me

And now you're trying desperately

Jace slept over, as usual. Waking up with him next to me has got to be the best feeling I've ever felt throughout my entire life, that and driving Liam's car down the road and back. I'll ace my driving test when the time comes.

Jace was already awake and I rolled over on top of him and pecked him on the lips. He cracked a grin but then grimaced and shoved me off him.

"Ew go brush your teeth first." He ordered and I pouted, pecking him on the cheek instead before jumping out of bed with a ridiculous amount of energy for this time of day.

"You know today, when we walk into school, what do you think would happen?" He asked as he walked into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush that I brought for him. He been staying over a lot through the past few weeks and a lot of those times, we do stuff. Such stuff that shall not be spoken about but that's besides the point; he now has his own everything here. His own towel, his own toothbrush and so on.

"I don't know." I said with a mouth full of toothpaste so it didn't come out very coherent.

"I hope nobody says shit." He sighed and stuck the toothbrush in his mouth.

I spat out my toothpaste before it could dribble out of my mouth and rinsed my mouth with water before turning to face him. "If you think about it, it's not like the school's packed with homophobes- plus, I won't let them say shit. Neither will Torvux or Liam or Ben."

"Ben said that?" He said and dribbled out a little toothpaste. I had to stifle my laugh because otherwise he'd probably do something horrible to me like give me the silent treatment, which is something he's very good at.

"Yeah, he said that." I said and left the bathroom and padded down the stairs. I still had yet to check what time it was, according to the clock on the stove, it was almost quarter to eight. Where was everyone?

Jace came downstairs a few moments after and voiced my thoughts, turns out, everyone had fallen off the face of the earth.

It was eerily quiet and a little weird so I walked over to the radio and tuned it to a music station before grabbing two cereal bowls and two spoons and a box of coco pops.

I checked the driveway from the window and saw that mum's car wasn't there, neither was dad's. Liam's was there, but he wasn't present downstairs. I shrugged it off and started pouring out my coco pops, Jace joined me at the table and mimicked my actions. My index finger instinctively went over to my left wrist to tighten my bracelet but it wasn't there and I had that weird feeling again because it felt so bare.

"Morning." A hoarse voice boomed through the kitchen, Liam walked in and took a bowl from the cupboard, pouring himself some milk and then adding the cereal. He was weird like that, you put the cereal and then the milk but Liam preferred it the other way.

"When did that happen?" Liam's eyes widened as they caught upon Jace's wrist. He wasn't here at dinner time yesterday because he was at the gym.

Jace grinned to him and the faintest blush tinted his cheeks, he ducked his head without muttering a word and ate another spoonful of cereal.

"Oh that..." I grinned, "last night."

"Does that mean-"

"Yup." I answered, I knew what he was about to say.

"I'm proud of you bro." He reached a hand across the table and balled it into a fist, I did the same and bumped mine against his. An obnoxious thought was spiralling in my head. Was Liam not bothered about this at all? After all, everyone's going to find out that he has a gay brother.

"Jace, there's some of your clothes upstairs from when you stayed last time." I muttered, Jace nodded as a reply and continued on eating his cereal in silence.

"Do you know where mum and dad are?" I asked.

"Dad's at work and I think mum mentioned she'd be going to get some food." Liam answered, picking up his now empty bowl and rinsing it under the tap, I followed suit and soon Jace did the same.

Walking up to the front gates of Kingston High never seemed like such a difficulty, the only time I ever felt like this was when I first started here in year seven but I didn't feel as nervous as I was feeling now because I knew my older brother would be inside and willing to help me out.

Right now though, even with the support from Liam, I was getting anxious because I'm way past year seven, I'm now one of the most popular people in school, meaning all eyes are on me at all times which is something I didn't appreciate right now. With each step from the car park to the front entrance, my palms were getting all sweaty and my body was heating up a million degrees. Jace on the other hand, he was surprising because unlike me, his head was facing straight, he looked fearless and even though I knew he was hiding how he really felt, this brilliant facade he effortlessly puts up could fool anybody he isn't all that close to.

I took a long breath, holding it in for a few seconds before releasing it and reaching for Jace's hand so that I could intertwine mine with his. The Torvux bracelet he was wearing proudly brushed against my wrist and I felt a smile creeping up on my lips. I took a few steps forward with Jace linked to me and soon enough, we were right at the front of the school, out in open. Everyone could see us.

I heard lots of whispering and chatter as we went in through the front doors and my heart hammered against my chest violently as Jace and I bravely padded down the corridor and towards my locker, I felt him brush his thumb against mine and I felt stupid feeling this way because as long as I was with Jace, I'd be happy. I shouldn't care so much about what everyone thinks; at least I knew my closest friends supported me and that's basically all that mattered.

We reached my locker and I finally met Jace's eyes, they were a happy, light blue. He had to let go of my hand so I could change around some books from my locker and bag. A crowd started forming around us and I heard lots of murmuring and chatter, I could literally feel the eyes on me, observing me, observing us. What are they doing? Are they together? Wait, Zach's gay? Holy crap, that guy has his bracelet?!

I held his hand again as we made our way to his locker which was in another corridor, I tried to not meet eyes with all the people not so secretly scrutinising us, I was far too overwhelmed already. My heart was hammering against my chest so hard that I could feel it in my ears, I wonder how Jace felt. Adrenaline was coursing through my body but I also felt shaky and fragile too, it was an odd feeling.

"Hot damn." Flynn whistled as he made his way towards us.

"Flynn." Jace nodded curtly with his jaw clenched.

"Jace." He replied back but seemed relaxed and laid back.

"Flynn, get lost." I sneered and slung a protective arm around Jace's shoulders when he had finished taking books from his locker.

"God, what is it with you?" Flynn sighed, "I don't like arguing with you."

"Last time I checked, I was ignoring you, not arguing with you, I'll think I'll keep with that. Bye." At with that, Jace and I rushed past him, out of the circle that had formed around us and towards the cafeteria.

We sat down at a random table that had six spaces left, I reached across the table and held Jace's hands. Rebecca sat down at the table, along with Ben, a few other friends of Jace's and Flynn. For god's sakes.

Ben did a double take seeing Flynn and narrowed his eyes into slits, Flynn just sat down at the table acting like nothing had happened.

"Oh my god." Rebecca awed and tugged on Jace's wrist so that it slipped out of my hand and looked down at the leather bracelet and the ornate design that was shimmering in the light. "Oh my god." She repeated.

"I'm not god but thanks, I guess." Jace muttered nonchalantly. People at the table started snickering.

"But I dated you." She said and met my eyes.

"What's your point." I deadpanned and rolled my eyes.

A few people from Torvux gathered around the table and sat on the empty seats, some just stood or leaned against the table beside us. Kyle gave me a thumbs up while Calvin scrutinised Jace. Liam appeared too and seemed awfully happy because there were a bunch of girls fawning over Jace and I from a few tables away, obviously I was able to tell, they were practically drilling holes into our faces.

I looked to Ben, who clearly wasn't happy about his mutual enemies surrounding his table, he didn't say anything though. Just simply sat still and trying to not glance over to the rest of the guys. I was surprised, I would've thought he'd have a go at them or pummel their face in but then again, he wouldn't do that because he's only come after you if you provoked him.

"So uh..." I trailed off and brought my watch into my view, there was still ten minutes left until the first period.

Calvin stopped burning holes into Jace's face and looked to Ben, his face lit up and I could've sworn that he didn't even think before speaking because Ben stood up abruptly after being asked again what happened between him and Flynn.

Ben's lips contorted into an oval but no words came out of them, instead, Flynn's voice perked up.

"We made love of course." he said dreamily and brought a finger to Ben's checkered shirt and traced it dangerously low down his torso. Ben slapped his hand away but in the process, Flynn wrapped his hand around Ben's so he couldn't move it.

"Fucking let go." Ben growled but Flynn made no effort to let go, even when Ben flopped his hand around violently as if he was shaking some water off it.

More eyes were starting to glance our direction and seriously, if looked could kill then everyone in the cafeteria would've been six feet under right now because of Ben's glare.

"We made love, but Ben's shy about it, it was his first-"

And that was how Flynn ended up face planting the floor after he was shoved off his seat.

"What did happen though?" Calvin muttered quietly and It sparked everyone's attention. Everyone wanted to know what happened, even me. Even Jace probably, unless Ben had already told him.

Ben rolled his eyes and slung his rucksack over his shoulder just as the bell shrilled to life and signalled the first period.

Flynn stood up and dusted his clothes off before laughing it off and walking with Kyle to their next lesson, I followed closely behind but not before (very openly and publicly) pecking Jace on the lips, he grinned and kissed me back for even longer. The kiss was electric, it felt more real than it ever had, whether it was adrenaline or simply love, Is beyond me.

Flynn's head bopped as he walked chatting with Kyle, deep in conversation. Countless times, I'd be walking with him in this direction because our classes were near each other, countless times we'd wait with each other before we were welcomed into the classroom by the teacher, countless times we'd wait outside the classroom after one of our lessons ends and pull faces through the windows to make each other laugh. On some occasions, one of us would walk in each other's classroom and eagerly wait for the teacher to notice, if they ever did.

It stung.

Everything seemed so golden then, like when you sit around the dinner table with your relatives at Christmas, chatting away and having a blast. Everything was so perfect, it was definitely a memory to cherish.

Then it all broke apart.

Flynn and I turned from bros to enemies and the story goes on. I would like to actually accept his offer about forgiving him and becoming bros again but as tempting as it was, I couldn't. Liam was more important, so was Jace and oddly enough, Ben too. Nobody really liked Flynn, but that didn't stop me from backing him up in front of Ben whenever he'd have a go at him back in year ten after Ben buffed up. I saw past Flynn's flaws, I dug deep and I actually found out that he has a heart, he would never go against his friends.

That all changed though when he slept with Naomi; I was tempted as hell to believe she seduced him instead of the other way round but I'm sure they've done it on multiple occasions so they're both just as bad as each other.

I remember when I was dealing with my sexuality, it was a horrible phase, it seemed like so many years ago but it wasn't. I would cry multitudinous nights, wanting to turn straight because I thought I wouldn't be accepted. My thought process even went to dark places, like mum and dad chucking me out the house or the school finding out somehow and hating me for it; I would ring Flynn and he'd make me feel better, I'd automatically stop crying just by texting him about something that doesn't even have to do with cheering me up because through text he wouldn't know I had been crying.

On the phone however, he'd ask why I was crying and I would just pin it on one of my ex's, even if it made me a wuss or is just blame it all on my family which was a white lie because I'm giving part of the truth but not the entire thing. He was always so amazing at advice, even though I'd lie about the reason behind getting all emotional, he always knew exactly what to say.

I stared ahead at the two, walking in front of me and monkeying around, trying to slap each other. Digging my hands in my pockets, I felt some paper all crumpled up.

Meet me in the basement at Lunchtime.

Flynn.

And then he signed it off with a little drawing of a cat, which was his usual way of signing off notes he passed to me which was how I knew that it was actually him that wrote it.

My fingers were all tingly as I walked down the crowded corridor towards the door to the basement. Nobody really knew what the door led to, I don't think about took any notice of it to be honest. It was Torvux territory and sometimes it was mine and Flynn's hideout whenever we wanted to skip one of our lessons.

Usually, I'd be able to go down to the basement without having anybody notice me but today, all eyes were on me, on my empty wrist. Some people were grinning, others weren't that happy.

With a final glance behind me, I opened the door and closed it behind me. The slam of the door echoed in the basement and Flynn walked to the foot of the stairs in my view. He smiled to me and I resisted smiling back even when my lips felt they had to break out into a full on grin.

"You came." He said once I stood in front of him, we walked over to a couch that was placed down here and sat down on it.

"Just hurry up and tell me why you called me here." I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.

Flynn's smile dissipated and he leaned forward. "I really miss you."

"That's cute and all, but you're a dick." I deadpanned, "you fucking force-snogged Jace in front of me."

He fiddled with his fingers and the ring he was wearing on his middle finger. "I was trying to deal with not having you around, I know it was messed up, I know and I feel terrible."

When I didn't reply, he continued, "I was so messed up, I was hurt and I thought fighting back was the most brilliant idea in the world."

"Dude, you slept with Naomi before all of it too, why?" I retorted.

"I... It was once. She was making moves and then I made moves and I told her it was wrong but she got me so damn turned on and I couldn't stop." He sighed, defeated.

"Bullshit." I stood up and slung my rucksack over my shoulder and started walking back to the stairs, my heart pounded in my chest and my breathing was ragged, I could even feel a headache coming on.

Flynn turned me around before I could reach the foot of the stairs and I felt his arms wrap around my waist. "Please." He cried and tightened his hold on me.

"Flynn get off." I growled and tried to take his arms off me but it didn't work. Finally glancing down at him, I saw tears wanting to escape.

I heart dropped but then I remembers all the shit he had pulled in the past. He didn't deserve my friendship.

Finally pushing him off me, I clambered up the stairs silently and slammed the door behind me then angrily walked to the cafeteria. Why did I feel so angry? I'll never know.

I sat down at the usual table, surprising Ben who was sat down and immersed into his phone. He just looked at me blankly and I lay head down on the table, using my arms for support.

"I'd ask what's up but I really don't want to know." Ben trailed off, "wait, did someone say something about your sexuality? I'll punch their face-"

"No." I cut him off and murmured into my flesh.

"Kind of curious now." he trailed off and I looked up at him, unamused. "Woah, look's like you've finally mastered that death glare you told me about that you receive all the time."

My lip started twitching, and then I smiled. I was terrible at keeping straight faces, really terrible. The only time I had been able to successfully hold a straight face for the longest time was when I had that tantrum in my bedroom a while ago, it did tear me up inside, knowing Liam was so against my sexuality- or so I thought.

I rocked that straight face, and it was obviously because I was so deeply affected my Liam of all people, my brother who I had to repair a relationship with.

Another successful time I was able to hold a straight face was during that time Flynn went good far with Jace at the bonfire, it killed me then and it still does now just thinking about it.

It's obvious that, if Flynn really affected me as much as I think he did, then I wouldn't have been able to laugh at such a silly thing that Ben said. Maybe it wasn't cut out to be, Flynn and I. Maybe he didn't deserve my friendship, especially after hurting two of the most important people in my life.

I think letting go was the one of the best choices I had ever made.