《Sir Crabby (Progression Litrpg)》Chapter 32 - Report
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“Alright, so after being chased from town by a mob of angry villagers we’re going to do an after-action review. So, there was some drinking, a few fights, and more drinking. Anything I miss?”
“Well Sarge… there was a small fire that got started in one of the homes. Larry here got drunk and decided to “clear out some rats,” for one of the residents. He decided a fireball would do the trick.”
“Alright, new rule. No drinking and questing. What about you bard?”
“I just spent the evening with a nice widow.”
“That’s not too bad…”
“Turns out she lied about the widow part…”
…
“New rule, the bard will be escorted at all times.”
--After Action Review, Overheard conversation from A Lenorian Army Squad. AC 1478.
“TODD!!!!”
“Wha!… whats going on?”
Oh, sweet baby Wisdom. My brain hurts. My joints hurt. My claws and legs hurt. Why is the light so bright? Why is Todd yelling? Why is One-Eye laying on my shell?
As I slowly start to move, the others join me in waking up. We’re moving like we’re suddenly corrupted or something, all jerky and disjointed. I feel terrible and I bring up my status to see why,
‘ding
You are currently suffering from:
Debuff: Hangover.
Duration: 3 hours
Is this from drinking? I’m not sure I ever want to do this again if I feel this terrible afterward. No wonder I received a notification earlier stating that I was poisoned. I blearily look at Todd and ask,
“Wha… what time is it?”
Todd replies,
“HOUR… UNTIL… NOON.”
Okay, an hour until noon. That’s not too late, it’s still morning. My thoughts grind along, scrambling to make purchase on something. Noon… noon… there was something I was supposed to remember about noon. Was there something I needed to do? Maybe a study… a report…
I bolt straight up, suddenly driven awake by the panic crashing into my shell.
“REPORT AT NOON!”
I awkwardly scramble to my feet and start to lift everyone to their feet. I move Wilhelm and Mina up into the water and place them there as they start blearily swimming on their own.
“We… *urp*”
Ooh, that didn’t feel good.
“We gotta go guys! Have to report in an hour!”
Everyone lurches along with me to the steps leading to the main hall. I wave a claw at Todd, letting him know,
“Thanks… *urp* for everything Todd! We’ll visit *urp* again!”
“TODD.”
He waves his spikes in a goodbye motion and I return the gesture with a claw. As I do, I burp once more. Oof, my stomach is roiling, it flops and turns and tumbles as I stumble to the entrance. As I try to figure out how to get back in time, One-Eye swims up. He says,
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“Ey… Ma buddy ‘ere will give you a ride. Getcha back on time. Good Luck.”
Another otter swims up and we all climb into the black sled. As the sled lifts into the water and takes off, I focus on my claws in front of me. Looking anywhere else just makes me dizzy and I’m struggling to hold onto the contents of my stomach as it is. The city zooms by, and I can tell by our speed that we’re making excellent time. We land outside of the recruiting station and hurry into the building, We change into our military camouflage and descend the stairs to the base.
With an idle part of my mind, I note that there has to be a better way of getting in and out of this location and resolve to ask about it later. With twenty minutes to spare, we’re all standing outside of the reception building. I look at my teammates. Luna is lying motionless on the ground. The Bill brothers are leaning against one another, and Mina and Wilhelm have their eyes closed. They are both floating off kilter and seem to be struggling as much as I am. I *clack* my claws together to get everyone’s attention.
“Okay guys! This is it! I know this wasn’t in the plan but come on! We’ll get in there and figure out what’s going on. Pull it together, I know it’s tough.”
Luna lifts a leg up, trying to show attentiveness. The brothers stop leaning on each other and Mina and Wilhelm try to level their floating in the water.
Alright, let’s do this!
I turn to the double doors in front of me and push them open. The light from inside the building blinds me for a second, and as they clear I hear Drill Sergeant Lee talking,
“Yes, Sergeant Major. One of the best classes I’ve had so far. In fact, here they are…”
Oh no.
My eyes adjust to the interior quickly and I see Drill Sergeant Lee standing next to an old turtle. I stand frozen, rising fear within my shell slowing my response. I don’t have to look behind me to know that the others are feeling the same way. I already know the problem. We showed up hungover and probably looking and smelling exactly as bad as we feel right now. I nervously swallow and wait for the hurricane to come.
The Sergeant Major looks at us, one by one, a single eye raised. A thin smirk plays out at the corner of his mouth. After an interminable silence he turns to Drill Sergeant Lee.
“Why, these soldiers seem a little tired Drill Sergeant. Why don’t you help them wake up and then send them on their way?”
At his words, I look at Drill Sergeant Lee. I can almost feel the anger from him, pulsing in the water. The Drill Sergeant replies with a curt, “Will do Sergeant Major,” and motions us to follow.
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We file in behind him, not a single word passing among us.
He leads us to the running track and starts talking. The same sickly sweet false cheer he had before has returned. He says,
“Well, nothing to start the day like a good morning run! Don your armor.”
A flash of mana down the line and we are wearing our armor once more. Drill Sergeant Lee continues,
“Well, I was going to just drop y’all off, but like Sergeant Major said, you appear a bit tired. So! We’ll go for a little run!”
I move to get in line, but a lifted claw stops me.
“Oh! But I forgot! You guys are full fledged soldiers now! Why don’t we make this a little harder?”
His domain ripples out, and I feel the weight of the armor double, then triple. It presses me down and I can feel my legs digging into the earth beneath me. With a waved claw Sergeant Lee begins running and we move to follow.
This is going to suck.
*Five Minutes Later*
“WE’VE BARELY BEGUN! WHAT’S Y’ALLS MAJOR MALFUNCTION?”
*Ten Minutes Later*
“DO YOU FEEL FAINT CRABBY? DO YOU FEEL WEAK?”
*Fifteen Minutes Later*
“HALT!”
I collapse, and the other’s join me. As we lay there gasping, a jet of water comes out of nowhere and focuses on us. We each get a minute of high-pressure water blasting onto us before Drill Sergeant Lee walks up. He quietly says to all of us,
“You know what you did. Don’t do it again.”
We all nod, trying to catch our breaths. Oddly enough, I do feel a bit better. More than one pile of puke lines the track from the sudden exercise and as I look at the others, I can see that they’ve recovered a bit as well. We follow Drill Sergeant Lee out to the base proper.
As we follow along behind him, he begins talking.
“Alright. We’re heading to the teleportation room. From there, you’ll be sent out to the forward base for the unit you will be assigned to.”
He glances down at a tablet in his hand before continuing,
“It looks like you’re going to be assigned to the 9th Armor unit. Call sign, “Phantom.”
Okay, that sounds pretty cool.
Sergeant Lee continues,
“Once you’re there, they’ll get you figured out for quarters and take care of you. It’s pretty quiet on the front right now, but the scouts job never stops so you should have a mission soon.”
A faint hope begins to rise in my shell. While this has been an… interesting experience so far, I can’t forget my goals in joining the fight. I need to get out of here, get back to my coast. I remember the other’s saying they would help me get the points I needed to retire early. I focus back on the situation as we enter a building.
Sergeant Lee walks to a technician sitting in front of a large blinking board. He’s talking quietly, pointing at his tablet then at us and I can make out their conversation with some difficulty.
“…need to go to their unit. NO MISTAKES. Double check the settings…”
I try to squash the slowly growing anxiety at the thoughts of moving ahead, moving onto the next stage of my journey here. I look at the others and see the same anxiousness I feel mirrored in their expressions. I try to reassure them,
“Okay guys. This is it. We got this. We just have to report and then follow the instructions we’re given.”
Luna replies,
“I know Crabby. It’s just… the whole thing has me nervous you know? We’re about to face the corruption once again. It’s a bit scary when you think about it.”
The others nod along, and I consider the difficulties we’ve shared together. I reply,
“I know. But together we’ll get through this.”
I look each of them in the eye, one by one.
Luna
Bill
Billy
Mina
Wilhelm
“We’ll get through this together.”
The technicians voice cuts through our chatter. I hear,
“Teleportation in thirty seconds…”
Drill Sergeant Lee speaks up,
“You’ll do fine privates. Just follow the lead of the person above you and you’ll be alright. Like I said, it’s quiet on the front right now, it’ll give you some time to get used to things. We’ll beat the corruption one day, I’m sure of it.”
“Teleportation in ten seconds.”
I nod, looking at Sergeant Lee. I think back to our encounter in the kelp forest, and the dungeon before that. If there’s anything I know it’s that the corruption is devious. There is no telling what it’s up to. But regardless, all I have to do is my part. And I have help.
“Five.”
“Four.”
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.”
A blinding flash of light descends.
…
A blaring klaxon and flashing red lights are the first thing I sense. I raise my claws in readiness and call out for a defensive formation. The others rush to circle up, heads scanning the environment while I try to figure out what is going on. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I know this isn’t usual, and it’s certainly not “quiet.”
The Corruption must be up to something.
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