《Visceral》63 Flapping Jitters
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I stepped into the boiler room between the two steel boilers. Steam shot out of overhead pipes with wicked hisses. Hot drops of water pelted me on the shoulders and the back of my neck. My boots clanged on the metal grating. I was in a raised aisle cutting through the middle of the room. Looking down through the holes in the grating the floor seemed too far away to fit into this ship. The boilers were as tall as apartment buildings.
Small glass peep holes showed the raging inferno inside the boiler. The tubes inside glowed orange. I leaned in close and could make out shooting blue flames coming from the walls. I looked up to see the welded tubes arch above my head and dive back into the boiler. Ladders ran up from the grating I stood on to large caged-in valves. Beyond the boilers, grated stairs led up and down the backside.
The bottom floor looked to be solid steel riveted together. Large, welded tanks and tools filled the floor below. Steam clouded the air between me and the ground. More metal grate walkways cut across at different angles at fifteen different levels below. Pipes crisscrossed at every level. Some were as big around as a barrel and some only an inch around.
Something darted across the grating near the bottom. I squinted my eyes. Blue and white wings and white spandex shorts with suspenders. Jitters. He was skipping on the grating like a twelve-year-old girl. Below him, Elindrel and Veagon were bashing each other with heavy wrenches. I ran for a pipe that dropped down several floors and turned underneath me. I dove and wrapped my hands around the pipe. I slid down it like a firepole and jumped free just before it turned. I landed roughly smashing into the grating and rolling on my back on the jagged metal flooring.
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I had to backtrack in the room to find another suitable pipe. It was a little too large to wrap my hands around, so I opted to wrap my four arms and legs around the oversized pipe. Turned out to be the dumbest decision yet. The pipe was scalding hot. It was also nine floors long. What issued was a sixty-mile-an-hour drop with me on the verge of letting go and tearing off my own face for the madness. I would have rather shoved handfuls of outraged kittens in the pockets of my pajama pants than hold onto that hot pipe.
So, after a couple of seconds, I let go. Luckily for me, I had a cheese grater grating to break my fall. I let loose a hot flood of colorful swear words that came out as, “Monkey Beth, son of a bird's bottom, poop shooting hot as rice pipe.” My robes were burned down the front the little wiry beard growth on the right side of my face was gone and I had pee down the front of my pants. I opted for the stairs the rest of the way.
Minutes later skippy the joyous butterfly man danced past with a childish giggle unaware of the enraged four-armed, yellow-eyed orc standing in the shadows just feet away. Below him, on the ground floor, I saw Elindrel and Veagon drop to the floor exhausted too tired to fight anymore. Jitters sprinkled dust from his pouch down on their heads and the two brother elves got a second wind. Both of them were beaten bloody it looked like Veagon had a broken arm but now they were smacking one another with pipe wrenches like mortal enemies.
Jitters swirled in delight like a ballerina and leaped into a graceful skip right into my chest. He hit the grating on his back. His eyes grew wide and the antenna on his forehead stiffened. His long thick whiskers on his cheeks twitched as I stepped out of the darkness into the cloud of steam over him. My yellow eyes burned holes into his.
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I reached down and snatched the sack from his hip. He stammered between my feet. “I-I- was - j-just havin a laugh.”
“I like to laugh.” I was sure to drop my voice extra low. I raised the pouch to look inside. A sparkling powder of blue and yellow filled the pouch to its rim. “I should have some of your party powder and have a laugh with you.”
“Hold that thought,” he held up a hand, “what’s that? Indigo?” He scooted back out from between my legs a little. “I think she needs my help. Sorry gotta go.” Then skippy, the good humor fairy, kicked me in the rocks.
I doubled over in pain nearly dropping the sack. My three free hands covered my precious as my eyes filled with water and my stomach turned over. He covered his mouth with a hand and grinned before darting off into the boiler room.
I dropped to my knees and through watery eyes watched as Elindrel landed a blow upside his brother's head. Vegan hit the floor like a sack of potatoes and Elindrel dropped beside him heaving for air and covered in a sheet of sweat.
I rolled to my back in time to watch Khan and the other dingo race past on the grating above me. The whole crew was like middle school kids with a substitute teacher. Jitters appeared several floors up leaning over the handrail of the walkway. He smiled and waved. “Wait right there.” I tried to shout but my stomach still hurt.
He skipped off giggling. I lay there relieved he hadn’t dropped something on me. Gunshots from somewhere beyond the boiler room got me to roll onto my knees. A couple more shots, motivated me to get to my feet.
I stood with shaking hands looking up at the fifteen stories of stairs above me. I channeled fantasies of my next encounter with the fairy man into my veins to propel me up the stairs.
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