“So that’s the Bog of Impossible Glory?” asked Jake.

“Yep, that’s right,” answered Green_Turtle_Boy_369.

“Suitably named after my amazing victory in the Lapine Death Corps World Series, two years ago, when I took down seven rabbit machine gunners, whilst un-armed, in the space of ten seconds?”

“No, it’s named after a real battle, in real life,” explained Green_Turtle_Boy_369. Not everyone spends their entire life playing Lapine Death Corps you know.”

“Oh right,” said Jake. “Are you sure?”

“You’re very talkative today aren’t you?” asked the exasperated Green_Turtle_Boy_369. Jake normally sulked quietly on their short hover-ship ride to work, as he hated the company of people and his work, but after he had realised that the maps of his favourite computer game, Lapine Death Corps, were based on Crawk he had taken a sudden interest in his surroundings.

Jake grunted and went silent. He had almost forgotten that he had a self-imposed exclusion from society to uphold, and instigating conversation didn’t really fit in with the notion.

They continued their journey across the wetlands. Jake surveyed the scene, but every time Green_Turtle_Boy_369 looked across, Jake looked down, feigning disinterest. His depression was one of the few things that made him feel unique.

After a few uncomfortable minutes, Green_Turtle_Boy_369 pointed to a wet field which lay over some bramble hedges.

“That’s where we fought off the one-armed ogre rabbit, don’t you remember? I dealt the final blow with my machete.”

“Whatever,” grunted Jake. He was itching to argue, everyone knew that Jake had taken the ogre down to 2% life before Green_Turtle_Boy_369 had run in to steal the glory.

“Look! That’s that tree you tripped over as you legged it past the fight.”

Green_Turtle_Boy_369 smiled to himself as Jake refused to get drawn into the conversation.

“And there – that’s where you skulked and hid whilst I ran in heroically.” Green_Turtle_Boy_369 was indicating towards a fallen down cottage, which was pretty much half a wall surrounded by boulders which had once been part of the main building.”

“I was a sniper!” shouted Jake. “I took up position, and shot him whilst hiding by the window frame. I dealt all the damage, not you.”

Green_Turtle_Boy_369 laughed. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to sulk for long. Look, here’s the city. Where else do you remember?”

Jake looked ahead. Contrary to the wild, boggy, unkempt mess that was the majority of Crawk, the city of Ultimate Gore Software was a modern, shiny mecca.

From miles away you could see the conical shimmering which surrounded the city – that was the forcefield which prevented anything from entering without a Crawkling license key. Of course, as a resident, Green_Turtle_Boy_369 was chipped and their ship would pass through the forcefield unopposed.

As they got closer, Jake noticed the buildings for the first time.

“That’s the pod I used to live in before I got my level up and moved to the Higher Chambers!” he cried, pointing at a brightly coloured cylinders suspended at the end of a stalk protruding from the ground. The flats reminded him of a bunch of daffodils from home.

“And there is the tavern I used go in for a rest and a couple of beers – The Filthy Lapine. It’s great in there.”

“It’s far better in real life,” Green_Turtle_Boy_369 assured him. “I go in all the time, you can guarantee a brawl every night except for Sunday. There’s an awesome beer garden out back with a mud pool you can bathe in.”

“I wouldn’t get in that,” said Jake. “There must be a thousand dead rabbits in there.”

“Only in the game,” Green_Turtle_Boy_369 reminded.

Jake ignored him.

“And there, I hide in that shiny metro stop all the time,” Jake said. A perfectly rounded ship hovered in front of the shelter, and thirty blubbery Crawklings hopped out. “See, you get loads of kills when it stops to let passengers off.”

They carried on a little while. “My favourite sewer!” cried Jake.

“That’s one of the few similarities between the game and the city,” said Green_Turtle_Boy_369. “We do actually like to go in the sewers.”

“I shot those weirdly deformed rabbit-fish in there, remember?”

Green_Turtle_Boy_369 nodded, as one hopped out of the open drain and wriggled around in the street.

They flew around the corner, and just one building dominated their view. The gleaming palace of Crawk, over a thousand years old and home to the Grand Zombie Master and the Tower of Power. Unfortunately for Jake who hated it there, the largest and most beautiful building in the city was now his place of work. Despite this, he still gasped.

“It’s amazing how much they’ve made it look like the game, isn’t it?”

Green_Turtle_Boy_369 put his head in his hands.