“And my pay?” I asked. “I know I didn’t say I had a currency preference before, but now I’m thinking I don’t want it in whatever people use in the FSR. I’m not planning to stick around here.”

“Try not to react negatively to the next thing I will tell you,” Clarice warned me. “You will not be receiving a payment from the university.”

“What? Why not? Is this about the personality test? God, am I going to be treated like a second-class citizen now? What do you do with people that actually have black magic?”

“They are executed or Indoctrinated,” Clarice answered simply. I shut my mouth at the sobering reminder of how much trouble I could get into needlessly complaining. “But this is not about that,” Clarice continued. “When I requested your stipend from the finance department, I was informed that the translator you purchased in Haemir exceeded the standard price by a factor of three. We were not even aware translator Brands could be priced so highly and have informed the Power Broker in Haemir to strike that Brand from the list in the future. As a courtesy, we have still provided you a travel voucher, but you will not be receiving any money.”

“Oh… uh. I just went with Gora’s recommendation on my Brand,” I said. I tried a sheepish smile, but it rebounded off Clarice’s stone countenance like a rubber ball. I remembered then how Professor Lightglow had told me the cost of the muscle treatment he’d given me would be deducted from my stipend. Would they come after me for payment, now that they knew I was in the red? It seemed like a good time to make for the exit. “Sorry,” I told Clarice. “I was led to believe the university’s pockets were deep. It won’t happen again.”

“No,” Clarice said. “It won’t.” She stood up and propped open her office’s door. “You may take your leave. I strongly urge you to approach the church about Indoctrination. They will cure you of your ailments, both spiritual and physical.”

I took one last glance out Clarice’s window to gauge where the Porter’s Guildhouse was in relation to the university campus. “Sure,” I said noncommittally. “I will definitely consider it.” The only thing I planned to “consider” was how much I didn’t want to do that. At least Clarice was being honest about what the procedure was like. The priest in Haemir hadn’t been nearly as forthcoming about the fact that it they would essentially overwrite my personality.

As I crossed in front of her on my way out her door, Clarice stopped me with a hand. “Did you meet with Brookie?” she asked.

That put me on the spot more than I was expecting. My instinct was to just lie, but events had transpired in days past to give me an instinctive repulsion to direct lies. He’d shown up in Lightglow’s office, so I had to at least assume word would get back to her at some point. “He dragged me out of Lightglow’s office and tried to ask me some questions about ogre stuff,” I said. “But after I explained to him I was a human, he just disappeared.” All technically true, even in that order. Our conversation had left me a bit paranoid about who I could trust, and I didn’t want anyone to assume we had more of a relationship than a passing curiosity and a few exchanged words.

Clarice gave one of her curt nods, pulling her hand out of my way. “Perhaps I can tell him where to find you,” she said. “Where do you plan to travel from Oxenraith?”

“Haemir, I think,” I replied automatically. “I know you don’t care for Ferrith, but he was pretty nice to me when we traveled together. I’m planning to join up with the Adventurer’s Guild. See if I can rank up. I thought he could help show me the ropes.”

“That sounds perfectly sensible,” Clarice said. “I am sure Ferrith Daze will be as welcoming as you expect.”

I just nodded and continued on my way. Her comment struck me as odd, considering the warning she’d given me the night before. I couldn’t help wondering if the results of her personality test had changed her opinion of me. Now that my tempers had cooled, I felt sort of silly for going off about the lack of human conveniences. Sure, toilet paper was something I sorely—quite literally—missed, but if I had a chance to cure my cancer and learn a bunch of magic while I was at it, I thought the two might just balance out.

On my way down the tower’s ten more flights of stairs, I took them two at a time, just because I could. Barreling down the steps with all my newfound strength, I couldn’t help cackling in delight as I flew past confused students. My stamina bar barely moved. It had been at 89/100 when I started, and when I reached the ground floor, it read:

84/100

It seemed the strength buff I’d received had done more than just grow muscles. I could suck down air like a track star, only getting a slight misting around my brow from the exertion despite the humid heat of the day. On my walk back to the Porter’s Guildhouse all I could think about was all the attention I could get from girls if I showed up to school with my new physique. I’d be one of those guys always looking for an excuse to take my shirt off and I wouldn’t even care. I couldn’t keep the goofy smile from my face as I strolled down the paved streets. They were far more busy than they’d been the night before. The smell of cooking got my stomach rumbling. I stopped at a street merchant selling meat pies and found that two of the pennies I still had in my pocket were enough to buy one.

I paused as I took a bite. Something was wrong—not with the pie, it was actually delicious—no; the problem was with my life. I was… happy. Too happy. Suspiciously happy. That was always a bad omen. I looked around for signs of trouble. The street was filled with rissians going about their day. Nobody seemed to pay me any particular attention. There was another shoe ready to drop. I knew it. I just didn’t know when it would hit. I kept walking while I finished my pie, wondering what I’d do for my next meal since I didn’t have any money. Would the Adventurer’s Guild give me an advance? Maybe that was it. Maybe going hungry was the other shoe. That would be fine, if that’s all it was. I could deal with that.

In the center of town, I reached Oxenraith’s Porter’s Guild. This time, it was roaring with foot traffic beyond anything I’d seen. The crowds in Haemir had been thick, but this was like wading through a sea of bodies. I had to push my way through before I could even find the entrance. Inside, I found all the counters occupied. I got in the shortest line and waited for my turn. After getting my ticket to Haemir, I asked the employee, “Oh. One more thing. How do you send or receive messages to people at this place?”

The woman across the counter sort of cocked her head and smiled in a way that seemed to say, you must be new here. “I can exchange parcels, if you need to take care of that. Any of the Porters working the front desk can do that.”

“Oh, right. No, I don’t have a parcel. I just wanted to make sure I knew how to send a message to someone later.”

“Well, to do that, I will need your account. Do you have one?”

“No. Is it hard to make?”

“Not at all, we just need your name and the location of the Guildhouse you would like your packages held at.” She slid out a metal clipboard from the table beside her, along with a steel stylus with a small diamond mounted to the top of it.

“Name is Vincent Koutz,” I said, “and that would be Haemir’s Guildhouse.”

The Porter tapped on her clipboard a few times. “Koutz?” she clarified. I nodded. “It looks like you already have a package waiting for you in Haemir. From a… Lady Moxie? Does that sound familiar?”