Theodore's voice echoed through the garden. “Blanche?”

The concubine jolted and hurried to leave the pathway that was surrounded by hedges. “Theo? I'm here.” She naturally hurried toward him, but she hadn't expected him to rush around the corner at full speed.

They collided with each other, and Theodore's arms immediately wrapped around her. “Are you alright?” Her lover frantically examined her whole body before staring into her eyes. He gently wiped the remains of a tear from her cheek. “He didn't hurt you, did he?”

Blanche shook her head and put her arms around him. “He just said as stupid things as always. I'm glad that you're here.”

Theodore still didn't seem to be satisfied. He looked over her skin once more and even touched her arms to make sure that she was fine. Then he let his hands wander to her face and gently cupped her cheeks. That soft touch only reminded Blanche of how harsh Cedar had been. Her skin still stung a little, but as soon as her lover caressed her, the ache faded. The emperor only spoke when he had made sure that she wasn't hurt. “I saw him leave just now. He was...bleeding. He said things about me not warning you properly. He didn't look too angry, but I didn't see him like that for a while, and I wasn't sure... The last time he snapped, he almost... I got scared. Are you truly alright? Did he threaten you?”

Blanche was a bit surprised that he hadn't asked about what she had said first. A part of her didn't want to admit that she had caused that situation due to her careless words, but she refused to lie. She averted her eyes while replying. “It was my fault. He made me angry, so I wanted to get revenge. I told him that no one loved him and that everyone was only using him. So, he got upset. Even after you warned me, I didn't keep quiet. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have met him at all. But he was in our pavilion. I wanted him to leave. Because that's our space.”

Theodore gently guided her head so that she was looking at him again. His expression was oddly serious now. “It's not your fault when someone else attacks you because they have mental issues. He is to blame and he alone. You are free to say whatever you want. I just asked you not to do it because I'm scared that he will try to hurt you. That's why I don't want you to talk to him either. Please get me first before speaking with him next time. Alright?”

Blanche nodded weakly and tightened her hold on her lover. Unwanted memories of the conversation flooded her head, and she couldn't do anything but hold back her tears. She didn't want to think about Theodore leaving her because her past was revealed. But if Cedar truly planned on telling him, she would suffer in one way or another. Now that she had provoked the prince, he might do it just to get back at her. That thought alone was enough to make her legs shiver. She cuddled with her lover and grasped his clothes with her fingers. “I won't talk to him again. I hate it. I should have run away immediately.”

Theodore noticed her need for physical affection by now. He pulled her closer and stroked over her head while replying. “You live here and can go anywhere. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry for not being here earlier. I left my office, so your maid didn't find me and needed to search for me. Why does that always happen when he is here? I will be quicker next time. What happened?”

Blanche didn't want to respond. She would have to think about Cedar's words again for that and might end up crying. But she couldn't just deny her lover an answer. “He said bad things about our relationship. So, I snapped. I said what I knew would hurt him.” Which was actually pretty mean when she knew how deep the scars of Cedar's childhood ran. But it wasn't like she could change that now. Cedar had insulted her first anyway. “He told me that I am stupid for provoking an unstable person and that I'm lucky that he can control his breakdowns now.”

Theodore's expression darkened. “Did he touch you? Did he do anything after you said the things about him not being loved?”

A part of her wanted to lie about that, but she wouldn't. Blanche looked to the side while putting her hand on her face to imitate what Cedar had done. “He grabbed me like this. I'm not injured, but it hurt. He was hurt more though. Owen did cut his hand.”

If anyone else saw the emperor right now, they would certainly fear for their life. He glared at someone that wasn't here with a murderous glint in his eyes. That seemed to contradict how gentle he was while resting his hands on Blanche's jaw. “He's suicidal. I will be direct next time. I need to tell him that I'll kill him if anything like that happens again. This is the second time. Maybe he wants me to end his miserable existence so badly that he chooses the most efficient way to make me angry.” His voice was trembling with anger while he spoke. He paused for a moment and continued in a completely different tone. The sudden soft voice made him seem like a completely different person. “Does it still hurt?”

She shook her head slightly, only to be stopped since he still held her cheeks. “No, it's alright. The shock was worse than everything. I thought he would kill me for a moment. If that was how you felt when he aimed a sword at you, it's surprising that you didn't faint. You were a child back then, and even I, as an adult, just had problems standing upright. He is sick in the head, isn't he?” And in Cedar's childhood, it had been much worse. Camille had successfully messed up her son to the point at which he would stop a sword with his hand and still be indifferent.

Theodore furrowed his brows. “He is. Cedar is one of the people with the worst mental condition that I know of. He didn't even fully snap, or you wouldn't be standing here right now. We would be in the pavilion with his corpse on the floor. Once he has a breakdown, you can't reason with him, and he will attack everyone in his reach with as much brutality as possible. At least he did that as a child. I don't know what would happen now. Back then, I was so scared that I couldn't move when he began again. Now he seems to control himself a bit more, but he still acted like he had a death wish. He touched you despite me saying that I wouldn't react kindly to that.” He paused for a moment and whipped his head to the side to face the knight. “Why didn't you attack him? I saw that he was bleeding, but he was still walking without help. Why didn't you use your full force? You could have hit him too instead of using a sword.”

Owen responded with an expression that was slightly more icy than usual. “I considered that, Your Majesty. However, there were no witnesses except for the three of us. If this had been put in front of a trial, we would have had no chance to prove that we acted in self-defense. If I had attacked him with my full force, he would not be able to leave on his own anymore, and I assumed that this could cause issues. Since His Royal Highness just stopped my attack, I believe that anything else might have been dangerous too. It looked like he was waiting for me to initiate combat, and I believed that avoiding a fight would be best.”

Theodore narrowed his eyes. “Owen, I told you that already. I don't want any thinking on your part when it comes to that person. He is dangerous. If he does anything out of the ordinary, you have to prepare to kill him immediately. He is good at fighting, so you will need to act before he notices so that he can't begin a duel no matter what. The result won't be an issue. We can get rid of his remains in an instant if it's necessary. I know that I said that I don't want to spill blood, but that only applies until they start. After that, we won't have any mercy. No matter what happens, I'm the emperor. They can't accuse me of anything without me using it against them. You can't be convicted either. Such an important trial would require my judgment, and as long as I say that you're innocent, the others' opinion doesn't matter. So, act like he is a normal person next time.”

It wasn't that easy, but Theodore probably didn't think so far in his rage.

Owen still nodded at him. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I will make sure to act accordingly. But the wound this time can be used as evidence against him if anything else arises. So, this interaction would be beneficial for us if he comes again within the next weeks.” That almost made it sound like he was looking forward to meeting the prince with that new order in mind. Almost. A part of him was still shaken upon being stopped in the middle of an attack.

Theodore turned to his lover and gently ran his fingers over her face. “He won't come. He needs to lick his wounds first. Cedar needs to calm down before facing us again, or he will lose his temper. He hates it when that happens, so he may be even angrier now than before. But he won't give up on his happy facade, so we should have some time without him.” He scanned Blanche's face for a while before his expression softened. “Is that all that happened? If he did anything else, tell me.”

Blanche gazed at the floor. “He didn't do anything else. He just said mean things.” At first, she wanted to leave it at that, but one look at her lover's face proved that she wouldn't be able to avoid it. She took a deep breath before repeating all the awful things she had heard. “He said that we would break up at some point and that I'm only here because I want power. And that our feelings aren't true. He kept repeating that you are a horrible person and that you will abandon me at some point because of...”

Her train of thought always returned to that one topic even though she couldn't talk about that at all. She pressed her lips into a thin line and clung to the emperor as if he was the last thing keeping her grounded. Maybe he was. She was about to sob again, and her lover's presence was the only good part about this situation.

Theodore tightened his hold on her. “You know that none of those things are true. We love each other, and it will stay like this forever. I will never leave you. I can't live without you, so there is no way for anyone to even consider that option.”

That was exactly what Blanche needed to hear. But at the same time, it also hurt because she knew that Theodore had no idea about what her circumstances were. Once he found out, he would view her differently. There was no way that he would simply forgive her. She should have told him the truth right after meeting him. Maybe he would have been able to forgive her then, but now she had lied to him for two years. How could he accept that?

The concubine could barely stand that thought. She would have liked to hide her face in her lover's chest, but she wasn't able to.

Theodore grabbed her chin and made sure that she was looking at him before pressing his lips onto hers. She put all of her emotions into the kiss while her mind was screaming. Blanche was scared. She was so scared of losing the man she loved. And she had no way of keeping him from finding out the truth when her enemies might think that it was funny to reveal it to him.

Theodore kept holding her even when the two of them ended their kiss. He gazed at Owen for a moment before mouthing something to him. The knight formed some words with his lips too before Theodore turned to his lover again. He lifted his hand to stroke over her hair while speaking. “Let's get you inside. We need to keep you from thinking about horrible things like that.”

Blanche nodded at him and allowed him to guide her when he pulled her toward the building. Theodore quickly brought her to the third floor and into his room, for which she was truly thankful. He climbed onto the bed with her and rolled her into the blanket before pulling her into his lap.

Blanche just allowed herself to lean against him and rested her head on his shoulder. Her tension had to have been way too obvious.

Theodore kept placing kisses on her skin and reminded her that he loved her every few seconds, and she repeated it to him each time.

She knew that there was only one thing she should do, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. If Cedar might tell her lover, she had to be faster. If she explained it to Theodore properly, he wouldn't be too angry, right? She needed to say it, or the reveal would be even more painful. But a few words could ruin their whole relationship if she wasn't able to judge her lover's reaction properly. If he looked at her with hatred or despair, her heart would break. Before she knew what was happening, tears began streaming down her cheeks.

Theodore noticed way too quickly. He turned her around so that she had to face him and caressed her cheeks. “Is this about what he told you?”

Blanche wasn't sure how to respond to that. Surely, Cedar had reminded her of the fact that there was an issue she had forgotten, but at the same time, that problem hadn't been caused by the prince. The concubine needed to use all of her self-control to speak up without pausing to hick-up. “Not really. He...just said something that made me remember. It's nothing-” She cut herself off.

Of course, it wasn't unimportant. She wouldn't be crying if that wasn't the case. She wouldn't fool anyone with this.

After a few seconds of trying to come up with something, Blanche broke down. “I need to tell you something. It's really important. But I'm scared. Scared that you'll hate me afterward. If that happens, I...I...” Her voice cracked, and she let her face fall forward into her lover's chest.

Theodore ran his fingers through her hair and kept his other arm around her body. He was so gentle despite her words, which made it seem like he wouldn't care at all. But she knew that that wasn't true. He spoke up just a few seconds after she finished. “I would never hate you. You could kill me after years of torture, and I would still love you with all of my heart. So, don't say things like that. If you want to tell me something, you can always be honest. There is nothing that could make my feelings change.”

Blanche sniffled a few times and held his shirt as if he would disappear as soon as she let go. She wanted to believe those words so badly. But it wasn't that easy. Still, her greatest desire was to hear him say that everything would be fine. “Even if I did something really stupid?”

“No matter what you did, I did something that was much more stupid. And you forgave me for that. Do you love me?”

That question made her jolt into an upright position. She stared at him with widened eyes and felt panic rising inside her. Why did he see the need to ask that? “Of course! I love you. More than anything else in this whole world. I would give my life for you.”

Theodore's muscles tensed as he put his hand on her cheek and looked at her with that saddened expression. “I know. But don't say that. Please. It breaks my heart every time.”

She could just nod at him.

Her lover rested his face on her head and pressed countless kisses onto her scalp before leaning back to face her. He wiped away all the tears before resuming. “You just said that you love me. And I love you. Those are the only two things that count. As long as you love me, we will stay together. So, unless you tell me that you want to leave me, I won't be upset.”

Blanche hurried to shake her head. “I would never say anything like that. I can't live without you either.” All of his promises sounded so wonderful, but those issues wouldn't be resolved by her avoiding talking about them. She opened her mouth before closing it again a few times. “I...I...” She would at least have to spit out the general problem, or she would never be able to force herself. “I... I lied to you.” She had barely said that when her throat gave in. She could only sob and cling to her lover.

Theodore pulled her into his arms and slowly cradled her body while shushing her. “It's fine. You always say that you trust me and know that my actions have a reason. I think so about you too. You had a reason. As long as we are in love, nothing will come between us. I will repeat it as many times as you want to hear it. You can believe my words. I wouldn't say this if it wasn't true.”

Blanche closed her eyes and focused on him while trying to clear her mind. She would have to say it now. If he changed his mind afterward, she would die. “But it's been two years. Ever since then, I lied about...about...”

She could barely do it. The way he held her reminded her that she couldn't live without his love.

Just as she doubted again, Theodore gently stroked over her head and brought his face to her ear to whisper. “It's alright. This is about your amnesia, isn't it? You haven't actually lost your memories.”

Blanche stiffened as her blood rushed through her veins. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart as she lifted her head to stare at him with wide eyes. He knew? How? She had never said anything. He couldn't have found out about it by himself. “How did you...” Her stomach was churning with dread, but her lover only planted a kiss on her forehead.

“I told you not to worry, didn't I? I'm not mad. I knew about that a few days after you came here. You remembered things about Artias and common knowledge just fine and only had no idea about your own past. That sounded weird. And you sometimes mess up. You mention your childhood and how you liked specific things when you were younger. Or you mention that you are a commoner and never learned how to waltz. You also knew about your cherry allergy before ever eating one here. And you chose your new birthday without skipping a beat and insisted that you were twenty when you came to the palace. There have been many occasions on which you did that. So, I assumed that you had just lied about having lost your memories. But as I said, I do not care. I've known it for two years and never bothered to be mad about it. In fact, it was convenient for me because I could offer you to stay with me for that reason. I was never angry. If you don't want to tell me something, it's alright. I trust you.”

If only that was all there was to it. Then she would be able to stay silent now and be happy about her lover being so kind. But that wasn't it.

Blanche could only stare at him and open her mouth a few times before actually speaking in a broken voice. “Why are you reacting like this? You shouldn't be so nice after you realized that. And there is something else. I don't know what to... I don't deserve your kindness. You should be angry or disappointed or-”

Theodore shushed her again. He placed his hands on both sides of her face and kept her facing him. “It's alright. I told you that I would never be mad. You can calm down. We have a chance to talk about this when you composed yourself. I will be open to whatever you choose to tell me. There is nothing you could say to disappoint me. I won't judge you or be upset, both because I trust you and because I already know most things about you. That is why what you speak about is your own choice. I see that it burdens you, and naturally, I would be glad to relieve you and am ready to listen right now. But you don't have to force yourself. If you want to do this later, we can delay this conversation as much as you want to.”

Blanche could barely believe what she was hearing. Surely, she placed her faith in him no matter what, but him saying that he did the same with her was overwhelming. The fact that he wasn't upset about her amnesia was wonderful enough. But to think that he was this gentle even though she admitted to having fooled him for two years? That made her heart ache. She would like to tell him all of that, but she couldn't. The only thing that came out was her greatest worry. “But I need to tell you before others do. If they do it first, I...”

“Then I will ask you to explain it to me. I would never believe anyone that says bad things about you. That much should be obvious, right? No matter what, I will always be on your side because you are on mine. So, if it makes you feel better, we'll wait a little while longer. There is something I haven't told you yet either. I will tell you eventually. I have to. Even if I already dread that day. Do you distrust me now because I said that?”

She hurriedly shook her head. “No. I won't ever be angry with you even if you did something you couldn't tell me about.”

Theodore leaned forward to rest his forehead on hers. “See? Why would it be different for me? I adore you as much as you love me. There is no way that I would react by pushing you away. No matter what I'm told, I will ask for your version first. And that story is the only one I'll believe. I know that you'd never betray me, so all of your worries are unnecessary. I can imagine what my brother told you, but you shouldn't pay attention to that. If there is one thing Cedar is good at, it's lying and fooling others. He picks up what hurts you and uses it against you. So, you don't need to consider his words. There may be a few truths mixed in, but since he doesn't believe in love, trust or loyalty, his opinion doesn't matter to us.”

Blanche's bottom lip was still quivering, but the tears were slowly drying up. Her lover spoke with so much sincerity that she could barely consider him to be lying. He would truly believe her. As long as he gave her a chance to explain, everything would be fine. She had never betrayed him or planned that. She had been manipulated after losing her family, and that wouldn't make him hate her.

Right?

Hopefully, he would understand. She would tell him soon. But for today, she had already reached her breaking point. She couldn't take much more. If she had the chance to rest for a while before revealing the rest, it would be fine.

The concubine had no idea how to summarize her gratefulness. “Thank you. I'll tell you. After a break. Maybe in a few days. But remember that I love you and never wanted that to happen. I got involved in troublesome matters without really knowing what was going on. With people that want to hurt you. That was before I knew what they wanted. I'm sorry. I never wanted to lie to you, but...”

Theodore slowly lifted his head to look into her eyes while moving a strand of hair away from her face. “I know. You wouldn't have done it if you had seen another choice. You only did that because you thought that it was for the best for both of us. I can assure you that I won't hold it against you. Take as much time as you need.” He gave her a soft smile and kissed her cheek. “Alright? Did you understand that I won't be angry, or do I have to repeat it a bit more often?”

Blanche wanted to meet his gaze and smile so badly, but she averted her eyes. “You said it a few times. It's still a bit complicated. The situation isn't pleasant.”

Theodore kissed her other cheek. “Then I have to repeat it again. I love you. I trust you more than anyone else. If something bad is happening, other people are involved. Do you really think that I would believe them more than you? That is ridiculous. I devoted my life to you. You'll be my wife, don't forget that. I will place you above the whole world. There is no way that I could get upset. The fact that you want to tell me only proves that you are genuine. Some external circumstances forced you to act in a way you didn't like. Do you know how often I ended up doing things I regret because of that? So, I will understand it no matter what. Is that enough, or do you want to hear it one more time?”

This time, Blanche just kissed him back and kept holding onto him. She was so glad to have such a wonderful lover. He believed her without even hearing everything. She wrapped her arms around him and tried to put all of her feelings into the kiss.

The emperor immediately pulled her closer to him and returned the kiss. Both of them were unwilling to let go. It was rather obvious that they wouldn't leave their room today and end the day with cuddling. Both of them needed that now, even if she was definitely the more desperate one.

She was too happy to contain all of those feelings. Euphoria pushed away her logical judgment and her worries, and for once, she was content with that. She wouldn't be able to keep herself from breaking down if she didn't believe her lover. His words had to hold true.

Anything else would crush her.

But she believed him. So, she would tell him the rest too and finally tear down the lie she had dreaded for two years already.