《Lazy Ash》2.Hero,Villain,and a Pain
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"Ok can you two stop fighting you are annoying the hell out of me.Its 7am and you both know how much I hate being up before 3pm."I groan.
"You know thats not healthy you should take better care of yourself."Alita says in a disapproving tone.
"I actually agree with the angel on this you are far to lazy. You dont exercise,you sleep all the time,play videos games days at a time, not even just whole nights you've literally played a whole weekend and for what?"Inari chimes in.
"Four player team on zombies round 593.Ah good times.On top of making it to 10th prestige and getting all the achievements in the game truly time well spent."I say with fond nostalgia.
"You slept for 2 days straight!!Your mother was pissed,your father kicked your ass, well tried at least your a pretty good actor faking the pain,and cut you off from games."Inari points out.
"A total overreaction on their part I mean im a straight A student not like missing a few days of school will change that. Anyway we've wasted to much time and i can feel my moms glare from the kitchen."I say with a wronged voice.
"Ash!!!!"Mom yells
Shit!
I take off towards the kitchen as fast as possible Inari and Alita behind me. Jack and Tim already there with smug looks on their face.Dad trying not to find an excuse to kick me again and mom slightly angry im late to breakfast again.I take my seat and mom takes hers and says grace then we dig in.
I should point out mom is an amazing chef that owns her own restaurant and her food kicks ass!The threats she uses against me are no supper and no snacks and if you've ever tasted her food you'd know how devastating that is.Since she insists on family breakfast every school day i have to show up, plus Alita and Inari get upset if we miss because they fell in love with moms cooking right away, so if they cant steal from my plate they get really annoying.
You might be wondering how they accomplish this? Well you ever watch those cartoons with people who have an angel and a devil on their shoulder?Yep thats my situation it really really sucks.They have to go everywhere with me as they cant be more than half a mile from me without feeling pain.Normally this isn't the case as it turns when contract is normally done the slaves generally can do everything they could before, they just have no freewill.Well as it turns out the priest got a little farther than I thought. He already had a *taste* if you catch my meaning.Which means he had a portion of their abilities and when I stole the bond well...I got more than i ever cared for. Since i stole the bond and didnt actually do any ritual I didn't get just some of their abilities I got their fucking souls too.Which means they are literally a part of me. Goddamit! moving on...
My new abilities included:even greater strength,being able to see pure and evil souls,rapid healing,multiple sights like night-vision, thermal,x-ray and aura sight.Aura sight is one I hate the most as im able to determine peoples feelings and possibly predict their next actions.Sounds cool right?Wrong!!I cant turn it off and trust me knowing when your parents are horny is a very very fucked up thing.I threw up a few times during the first week I mean dam you have three kids and your in your 40s its time to stop!Its great they love each other but still....Anyway back to skills my speed went up along with my durability so no more getting clocked in the back of the head and passing out!Finally the ability I like the most. Body control!I can literally control every part of my body down to the finest detail, I know everything about it, and how to use it to its fullest, I even know how much each body part can take.To top it off I can stay awake for days due to this and can go without food even longer.And no bathroom breaks unless i want too!Take that noobs I can kick your ass 24/7.
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"Jack,Tim bus is here!Ash get your ass out there to see them off then get marching to school!"Mom orders.
"Yes mom!"All three of us say at the same time.
(Just a note here mom rules the house with an iron fist not even dad cant handle a pissed off mom.)
"Are you ever gonna stop being lazy bro you know making mom mad isn't good for anyone."Jack asks.
"Yea I mean you cant be lazy all the time your jacked!Why do you keep pretending? You should join a sport or something make mom and dad proud instead of playing games."Tim puts his two cents in.
"Why should I change I like my life style?"I ask and tilt my head.
"Oh I dont know to make friends?Get a girlfriend?To not make mom and dad angry!"Tim says.
"Internet,Porn,and therapy.Not necessarily in that order."I say with seriousness.
"You should listen to your brothers they only want their older brother to be cooler and more responsible."Alita says with a sigh.
"Yea while doing what they said is one thing on the other i thought getting tied to a teenager would mean high school parties,drunk sex,playing the field,beating down jocks and what not.Not this! You've done nothing that benefits either of us! We get our power from you!"The annoying "Yokai" says.
"You two seem to be on the same side today..Aww your finally starting to like each other thats great."I say with fake excitement.
"Me and that bimbo please!"Inari scoffs.
"Bimbo!How dare you Demon bitch!"Alita retorts.
"Yokai!!"
I smiled knew thatd get them off my back. Easy way to get rid of two women? Pit them against each other.
After seeing my brothers off to school I started heading to mine. Good ol Mega Highschool. Sound familiar?Get used to it.Since I live about 2 miles from school the walk is not to bad especially with my abilities. Although winter still sucks.
My school is same as everyone's everybody belongs to a group and each group has its own categories. You know typical highschool.
I arrived at my first class of the day English.Mrs Demi our teacher comes in notices I have my head in a book and glares at me, she still sore about freshman year when I memorized every English textbook, and can answer all her questions with ease. Thus ignoring her for the past 2 years.I just smile back.Teachers always think their above you until you prove them wrong.
Class today we-
*BOOM*
Outside the window is a crater, in the crater is our worlds greatest hero, care to take a guess as the name of said hero?
"Oh shit is that Mega!?"
As captain obvious pointed out it was indeed Mega. Sound familiar? And it seems hes getting his ass kicked....This outta be good!
"Why do you look so happy?"Alita asks.
"Because this outta be good plus that pain in the ass teacher looks a bit miffed to be interrupted.And to top it off his opponent is Dread Knight one of the few villains that can kill him!"I say with excitement.
"How can you be like this we should be helping him not excited at the prospect of him dieing!"Alita frowns.
"Im with Ash this outta be a good show."Inari sits on my shoulder.
Smiling at each other Inari and i turn back to the fight.Mega shoots outta the crater like a beam of light and throws a punch at Dread Knight who just calmly raises his shield and blocks the attack then backhands Mega into a classroom.
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Dread Knight is a villain with incredible abilities his armor was actually a gift from a knight of hell according to Alita. He was given it due to his great service when he helped end an entire country!No one knows the role he played but demons and me, but for a normal man to do that for power is just fucked up.
The armor gives him enormous strength allowing him to punch a hole in a diamond wall with ease.It allows him to fly at the speed of a jet gives him protection against anything magical and most physical objects. He has an unbreakable shield and a sword that can cut through anything and when he actually gets hurt the armor heals him.
Plus that armor looks badass think the Lich King went to hell and youd get a rough image just more spikey and the armor is so black youd lose your soul if stared into to long.
Mega on the other hand is your all american hero look.Red spandex suit with MEGA! printed on the front,dark brown hair, abs so ripped he could grate a girder on those things, hes tall and handsome with all the chiseled features youd expect.For a guy whos pushing 150 not bad right?
Why am I not rooting for this guy?
Nerds are vengeful bastards!This guy was definitely a jock and I despise the little bastards with an unholy passion!
Anyway hes got your godsend of powers: super speed,strength,flight,invulnerability and the ability to shoot a bolt of pure energy so powerful it could power New York for a month!So why is he losing?
Because Magic!
Magic is something noone truly understands and has the annoying ability to mess with shit.Like Megas invulnerability. Dude could take a nuke to the face but shoot him with a magic fireball?He'll turn extra crispy.
Which is why Dread Knight is winning, hes all magic, demon magic but still magic.
"Give up and die you are not my match everyone knows your weakness.You have no chance this is a decent place to die. I can see the headline now:Mega dies at Mega High!Dread Knight murders everyone!"Dread Knight says with a laugh.
Following his evil cackle that makes nails on the chalkboard sound pleasing, my smile faded.
"Crap now I gotta help!"I say getting a little pissed.
"Finally you see that doing the right thing is the right way!"Alita beams.
Alita and Inari both stare at me with varying expressions Alita in shock and Inari in surprise.
"I always thought you were to lazy to give a dam about anything but to think you actually care about these people, great another goody twos shoes is born!"Says an annoyed Inari
Alita just beamed.
Yea no.I just dont want to have explain why im the only survivor.
I turn and look at D.Knight and wave my hand all the air in his lungs falls into my hand and I watch him drop.
Mega noticing this takes the opportunity to grab him and proceeds to wail on him with such force the windows shatter and the concrete walls start to crack.I wince that has got to hurt!After a few minutes Dread Knight finally goes limp and Mega stops mercilessly beating him.
"How?How..did you do it..?"He manages between coughs.
"I didn't."Mega says confused
"I see you...had help hiding ....pathetic.."
Dread Knight finally blacks out while Mega looks around in confusion, as he too is stumped on who helped him, then he takes off with Dread Knight in tow.
Alita is practically bursting at the seams with happiness.
"Oh Ash I knew you had it in you with a bit more work well have you as the number one hero in no time!"
......
Inari and I were speechless.Did she completely ignore my reason for helping!?
"Never gonna happen."I throw out
"You say that but I know it felt good to help remember were connected."She smirks.
At this point she looked so adorable i couldn't crush her spirit. Inari on the other hand.
"He only did because if he didn't it would be annoying. If Dread Knight won hed lose valuable play time and reading time.Plus he would have to come up with a valid excuse on why he didnt die."Inari crushes.
I could honestly hear Alitas heart cracking as her smile dropped and she turn and looked at me with a disappointing glare so powerful it hurt.
"Ill volunteer at the church.."I said with a little fear.
I couldn't meet her eyes as I mumbled this but its the only thing that would save me at this point.
Why did God give women the ability to instill so much guilt with a look.Its not fair!
"Twice a week for 3 months."She states.
I felt like coughing up blood. Twice a week for 3 months!?Thats ridicules!
As if sensing my mood.
In an voice that would make women everywhere sigh in praise.
"Do we have a problem!?"
"No...."I say in defeat.
"Good." She then sits on my shoulder still slightly pissed off.
"Dam when women get pissed at you, you fold pretty quick, your so screwed if you ever get married lol."Inari laughs.
"Laugh it up im gonna make you help."I tell her.
"What the hell did I do!?"
Mrs.Demi: "Now class back to what I was saying.Ash read from where we left off of last time and answer the questions at the end please."
Hearing her smug tone I narrow my eyes and smile so this is how its gonna be huh?Bring it bitch.
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If you run into colored text in the next chapter I refer you to chapter 1.
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