Tired, in pain and in dire need of a shower, I finally stood up. It had been a couple minutes since I killed the ugly fucker that was sprawled on the ground, headless, next to me. I am sure the area was filled with an awful stink, but at this point I think my sense of smell was dulled. I grabbed my sledgehammer and made my way across the corpse littered street.

A hazy blue mist permeated the air in front of the auditorium. It didn’t have any scent, not that I could trust my nostrils amidst this carnage. I carefully stepped over the eerie remains. The last thing I needed was to slip and fall face first onto some dead goblin. As I waded through, I realized something weird. The bodies of the little fuckers were slowly losing their shapes, as if becoming fluid, melting. And the blue mist seemed to emanate from their remains.

I am sure there was something interesting to be understood out of this phenomena, but my only wish was that it wasn’t somehow a toxic cloud of plagued remains. I tried to hold my breath while I accelerated my steps towards the building, but it didn’t matter. There were hundreds of corpses inside as well.

Well, shit.

Steeling myself, I took a deep breath. Whatever. I probably had inhaled loads of this mist already. Might as well move forward.

Nearing the broken glass doors I passed by some dead humans. I avoided looking. It was… hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mrs Aya and Mr Kando. The thoughtful couple who, despite the situation we were in, had found enough compassion to care about me. As noncombatants they were probably fine. Probably. I hoped they were.

Looking dead ahead, I did my best to avoid looking at the floor as I passed by more corpses. The silence was unnerving. As I neared the hallway that gave access to the auditorium I finally started hearing people. The voices were low, almost like a whisper in the wind. I heard someone crying, and the sound of chairs being moved. The blue mist was thick in here. It wasn’t so much that it was difficult to see, but enough to make it hard to ignore.

My expectations for the situation inside the auditorium were bad, despite my best attempts to remain overall positive. But the scene that welcomed me as I opened the door was something I couldn’t be prepared for. The chairs were everywhere, upturned, broken, piled, deformed and twisted.

The bodies... What a horrifying scene. Dozens and dozens of bodies lay scattered around the entrance. The majority of it were the goblins, but there were plenty of humans. Too many. Long gashes across the abdominal section from where the innards spilled. Eyes poked out. Jutting bones, broken in terrifying angles. I couldn’t look for long. In my haste to move away from the entrance and deeper into the auditorium, where the bodies were far less in number, I almost slipped in the pooling blood. As I looked over the survivors I felt my heart tightening inside my chest.

Mrs Aya!

I don’t know why I cared so much for someone I had just met, barely a day ago, but I did. Sometimes you don’t understand your feelings, you just feel them. I glanced at the bodies, trying to avoid staring too much and hoping I wouldn’t recognize her among the dead.

The corpses were not concentrated in one area, but spread everywhere. I looked at the spot where Johann’s group had spent the night. There were a number of people there. It's hard to point out how many they had last night and how many they have now, but it certainly looked to be a smaller number. Considerably so.

They all looked battered and haggard. John was the first one I recognized. His large frame was hard to miss. He sat against a wall, seemingly drained of his energies. He had small puncture marks all over his body. Small cuts and bruises dressed his skin like patterns on a leopard. His shirt was in tatters, revealing the powerfully built body underneath. The machete lay beside him, blue blood pooling underneath. The tendrils of blue smoke coming out of it were thick enough I could see from where I stood.

He glanced at me, but I could only see exhaustion in his eyes. I couldn’t hold his gaze for long. Somehow I felt responsible for what happened here. I know I wasn’t, but maybe I could have made a difference if I had prepared myself properly? Although logic told me otherwise, I felt differently. I knew the only reason I managed to kill so many was because the circumstances were greatly in my favor. But if I was here? Facing a wave of them with an uncoordinated group of people in a relative open area? I am sure it wouldn’t go so smoothly. But the voice in the back of my head kept nagging me. What if? What if?

Fuck. I can’t change the past, can I? I need to accept it.

I slowly made my way towards Johann’s group. I still couldn’t see him, but the people in the group were constantly moving about. They were distributing water and food, but also trying to take care of the people who were hurt and mentally shocked. The potty bellied rude man had survived. He had a blank look as he stared at the wall. He seemed physically well. A few bruises and a couple of cuts on his chest, but otherwise fine. But mentally? I imagine this is how people look when something snaps inside of them.

Turning away from the pitiful man I kept walking towards the center of the group. I passed by people who essentially didn’t even see me. Too much on their minds to realize a stranger was in their midst. They were probably still quite unfamiliar with each other, one more face wouldn’t matter. I looked around and moved between people. Some of them had horrible wounds that I am not sure they would survive the day without proper medical care, which wasn’t something I expected us to find here. A couple of the elderly seemed to be the most traumatized by what happened. Their eyes seemed lost, devoid of any semblance of emotion. It was hard to look at them. They reminded me of Mrs Aya and my anxiety just grew stronger.

“Leo, right?” Someone called out to me.

I turned to where the sound came from. Johann was sitting down on a chair while a red headed woman stitched a long gash on his right arm. It went all the way from his shoulder to his biceps. Besides this nasty wound, Johann seemed to be otherwise fine. He didn’t look as exhausted as John had been.

Seems like I was wrong about the lack of proper medical care. She was surprisingly deft with the needle and line. Her freckled face frowned in concentration as she applied a solution to his wound before giving him another stitch. Johann flinched, but was otherwise undisturbed.

“Yes. I’m Leo, Mr Johann.” I replied politely, more by reflex than anything else.

“It’s quite the weapon you have there, Leo. Is that a sledgehammer?” Johann pointed at the weapon in my hand. “We could have used your help. In the fight, you know.” He spoke between stitches.

“Don’t move so much, Johann. Do you want me to mess this up?” The medic admonished Johann. Her voice was imposing and her tone commanding. He apologized, but didn’t seem to care much. Thankfully, the timely interjection of his caretaker gave me enough time to recover and muster a proper answer. His words had been unexpected. They rattled me a little.

“Yeah, I know. I planned to be here and help, but circumstances didn’t allow me to.” I said as neutrally as I could. Johann’s blue eyes stared at me veiled in indifference. If something was hidden behind it, I couldn’t tell.

“Have you seen Mrs Aya and Mr Kando? I haven’t been able to find them yet.” Although Johann seemed like a nice guy, and I was curious to know what kind of person it took to organize such a large group of people, my anxiety only grew as time passed.

“The old japanese couple?” He avoided my gaze for an instant, and I could almost see a frown on his forehead, but he recovered in the blink of an eye. My heart tightened. “I think she is at the back, closer to the wall, there.” Johann pointed to a general direction and I followed with my eyes. Some people stood in front, obstructing my vision. I am not sure if I thanked him or just had the intention to. Before I knew it I was brushing past people.

It’s hard to explain how I felt. It’s challenging to put it in words when emotional pain suddenly becomes physical. The sight of the disheveled Mrs Aya covered in blood while hugging Mr Kando’s lifeless body in a dark corner of the auditorium crushed me. I trudged among the broken chairs and decaying goblin remains. My body was suddenly numb, and all I could think was how painful it must be for Mrs Aya. How pitiful and devastated she looked. Her eyes darted around the room, as if expecting someone to come and tell her this was not real. That her husband wasn’t dead and that it would all be fine.

My knees hit the floor hard and I hugged her. I didn’t care if it was proper, or the right thing to do. I dropped my weapon and just hugged her with my shaky hands while resting my face on her thin shoulder. Despite all the blood on her, my dulled nose caught a waft of jasmine.

“Young Leo, do you know when the ambulance will come? I think Kando needs help. He has been bleeding a little. I am sure if he has some proper care he will be fine.” Mrs Aya's soft voice was like a whisper, faint and elusive. I could barely register the words before the tears came flooding down my face. I don’t know why, maybe I wasn’t crying because of her alone, but also because of me. I was suddenly afraid, unsure, insecure, terrified and weak.

“Young Leo, are you crying? That is not something a handsome young man like you should be doing. What will the ladies think of you.” The emotional load I had been holding back suddenly became too heavy. Mrs Aya tried to comfort me, but it just allowed the floodgates to open and I wept.