It was here. The plot that had been kicked off by my not-so-accidental summoning to another world had finally reached its climax. The unintentional marriages, the selective amnesia, the seemingly unrelated conflicts I’d witnessed throughout my journey; all of it led to this point in time.

I stood at the head of a long table, all the comrades I’d met during my time here seated around it. From the ones who’d been there since the beginning, Arsral and Arswen, who was not such a little boy anymore, to the ones I’d met just hours ago, everyone was gathered here to fight the threat to the worlds, both mine and theirs.

And I would be leading them.

There was a jug of water placed in front of me. I poured some water into a glass and gulped it down. The room was silent as I drank.

I placed the empty glass on the table and cleared my throat.

“Thank you all for coming at such short notice,” I said. “I know it couldn’t have been easy, especially for you and your compatriots.”

I nodded at the beastman located a few seats on my right. He’d had to travel from the other side of the continent and I was amazed he’d actually gotten here on time. Maybe I shouldn’t have, considering he was the head of the Cheetah tribe, and stamina potions were now readily available to them thanks to my efforts.

“Think nothing of it,” he replied, tail waving behind him. “It is a husband’s duty to answer any calls for help from his wife.”

“Wait, you guys are married?” the winged man who I’d met only hours ago blurted out in shock. “I thought you were married to her!”

“I am,” the mermaid said, inspecting her scales. For this meeting, the dragonfolk sitting next to her had helpfully conjured a ball of water for her to reside in so she didn’t dry out. “Actually, I think most of us are married to her in one way or another.”

“Seriously?” the winged man said. “There’s no way. Raise your hand if you’re married to Joan.”

Almost everyone at the table raised their hand, some more enthusiastically than others.

“Holy crap, Joan. You got game. Can I get in on that?”

“We’ve gotten off topic,” I announced, ignoring that last bit. “We’re here to discuss our plan of action, not my many spouses.”

The mood in the room sobered.

“With the help of many, I’ve devised a plan that will allow me to get close to the threat and, hopefully, end its existence. Arswen, if you will.”

Arswen, now almost as tall as me, pulled the curtain covering a part of the wall aside, revealing the detailed depiction of the plan. There was a moment of silence as everyone took it in.

“Now, I know it looks-”

Everyone raised protests at almost the exact same time. Having expected this, I conjured a gavel and banged it against the table.

“Quiet! I’m talking!”

Even with my best glare, it still took a minute for everyone to settle down.

“Now, as I was saying, I’m sure almost all of you are opposed to this plan. I know, it looks like it’ll never work. But our best minds have been hard at work and what you see before you is the culmination of all that time and effort. Listen closely, because I’m only going to explain this once…”

When I’d finished talking, everyone looked more of less convinced about the effectiveness of the plan. Of course, there were still sceptics.

“But Joan, the tools required to pull this off…”

I smiled.

“Oh, don’t you worry. I’ve got everything we need right here. Bring it in!”

The door opened and the object I’d commissioned my dwarven wife and her family for was carried in. With a grand flourish, I opened the case.

“This is the crux of our plan!”

I patted the matte black finish and grinned.

This was going to be awesome.

“Squad 3, what’s your status!” I yelled into the com-stone.

Around me, screams of fear and rage sounded from the clash between my forces and the threat’s mindless offshoots. On my right, an offshoot extended a shadowy tendril and stabbed clean through a nymph’s heart; on my left, an elf nocked an arrow and shot that very same offshoot.

“Half of us are wiped out already,” the grim voice on the other end said. “And Squad 2 is completely wiped out. Wings and flight spells still don’t work. But we’ve managed to eliminate the ones you told us to.”

“Thank you,” I said. “When this is all over, we’ll erect a memorial for all those who’ve perished.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now go and end this already!”

I looked at those around me. For the first time, I allowed myself to acknowledge the apprehension flitting through my veins. Then I hoisted the thing this entire plan centred around onto my shoulder.

The wind spirits had cast their blessing on me. I ran faster than I ever had before and hit no barriers. As reported, all the offshoots maintaining the protection skills had been killed.

The moment came for me to jump. I gather all the strength in my legs, and leapt up. It wasn’t enough. I was nowhere near close or high up enough to reach the threat. But I still grinned.

At the very top of the arc, I aimed the weapon at the ground. I fired it. The ground beneath me exploded. The force propelled me up into the air.

I flew. People below stopped fighting momentarily to gape.

All too quickly, I was as high as I would go. I aimed the rocket launcher at the threat, and pulled the trigger. The missile impacted the threat with complete accuracy.

The missile exploded.

The threat was obliterated.

It was the perfect execution of a rocket jump.

When the threat finally went down, I screamed for the whole battlefield to hear:

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“APRIL FOOLS!”