***** Wiki’s POV, 7:15 AM *****

Once the lights came on, Anderson’s Unnamed Adventurers simply stood there staring at the room behind me. I’m not sure what impressed them the most, the floating plants, the Tesla Coils, or the functional simplicity of the space, but they all stood there for at least a minute simply staring at everything while I did my best to not impede their view with as little Mana as possible.

Shelvin was the first to move, and he plucked one of the floating plants out of the air and began examining it. The plant consisted of a vine like ring that is 12.7 cm across and 2 cm thick with four equally spaced balloon like bulges spaced evenly around the outside. Inside the ring there was a mass of interwoven fibers that completely filled the space while still leaving plenty of room for air to get through.

“So this is what you meant when you said we had no idea what we’re getting ourselves into,” said Anderson now that Shelvin broke the apparent spell on the entire party.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” I replied, shaking my head gently. If I had a mouth, I’d have been smirking a bit, but, sadly, I only have a featureless faceplate.

“What kind of plant is this!?” demanded Shelvin, seemingly oblivious to our conversation. “Who would create such a thing!? Why would they do so!? For that matter, how would they do so!?”

“Air filtration that doesn’t depend on any central power system of the starship to continue functioning.” I replied.

“Why would you need this much air filtration?” asked Bobert.

“Well, I’d assume it’s because a Starship, whatever manner of ship that may be, travels places where there is little to no breathable air available," answered Anderson.

"Try no air at all, breathable or otherwise," I corrected. "Yes, a starship of any significant size is going to have two or three times as much air as they actually need in case of leaks or catastrophic hull failure, but that air is reserved for emergencies. Normally, a room like this would be buried in the heart of the ship, but this room also doubles as the greenhouse and recreation area for a large section of the ship, so the dungeon decided to put it here since it looks nice and doesn't really fit with the challenges in the rest of the dungeon."

"So, there's no danger in here?" asked Toejam.

"There's danger everywhere! In this room though, there's only three sources of danger: idiocy, someone releasing an airborne poison, and the lighting mushroom things, which are called Tesla coils."

"Wait there's a poison in here!?" demanded Anderson.

"No, the danger is only if someone brings their own airborne poison and releases it in here. Even then, the danger is only for the person who released the airborne poison as the filter plants will swarm them in an attempt to filter the poison out of the air. The lethality of the swarm depends on the strength of the poison. As for idiocy-"

"Stupid does stupid. Is life. Live with it." interjected Ton.

"Precisely. Speaking of stupid, the Tesla coils are only dangerous if you get too close to their lightning. Too close is anywhere inside the plantless circle around them.

"Now, with that out of the way, there are a few things in this room I’d like to point out. First, the statues in the middle of the room represent the dungeon core and his fairy. The pyramid headed creature is called a Shihoth Nor, and they’re the ones who originally built the starship that has become this dungeon,” I said.

“Are we going to face one in this dungeon?” asked Anderson.

“Nope. For various reasons, they are too much of a danger to the dungeon to be used as monsters.

“Moving on, the boxes along the edges of the room are vending machines of various types. Once you’ve browsed their selection and found what you want, insert the indicated amount of coinage and select what you want, and the machine will give it to you along with the correct change. Trying to cheat or steal from the vending machines will significantly decrease your standing with the dungeon, as well as summon an Enforcer to make you pay twice the value of what you tried to take. If you’re a fight-happy idiot and simply want to fight the Enforcer, for some stupid reason, tell me and I’ll arrange it.”

“After calling us ten different kinds of stupid I presume,” interjected Pogofamous.

“Affirmative,” I nodded at him. “I assume you can read the signs labeling the Hall of Heroes and the Memorial of the Fallen.”

“Yes, but reading isn’t a common skill,” said Ragnar “Only about thirty percent of the population can read, and only two thirds of those who can read know how to write.”

“Right. In that case, we’ll add reading and writing skill books to the common loot list,” I muttered, shaking my head in disbelief.

“But those cost several platinum a piece! Why would you waste resources on a luxury item like that!?” demanded Anderson.

“Because the world from which we came assumes everyone with the mental capacity to read can do so. Eventually, there will probably be sections of the dungeon where having an insufficient reading speed can be a big issue, possibly even fatal. Besides, skill books themselves aren’t that expensive to make. The expensive thing is the effort required to store the skill in the book, and the rarity of the skills themselves. After he makes the first one, the dungeon won’t have that problem. He can just copy the one he already has.”

“The scribes guild will not be happy about that,” said Toejam.

“Oh, they have nothing to fear. Our skill books won’t make people a match for a trained scribe except maybe in reading speed. Everything else a scribe will still be able to do better and with neater handwriting. If they still get mad at us, we'll find something else that we can train them to do instead."

"You make it sound like you're going to be opening a college rather than a dungeon," grumbled Toejam.

"Eventually, yes. A dungeon gets its power from people visiting its territory from outside. Sure, there is a big spike when someone dies in the dungeon, but that is nothing in the face of getting them to come back to the dungeon time and time again. There will always be the sorts of things you'd find in a traditional dungeon, but they're far from the only things this dungeon will offer."

"Won't that compromise the dungeon's defenses?" asked Anderson. "You're wasting all of that space on other things that could be used to protect the core."

"The dungeon is aware of this problem and has taken steps to solve it. Do not rephrase the question in hopes of getting a different answer, because you won't.

"Finally, the last thing I need to call to your attention before we head into the dungeon proper is the locker rooms located in the back corners of this room. The one on your left is for males and the other is for females. Inside of each are showers, changing areas, bathrooms, and lockers for your weapons and armor. Your hotel room came with a free locker that is reserved for your entire stay and will be accessible from your room now that you're registered with the dungeon. Also, if you collect some loot that you'd rather not carry around for the rest of your dungeon dive, give it to me right after I give your leader the key from that room, and I'll have one of my minions store it safely in your locker. If you need to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water, I suggest you do it now. When you're ready to start, I'll be waiting by the door to the dungeon area."

With that, they all wandered off to inspect the locker rooms, the last of them joining me again ten minutes later.

"So we're all here now, which section should we tackle first?" asked Anderson.

"Since this is your first run, I'd recommend taking the Courage and Trust rooms first, as they are designed to teach you about how I interact with your party and various aspects of the dungeon. Now, if you'll all follow me, we can begin.

"The first thing you need to know is that when I'm in my default black and blue coloration, I'm here to serve as your guide and actively help you clear a room to the best of my abilities."

"Wait, so if you change colors it's because your actions are about to change?" asked Anderson.

“Precisely. As such, any time I change colors away from black and blue, I will make sure you know that I’m changing. Another thing to keep in mind is I will always tell you everything I think you need to know to clear the room before I change, or there will be someone else there who can answer your questions in my stead.

“With that said, you don’t need to worry about me changing colors quite yet. For this first room all you need to do is walk down the bridge.”

“What’s the catch?” asked Anderson.

“You’ll see. It’s rather hard to explain.”

Then we stepped into the room and they saw the bridge for the first time.

“You’re a lying piece of scrap!” yelled Toejam. “How is it possible to walk down the bridge!?”

“Like this,” I said, picking him up in a bear hug and walking halfway around the first spiral before setting him down. He was flailing at me the whole time, but only succeeded in severely bruising his hand.

“That doesn’t answer my question!” he yelled.

“Hey Toejam, you do realise your standing upside down at the moment, yeah?” called Anderson.

“Uh…”

“I don’t feel good,” said Ton holding his head, then staggering sideways towards the railing, where he started to fall over it.

I teleported down the walkway and hauled him back from the edge with one hand, then gently sat him down.

“Are you ok? How long have you been feeling bad?” I asked.

“Got dizzy when step on bridge. Fine before.”

“Now why would… Oh. You’re a full half meter taller than the dungeon expected anyone to be when he designed the bridge. Your head is in the center of the gravity gradient that makes this room possible, and it messed up the balance sensing part of your inner ear, telling it all sorts of things that didn’t agree with what the rest of your body was saying.”

“Huh?” asked Toejam.

“To put it simply, he got seasick because he was too tall. The dungeon will fix that after you guys leave. For now, he’s just going to have to crouch-walk across the bridge.”

“Wait, just how strong are you?” asked Anderson. “You didn’t seem to have any trouble pulling him back from the edge and he weighs quite a bit.”

“As a suit of armor, I was rated to withstand being chewed on by a dragon for half an hour, and that was before I got enchanted. I was also designed to make my wearer faster and stronger while wearing me.”

“So you’re saying that you’re quite a bit heavier than you look.”

“If I deactivate all of the mass canceling enchantments, I’m close to a metric ton.

“Anyway, enough about me. Now that Ton is feeling better, let’s move on to the next room.”