Chapter 32

It has been a few days since our meeting with the lord and both Thundernation and I finally received our citizenship cards. We can now officially work and find a place to stay.

Don’t get me wrong, the Old man’s house is good. It’s surprisingly big and spacious and isn’t run down either; I just don’t want to live next to a porn shop anymore.

Why you ask? Well, one it’s a porn shop, and two I seem to be constantly mistaken as a product rather than an employee. Since the Saintess is sick of this place as well, we were determined to move.

The Old man understood but was sad nonetheless. “I’ll miss you guys. You were the third best things to happen in my life.”

“What were the first two?” I asked.

“The first was to be born handsome and the second was not to suffer from erectile dysfunction. Hehe, even at this age I’m still good to go.”

I could see the Saintess resisting the urge to gag, so I quickly ended the conversation there. “Thanks for everything. You really helped us out.”

“Don’t sweat it. You already paid backed your debt. If you ever find yourself in trouble, you can always come back.”

“It will be our last resort.”

As we left the shop behind, I began to think about our future and what to do next. Fortunately the Saintess had a plan.

“Pebble, you go find a job. Thundernation and I will find a place to live.” She glanced at the money we had saved up. “We should be okay for maybe a month or two, but try to find something sooner than later.”

“Got it. I’ll do my best.”

“Hmm. Will you be alright on your own?”

“I CAN GO WITH-.”

“I have Advice. It’s fine.”

I left before Thundernation could start to argue with me. Seriously, if he doesn’t fix that possessive personality, he won’t get married.

…Can he get married? For some reason I think of two humans as the default when I picture marriage…

Pebble, don’t get distracted. You’re job hunting remember?

Oh, right! See, I knew Advice got my back. A true comrade.

Yes, yes, now how about you try to find a job at another, more respectable shop? Or perhaps working at an eatery?

Agreeing with advice, I tried to find shops and restaurants that were looking to hire another worker.

“Sorry, nothing is open right now.”

So I tried again.

“We literally just hired someone yesterday. Sorry.”

…and again.

“I don’t think you could even wash dishes with those hands. Try somewhere else.”

After more attempts and an equal amount of rejections I leaned against a wall and sat down. Thinking no one was around; I couldn’t help but mumble out my frustrations.

“Who even wants to work at those shitty places anyway? I hope they all burn down in a fire… Or get sued into bankruptcy… Or be targeted by terrorist attacks.”

“Whoa, that’s some pretty dark things your saying there friend.”

I jerked my head up to the unexpected voice. Standing next to me was an impeccably dressed skeleton wearing a black tuxedo and a bowler hat. Even though he was just bones, he somehow oozed out this dignified aura that demanded respect.

While still being awed, I was able to answer. “Sorry, I didn’t actually mean what I said. I was just irritated.”

“That much I could tell. You mentioned work, were you perhaps fired?”

“No, I was trying to get hired actually.”

He nodded in understanding. “Ah, yes the job hunt. Where no amount of preparation can help you in truth and your fate is decided by a single person. One of life’s greatest trials, second only to marriage.”

“So you went through the same thing huh?” I kinda felt that we had something in common.

“No, I started my own business and make millions in gold every year. I was actually on my way back to my mansion right now.”

“…I see.”

“Say, since you’re in need of a job, how would you like to work for my company?”

Before I could immediately accept, Advice cut in.

Pebble, don’t just blindly accept, you don’t even know what the business is. Ask some questions first.

Whew, that was close. If Advice was a physical person, I’d have already married them.

“What sort of business do you run?”

“I own many graveyards around the city and also have a funeral service that we provide. Right now I’m currently in need of grave keepers. Are you interested?”

“I am, but if you don’t mind me asking, why me? I’m just a random stranger.”

“This is true, but I feel like the air around you reeks of death. It caught my interest and when I followed the scent, it led me to you. I think you would be quite comfortable in a graveyard.”

It sounded legitimate and I couldn’t find any reason to turn him down, so I accepted.

“Good. Excuse my rudeness for not introducing myself, I am Edward Stonedead.”

“My name is Pebble.”

“Walk with me Pebble. Let me tell you about being a grave keeper.”

With that, I was officially hired and got my first real job.