Ted giggled. A sewing machine. Of all the things to find, he found a sewing machine and sewing kit!

One might not realize the use of such a device, if one was an absolute cretin. Ted was many things, but a cretin probably wasn't one of them.

The biggest use one could get out of sewing tools? The most useful thing ever invented by mankind barring MAYBE the ballpoint pen, the greatest piece of human ingenuity such that has never been successfully improved upon:

Pockets. Holsters. Holsters counted as highly specialized pockets, right? At the very least, those would definitely be added.

Sheaths, too, to store his pool cue spears! Ted let out a long cackle of delight. Take that, god! Things were turning up Ted for once!

He stood up for a moment and did a small jig. "Go Ted, its your birthday, go Ted, its your birthday, its your birthday."

If anyone saw Ted at that moment he'd probably curl up and die of embarrassment, but at the moment, things like dignity took a back seat to the sheer, unbridled GLEE he felt. Sure, neither pockets nor holsters nor sheaths were a particularly COOL investment, but the sheer, unbridled practicality.

Calming down a bit, he sat back down, and continued his mad pocket based frenzy.

Gained skill Sewing! 50% XP to Scrounger level! Junk-Craft level up! 60% XP to Scrounger level!

Ted let out another giggle. At this rate, he'd have another Scrounger level in no time, and as a reward, another perk to spend!

He finished up his sewing.

Okay. Time to do something really dumb.

Ted...was going to clear out this floor again.

After all, if he cleared it out, he'd, again, have a bit of breathing room. And this time, he was leaving NOTHING to chance: when he finished, he'd set up some barricades to block the zombies from crawling up to this level of the building, expanding his "base" of sorts to the entire floor from formerly just his apartment.

Standing up, Ted peeked out his door. Yup. Still a lot of ghouls. Still two coke-zombos. Right. Time to start plan: search and destroy.

Creeping into the hallway, Ted decided his first order of business was denying his foes their primary sense once more. Moving swiftly to the light-switch, he quickly flipped it off, once more bathing the hallway in darkness.

Ted closed his eyes, and began listening. Right. Closest zombie was ten feet away, and moving closer. Rager, judging from the more agressive sounding growl. Ted let it get closer and...

THUN-KRUNCH. THUN-KRUNCH. THUN-KRUNCH. Three hits rapid, since Ted doubted one would be enough to put it down.

Rager slain! 50 XP!

Strike one Rager. Instead of waiting, Ted rapidly dashed to the next source of growling and gave another swing of his pan.

THUNK-KRUNCH.

Shambler slain! 10 XP! Level up! +3 AGI, +1 PER, +3 Free Stat Points, Lockpick rank up, Shiv rank up, gained skill Parkour! Blackcloak rank up! +1 Perk Point.

Parkour (Rare) Rank 1: The french art involving the traversal between two points using the quickest means possible.

Ted staggered for a moment as suddenly his vision was filled with...shapes. He rapidly blinked, realizing that for whatever reason, this level up had granted him the ability to see in the dark. Not well, but now he could make out distinct shapes as opposed to using his sense of hearing to guage an approaching foes closeness.

'Handy,' thought Ted as he gripped the handle of his pan tighter. He went for the nearest shape and quickly performed another three rounds rapid on its skull.

Rager slain! 50 XP!

Right. There HAD been about seven ghouls on the floor. Scratch three, that left four.

THUN-KRUNCH. THUN-KRUNCH. THUN-KRUNCH. THUN-KRUNCH.

And then there were none.

Shambler slain! Shambler slain! Shambler slain! Shambler slain! Total XP: 80! Floor Clear Bonus: 25 XP. Summoning Floor Boss.

Victory Conditions: Survive 5 minutes.

Secondary Conditions:

Slay the Boss.

Remain Uninjured.

Use (1) Red Mana Spell.

Again?!

Ted breathed in and out. At least this time he'd be more prepared: his stats were better, his perks were better, and this time, he had the element of darkness on his side. Keeping his eye out, Ted quickly noted a shape descending from the stairwell. Floor boss, presumably. He drew his shotgun and cocked it. Right. Last time, the floor boss had taken several pistol shots to the face point blank and shrugged it off. Lets see how she dealt with a twelve guage instead.

Creeping up, he noticed the thing twitching in the dark, its exact features hidden from Teds gaze. Probably listining for something, anything to go attack.

Ted raised the shotgun. Not today, Elmer Fudd. Rabbit seasons over. With that, he pulled the trigger, causing a loud bang and knocking Ted flat on his rear.

Gained skill Bracing! Gained skill Shotguns!

Bracing (Ubiquitous) Rank 1: The skill governing ones ability to brace itself for an incoming impact.

Shotguns (Common) Rank 1: Guns typically used for hunting or home defence, shotguns provide lots of force in exchange for performing poorly at range.

Ooof. Ted mentally groaned. That was gonna be sore tommorow. His eyes adjusted and he quickly spotted the floor boss, who had, thankfully, also been knocked to the ground. Ted quickly stood up again, pumped the shotgun, and aimed at approximately where the head was.

BANG.

Ted was pushed back a little, but didn't relent.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Soon, the figure stopped moving. Ted paused for a moment.

BANG.

"Not gonna risk it," he said, before leaning down and, pulling out his flashlight, shining it to reveal...

Mrs Vogel?!

That didn't make sense! He killed her! She was dead!

Calm down, calm down, it might not be her. The face is pretty unrecognizable. The fact that she's wearing the EXACT SAME SET OF CLOTHES could just be a horrible, nightmarish coincidence, because the alternative was...

Mrs. Vogel slain! 60 XP! Level up! +3 to AGI and PER! +2 Free Stat Points, Blackcloak rank up, +1 Perk Point!

That something was bringing Mrs. Vogel back from the dead. That permanently killing her was impossible. Which meant the same thing might very well apply to the REST of the ghouls. Meaning that clearing them out or buying himself room was impossible. Which meant that Ted was grossly, grotesquely BONED.

Ted breathed in and out. Right. Right. Right. Just. Just had to escape from the building all in one go. Just get past all the monsters and get out into the open, while transporting a small fragile bunny.

Easy-peasy!

....Ted groaned. He was DOOMED.

End of Chapter 1.8