Akif POV

“MOTHA FUCKIN SWEETROLLS!”, an exited Eliyon exclaims with the vigour of a male Dunedime beast that somehow got into the female breeding pen.

“Yes, Eliyon. Sweet rolls”, I tell her as I munch on the white lazed “Sweet roll”. The stuff it is covered with look oddly familiar to what my own body produces, but from personal experience, the taste is extremely different.

If my cum tasted like this, I have a feeling the two ladies would be draining me daily. No… they already do that.

I keep pondering on an apt word to describe what they would be doing to me if I tasted like that, when I hear Venali cutely chuckling while eating a cake of some sort.

I have no idea what it is, but it looks delicious. “Rum cream” is apparently that yellowy white cream stuff oozing out of the layers of crunchy bread. At least I think it is bread?

“You really like your pastries, don’t you, Eliyon?”, she asks her in a humorous voice.

Atre remarks mid bite;

“If we didn’t live so far away from any decent bakers, she would have been a fucking mountain by now”.

“HEY! It’s not that bad!”, She exclaims.

“Eli… You want to kidnap a baker so that you have a constant access to pastries as we travel. Yes… it is that bad”, I tell her offhandedly as I finish of my “MOTHA FUCKIN SWEETROLL”.

“You! Be quiet! I am an enthusiast of the finer arts of pastry making!”, she tells us in embarrassment.

“I have no fucking clue what half of the words you just said means, but it sounds like something I should keep an eye on”, I tell her with a smirk.

“Nu`uh! Nope! Nada! Niet! I am a strong and independent woman!”.

“Are you now… Where are your cats?”, Sera asks her while shoving the last piece of a cakeish substance into her mouth.

“HEY!”

The innocent teasing of Eliyon continues until we find the adventurers guild. Venali has some friends inside she wants to talk to, so we said “Fuck it! We are coming”.

What we didn’t expect is that Tittysaurus 3 is here. She is talking with a cute, young receptionist, but doesn’t fail to notice us coming.

“Your majesties”, She tells us with a deep curtsey.

Now… that is a remarkable change in behaviour.

I can see Venali`s face change from happiness to utter and complete shock.

I look over to Atre and Eliyon, and see them practically face palming at her exclamation. The entire guild is looking at us right now, and it is dead silent.

Just like in the arena…

Atre is the first one to speak.

“Be as you were. We aren’t here on any official business. We are just following a friend”.

Eliyon looks over at the noble lady, and tells her;

“Hello Valeria. Is there something wrong? It is unusual to see you and your son in this district”.

“Aah… Princess…My son is registering as an adventurer here, but they didn’t have any instructors ready for him to battle”, she tells her while glancing over at me.

I guess she hasn’t forgotten the incident yet.

“Well… I am a white ranked adventurer. I should be a pretty decent opponent for your son to fight. Atre here is a guild master, so he can give a proper judgement from an external point of view”, I tell her, but looking at the clerk. She holds up one finger, as if telling me “one second”, and runs off to the back room where I presume the guild master is.

She comes back, and says;

“That should be fine. Atre is a known guild master in Viamyr”.

“Prince! If you did that I would be eternally grateful!”, she tells me

Prince? No need to call me a prince…

“Don’t worry about the titles. Call me Akif. And… again… sorry for almost slaughtering you”, I tell her with a regretful voice.

“Don’t think about it, Prince Akif. We were in the wrong, and King Louvian set us right”.

What did I just say about the titles?

I think Venali has gone into shock. She clearly knows who that woman is, and the fact that she is speaking to us so politely is a concept her brain doesn’t seem to register.

The son has been glaring at me the whole time. I presume he knows what I said and did, and he is not hiding the despise he is feeling for me.

At least I know where I have you.

Eliyon tells the kid;

“Lukas. Is there something wrong? Why are you looking at my beloved like that?”.

She isn’t hiding her stern tone, and it feels like the whole room just got chillier. I never thought the room could get even quieter, but right now it feels like a breath would sound like a fucking tornado.

Yep! Perfect moment!

I force out a fart, and with a

“PPPPRRRRflaflafla”, the silence is broken.

It started out on a high note, but as the fart continued, my ass just started slapping. It was a weird feeling.

I can feel every single gaze laying upon me. Eliyon, Sera and Venali looks at me with speechlessness, and Atre breaks out in laughter.

The kid just looks baffled at me, and his mother – Valeria – lets out a cute “pft”, before gathering herself to her previous demeanour.

“Aaah… that felt nice”, I exclaim with a stone face.

Now an orchestra of smells start tingling in my nose

“Ohh shit! It smells!”

My stone face quickly vanishes as I start smelling the smells of my work. I run towards the kid, and grabs his arm.

“Let’s fight, kid!”, I tell him with a wide grin on my face.

Then I realize I have no fucking idea where to go, so I ask the stunned clerk;

“Uuuh… where do we do this thing?”.

It takes her a second to answer, but she jumps up eventually and starts showing me the way. Atre seems to know the way, so he just lazily follows us as we leave the embarrassed ladies in the smell of my masterpiece.

I can hear the ladies clucking like hens as we leave, but I don’t really care what they are saying. Right now I want to try out what Lukas is capable of.

A small courtyard is found behind the guild. It isn’t as wide as I would like it to be, but I am sure it will be fine.

“Soo… Lukas, was it? Let’s do this!”, I tell him with an excited voice.

I draw my two short swords, and ready a low stance. Lukas doesn’t seem to understand what is happening, but a quick;

“You should draw your weapons. He is not good at holding back. Keep arms and legs away from sharp objects. And don’t stand in one place for too long. I think you might actually die if he hits you with one of those “reminder” blows, as he so fondly calls them”, comment from Atre, sets him right.

OI! You shouldn’t be giving help to my opponent! That is just mean!

He draws a beautiful sword, but it looks too heavy to actually be of any use. Too much gold and shit on it. It also looks blunt for some reason.

“Kid… are you seriously going to fight me with that?”, I ask him.

“Yeah! My father gave it to me. He rode into battle with this sword you know”.

“I highly doubt that… there is not a single scratch on it. It is also equally sharp with my little finger. Here! Take my shorts swords! You will be learning how to wield them from now on”.

Atre just looks at me and shakes his head. A “I should have known this would happen”, slips out between his lips, but he lets us continue.

I draw the daggers I have strapped on my waist, and take a low stance with a wider spread this time.

“Let’s go, kid!”.

I can feel the eyes of Valeria, Eliyon, Sera and Venali looking at me with anticipation.

Lukas runs at me like a charging bull, and I am baffled at his stupidity. A powerful kick to the torso later, and he is laying on the floor on the opposite side of the courtyard.

I look over at the kid, before asking Atre;

“Did I kill him?”.

Atre takes a quick look over at the moaning kid, and responds;

“Naa… he is still making sounds. It just might be the air leaving his lungs, but I think he is still alive. You should not use any telekinesis with this one. He might actually die”.

“Got it”.

“HEY! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CASUAL ABOUT THAT?”, an enraged Tittysaurus yells out.

I just let her be with her rage and I start heading over to the half dead kid laying in a puddle of his own drool. I make sure to completely remove all existence of telekinetic energy in my body before I ask him;

“Are you dead?”

“Nohht yeiit”, he tells me through painful breaths.

I send some Naturakinesis through his body, and to my surprise a shattered ribcage is the only thing I feel. No vital organs damaged significantly.

I send some Naturakinesis to repair the ribcage while I use some Aquakinesis to repair his bruised organs.

It takes me a minute to get him back on his feet, but he eventually gets there.

“Now, kid. If I ever ran into combat like that when I was fighting in the Arena, I would have been so dead my ancestors would feel pity on me. Let’s try that again, and no stupidity this time”, I tell him as I enter my low stance.

He tries to replicate my stance, and to my surprise, he isn’t doing a bad job at it.

“Good! This stance makes it easier to avoid blows. It is called a “high agility stance”. If you know Telekinesis decently, you can send some through these blades”.

“The issue with this stance is that the force of your blows is weakened. That is why I use Ohmium blades. And one more thing! Never EVER let an opponent finish his blow. Interrupt and evade. If the interruption doesn’t work, evade as if your life depends on it. It does. Trust me.”.

I give him a small nod, and ready myself for the unavoidable charge.

Again, to my surprise it doesn’t come.

He just circles me like a scared cat, so I figure I should be the one charging him this time. I put some force into my back leg, and shoot forward. I easily pass through his panicked block, and rest my left blade on his throat while my right is on his heart.

“Never panic. Keep your head cool in combat. The worst thing that can happen is that you die. The best thing that can happen is that your opponent dies”.

Valeria cries out;

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN “THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN IS THAT HE DIES!?”, HE IS MY SON!”.

Aaah… I forgot about her.

“Don’t worry, Tittysaurus 3. I am not planning on killing the kid. He is just learning how to actually fighting. Being in combat is not as glorious as you guys seem to think it is. What the hell have you guys been teaching him, anyways?”

I take a breath before continuing;

“Combat is a dirty business, and the one that cheats the most – wins. Remember that, Lukas. Throw sand in my eyes, kick me in the balls, spit me in the eyes. Everything is allowed in combat. Just make sure you have the advantage over your opponent. And when you have it, don’t grow cocky. Finish the bastard off as fast as possible. If you don’t have the advantage, take it. No one is going to give you anything in combat. You need to take what you want”.

Lukas looks at me with newfound respect, but asks;

“Tittysaurus 3?”

“Don’t worry about it. It is a habit I have made. Your mom and her friends were known as Tittysaurus 1 to 4 before I knew their names. You know… because of those tits?”

He looks at me with a blushing look, but doesn’t say anything. Valeria is beet red, but also keeps her mouth shut. I can see a smile forming on her mouth, but I figure it is nothing.

“HEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “THOSE TITS”! YOU HAVE TWO PAIRS OF GREAT TITS HERE! WHY DO YOU KEEP OOGLING OTHER TITS?”, Eliyon yells out while pointing at her, and Sera’s tits. Sera is just smiling like a mad man, before calming my barrel of gunpowder down.

I get back to my previous location, and tell him;

“Let’s do that again. Now you try to attack me. If you do that panicked block again, I will hit you with a reminder”.

I can see Atre’s face cramping up in pain after hearing that word.

Hey! It’s not that bad. You learn from being reminded of your mistakes. How do you think I survived for so long in the arena?

This is how the next couple of hours passed. People started gathering and cheering on the kid as Lukas got better at wielding my short swords. High agility combat is perfect for the kid, and I am surprised no one have noticed by now. He is a natural at it!

I am not going to say that he became amazing after a couple of hours of training, but he had significant improvement from where he started. I made sure to unlearn some of the worse habits he has with a pretty powerful reminder.

I think his moms heart stopped a few time during out practice, but the girls look oddly pleased at me.

What is it? Why are they smiling at me like that?

Lukas listened to every advice I gave him, and he did actually do a few of them. Like spitting me in the eyes.

It definitely took me by surprise, but I have been through too many situations like this to know what is going to happen. Distraction and a secondary attack is what I specialize in.

What troubled me is the lack of stamina the kid has. We only fought for a couple of hours, but he was pretty much a bag of flesh and bones after I called it. He didn’t even raise my swords at the last couple of rounds.

“Aight, Kid! Let’s call it here. Come to the castle if you have any questions. I should be there for the foreseeable future. You can probably join me and Atre when we train, but try not to die, please? I don’t want to tell your mother we accidentally killed you”.

Hey! I kinda like that kid!

I slap him on his back, but sadly he doesn’t have any more energy left, and face plants into the grass courtyard.

I take him over my shoulder, and carry the exhausted kid out of here.

“Soo… what grade does he get?”, I ask Atre as I start walking to the counter.

“Aaah… I don’t quite know. Red, maybe? Yeah… red should be fine”.

“What are the ranks anyways?”, I ask him.

“Starts with black, then red, dark orange, orange, yellow, light yellow, white and then clear. Red is pretty low on the rankings, but when we are finished with him, he should be able to become a light yellow. Maybe even white after a few years”.

Valeria is fretting over her kid, but Sera tells her that he will be fine.

“He is just a little tired”, she tells the fretting mother.

It is nice to see that even she is human sometimes. Though… I wonder what kind of sacred ritual she had to do to get those tits! They are fucking glorious!

I can feel a kick to my ass, and I discover that I have been caught. Eliyon walks behind me while giving me the death stare, but I just laugh at her, and pull her in for a kiss with my remaining hand.

She tries to offer resistance, but I think it was mostly for show. Sera chuckles at my little elven princess, and the still fretting mother.

How old is he anyways? He looks no more than… 15? Ish?

The clerk notices we have returned, and beams out a smile, and says;

“There you are! What took you guys so long?”

“Akif just had an impromptu tutoring class with the kid, and may have used more time than designated. Sorry if we were of any inconvenience!”, Atre tells the lady.

“Don’t worry. We had a couple of combat tests scheduled, but I think we can fit them in before we close for the day”, she tells him with a reassuring voice.

“So… what grade does he get?”, She asks Atre.

“Red should be fine. That being said, I never actually got to see him wielding the sword he is used to fight with. Akif forced the kid to fight with short swords”, Atre tells her as he sends me a blaming look.

Oi! Don’t look at me! That sword looked pretty, but it had no actual use in combat. I could probably have used that thing as a horse, that’s how blunt it looked!

Lukas seems to have passed out at this point, so I just look at his mother with a smile, and tells her that I will be carrying him home.

She seems relieved to hear those words, and let the exhausted kid be.

I jump on the Dunedime beast, and help my ladies getting up on it. Lukas is laying “Spread eagle”, behind me, and I am surprised if he manages to get home with his buttginity intact. In the barracks it certainly wouldn’t have been intact the next morning.

“You are great with kids, Akif. Maybe I should have one, after all?”