Chapter 4: "Just a slight detour"

‘Hopefully the rest of the day is not as eventual as this morning.’

Feeling slightly refreshed for throwing out the Annoyance, I walk into the living room. My laptop was closed, but as usual, I don’t remember closing it.

Shrugging, I reopen it and press the start button. It only took a few seconds for the monitor to turn on because apparently it was only hibernating and not off.

‘Lucky me.’

I click on my user profile and sitting on my desktop is a word document labeled: Loan documents. Wondering how much I actually managed to complete last night, I open the file.

As I read through what I wrote, my eyes steadily grow wider. Apparently I managed to write out everything before I went to bed. Not sure how, but it’s all there in legal terms.

By the time I reached the end my eyes were probably as wide as those you see in some anime. I wouldn’t know which ones because I read manga rather than watch anime, but I digress.

‘Not sure how the hell I did all this while being soul-numbing tired, but the proof is undeniable. Since that is done what else needs doing today?’

While I was thinking about what I should do next, I received a call from the lawyer I knew.

“Hello.”

“Good morning.”

“Ah. Good morning James.”

“I am just calling in regards to the documents you sent me this morning.”

“Ah? Yeah, what about them?”

“I was just wondering if you really wrote this. No offense but this is professional grade of legalese. If you were a paralegal or a lawyer, I would hire you on the spot.

“But I am not a paralegal, I am an Accountant.”

“Right, but you can believe my skepticism right?”

“I believe it alright, get this. I wrote this “professional grade” legal documents while being soul-numbing tired and I don’t even remember writing it.”

“I see. Despite where it came from, it was well written, contains no loop holes I can find, but I’ll double check, and I find the terms greatly in your favor. How exactly did you come across this loan again?”

“A friend tried to screw me by making me agree to an unspecified loan, I haggled and with him in loan terms and won. Also so he wouldn’t screw me in the details, I wrote the documents myself and now once you approve them, I was going to send them certified mail to him.”

“I see, if you want to stop by my office sometime today, I’ll see what I can do to get them notarized for you and then you can send them off certified mail on your way home?”

“Okay, I’ll try to be there soonish.”

“Oh, can you bring your son? For some reason when he comes over with you, our business booms that day.”

“Got it. See you later.”

“Thanks and have a good morning.”

“Yep, you too.”

*click*

‘Yep, no such thing as a free lunch in this world.’

“Come Zash. It is time for you to earn your keep.”

“Kay~”

I go upstairs and get changed. After getting ready I put a coat on Zash and put him on my shoulder. Despite being as big as he is, he weighs next to nothing and no matter how much I move around he doesn’t fall off.

Needless to say, whenever we go out, he likes to stay on my shoulder. Now James’ office is about an hour from here one way, so I better lock up. I don’t want any Hentais entering the premise while I am away, so I check to make sure all entrances are secure and locked before leaving my apartment.

As I make my way towards James’ office building, I am stopped by multiple people (mostly women) saying how cute my ‘son’ was and that I was so strong carrying him on my shoulder like it was nothing. (Both of those statements were lies, but I don’t bother correcting their mistake.)

Some of them ask where his mother is, and when I tell them I am a single parent (another lie), they start coming on to me asking if I was actively searching for a new mom for my son, and that they didn’t mind marrying someone who already had a son.

Obviously they were planning on using me to get to him, and once we were officially married, they would simply divorce me the next or same day and enter into a custody battle to try to take him from me.

“I am sorry ladies, but until my son says he wants a new mother, I am not looking,” is what I use to try and dissuade them.

“““Aww.”””

“Zash, say good-bye to the ladies.”

“Good bye pretty Onee-chans.”

“Bye-bye Zash, if you ever want a new mommy, I am willing to be your mother.”

And when one of them says that, they all break into an argument on who saw him first and what not. All very boring and tedious, so I take advantage of this chaos each time and flee.

Now this kept happening over and over throughout the trip and caused what should have been an hour trip to take three hours. That ‘boundless energy’ I had this morning was cut by an additional third by the time I reached James’ office building.

Now I am not shy around members of the opposite sex, but it gets tiring when people constantly treat you as a means to an end rather than the end itself. In this case the end was Zash, and I was merely the most convenient way to get to him, but I digress.

So we finally arrive at our destination and proceed inside. Sitting at the front desk was the secretary. If I recall correctly her name was Jill?

“Good morning Jill. James called me earlier about the loan documents I sent earlier.”

“Right. I had you scheduled to arrive two hours ago, and my name is Jane.”

“Ah sorry about that Jane. The reason we were late is because people kept stopping me trying to become this little guy’s mother.”

With that Zash jumps off my shoulder and lands on Jane’s desk with a tiny plop.

“Hello Jane-onee-chan.”

“Hello Zash-kun. If you ever feel like leaving that pathetic oaf, I am always willing to take you in.”

“I am right here you know.”

“And? Father already knows you’re here, so get moving.”

“Hai. Hai.”

For the record, Jane is 18 years old and is James’ daughter. I’ve known James for a long time, but we are probably not close enough to be considered friends, but he might be more like a mentor to me since he is old enough to be my father.

Regardless, it seems Jane hates my guts, but I don’t really mind because at least she isn’t trying to get Zash by going through me, but trying to persuade Zash to leave me and go to her. It’s quite refreshing actually.

“Zash, you may play with Jane if you want, but don’t cause any trouble.”

“Hai~”

I leave them and enter James’ office.

“Welcome, I was expecting you to arrive earlier. Did you experience some sort of delay?”

“To say the least.” I sit down inform of him and quickly explain the contents of our trek.

“Girls line up seeking your hand in marriage? Quite enviable.”

“Not really. And they aren’t even looking at me at all. All they see is Zash and I am just the most convenient way to get to him.”

“I see. Then how about my daughter Jane? She is at the marriageable age.”

“Please do not joke around like that. Besides she seems to hate me so that is out of the question.”

“I see. So that is how it looks like to you.”

“James, please stop. We aren’t here to talk about this but the legal documents.”

“Ah right. I’m sorry. I let the joke run a little too far.”

“As long as it remains a joke, I am fine with it.”

“…”

“The loan documents?”

“Ah yes. One second.”

James takes out a folder from his desk and places it in front of me.

“I took a few liberties of expanding it to prevent any loopholes from being exploited.”

“Many thanks. May I have a look at it?”

“Of course. It’s your loan after all.”

I read through the changes and see that they closed loop holes that I never thought existed.

“Looks good, now all that is left is to notarize them and send it to the other party via certified mail.”

“Yes and luckily we have a notary on staff.”

“Indeed.”

James picks up his phone and dials an extension number.

“Hello Jane? Can you please call Erica and tell her to come over to my office?”

“Tell mom to come to your office, got it.”

“Oh and please tell her to bring her notary tools.”

“Kay~”

James hangs up and looks at me.

“She should be on her way now.”

“How is Erica-san?”

“She is doing fine, but she is at that age where she wants another child before being unable to have anymore.”

“Good luck on that Old man.”

“Now see here, I am not that old yet. I can still make her…”

Before he finishes his sentence, Erica-san walks in. Now even though she is already 38 she doesn’t look a day over 25, but it’s not only that. She has an enchanting beauty that puts others to shame.

‘It’s a pity that Jane didn’t inherit an iota of her beauty, because it might have just made her personality barely bearable. Just barely though. Oh well, spilt milk.’

“You can make me what, Dear? And good afternoon Robert. I saw Jane playing with Zash so I knew you were here.”

Ah my name is out, and I was trying so hard to keep it a secret too. Oh well.

“Good afternoon, Erica-san. James was just talking about…”

James hurriedly and covered my mouth and completed my sentence.

“… how lovely you were and that I was a lucky man to have you as my wife.”

Sweat was forming on James’ brow. From this exchange it was clear who exactly wore the pants in the family.

‘Maybe Jane got her bad personality from her mother? Or maybe she just has a rotten personality with me? Should I be honored or worried? Meh, not my problem.’

I remove James’ hand from my mouth and ask Erica-san if she can notarize these loan documents.

“Of course. I do believe that is the reason I was called here.” She looks at her husband sternly.

“Of-of course.”

‘This is probably another reason why I stay single. I don’t want a domineering wife.’

Once the documents are signed and notarized, I thank Erica-san.

“Thank you for helping me out Erica-san.”

“It was my pleasure. Oh. Have you heard about the game Royal Road? Jane has been talking about endlessly, and I was just wondering if you knew about it?”

“Royal Road? I do but I must send these documents via certified mail by today.”

“No worries. Dear?”

“Y-yes, Honey?”

“Be a dear, and go send these loan documents for him.”

“But Honey, what if…”

Erica-san gives him another stern look.

“Right-o. Off I go to mail these documents...”

“Wait!” I call out to James.

“Hmm?” He turns around with hope glistening in his eyes.

“You forgot the address you need to mail it to.”

I pull out a memo and write down the address and hand it to James.

“Oh. Thanks. Right, have fun with your chat.”

He turns around and leaves his office.

“Now that your task is taken care of, I do believe you are free to talk with me about Royal Road now, correct?”

“I suppose so.”

I spend the next few hours explaining what I knew about the game called Royal Road to Erica-san.

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