《The Age of Man》Oops!
Advertisement
There was a section of Chapter 9.2 missing from the original rough draft. Feel free to go back and read it with the first 1900 words actually there. It was supposed to be a longer chapter to make up for the lack of two posts and a delay of so long between posts. That's all I had to say…Here’s the opening scene from monty python and the holy grail to fill the other 400 words or so.
[wind]
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
[clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
SOLDIER #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
SOLDIER #1: What? Ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
SOLDIER #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
SOLDIER #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
SOLDIER #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
ARTHUR: We found them.
SOLDIER #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
SOLDIER #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
SOLDIER #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Not at all. They could be carried.
SOLDIER #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Advertisement
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk
SOLDIER #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
SOLDIER #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
SOLDIER #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
SOLDIER #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
SOLDIER #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
SOLDIER #1: But then of course, uh, African swallows are non-migratory.
SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah.
SOLDIER #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
[clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2: Well, why not?
Advertisement
- In Serial57 Chapters
Grave of the Goddess
The Labyrinth was a test crafted by the Goddess, an unending and deadly place filled with worlds inside of worlds which threatend to devour any who entered. Many of the people who had tried to pass through to the final floor never even came close, a large amount failing on the earliest floors. One soul fought his way through and managed to reach the final realm, facing off against the final trial and barely succeeding. In the end his life was the cost for that, and with a final breath he accepted the end of his life with dignity and grace. Then he woke up.
8 200 - In Serial63 Chapters
Where Titans Fall
I was taken from my home and brought to a distant land, Alone. I arrived a Boy, treated as a Slave, Conscripted as a Soldier, survived as a Huntsman, and claimed my vengeance as a Titan. After decades of fighting a war I had no part in, and having lost all those I hold dear. I returned home, a broken and tired man. Only to find that maybe my war has only just begun. Aleks’Andros Titanos returns home after five decades at war, hoping to find a place to belong and a chance at peace. But fate has a cruel sense of humor and old habits die hard, as he’s faced with the realization that his homeworld may not have been as mundane as he’d once thought. Vampires stalk the night and werewolves roam the countryside, all the while witches barter their craft and covert government organizations scheme. Will he find the life he’s looking for, or will he be forced to regain the powers he left behind and face the demons of his past? Only time will tell.
8 92 - In Serial16 Chapters
The Chronicles of the Beast Master
Sania Pendragon is a normal lady that lived her life peacefully. She had a normal life, married someone, bore children, and lived long enough to see her grandchildren. Everything that she ever wanted was already given, and in the end, she was satisfied with her life.After dying, she met the god and was transferred to another world, even though she didn't want to. What would she do in a new world when everything she wished for was already given to her in her past life?
8 163 - In Serial10 Chapters
Natural Alchemist
Will is poor. This is a fact he does not like about himself. Even back at his home village he was considered poor, but poor in the big city means something completely different than poor in a small village... It means ten hour days of hard manual labor with barely enough money to survive, and poor living conditions. He's sick of it, and desperate for change. Perhaps that was what made him decide to spend such a large portion of his savings on a mysterious potion from that beggar... That, and it seemed so special when he held it. But ever since that day, he's been having the strangest dreams... And the work is really starting to take a toll on his body... Author's Note: I wasn't sure which mature content warnings I should put on this novel, as I'm pretty much pantsing the story. I'm putting them there mostly as a percaution, but also to not limit myself as to where the story can go. This is my first time writing and publishing anything substantial. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
8 88 - In Serial10 Chapters
R-Suit
The R-Suit, the pinnacle of engineering in the current world. A type of giant mech whose presence is able to single-handedly start, prevent, or end wars. On one end of Iltzik, the capital of Huitzli, the young Tzilpapali has just ascended to the ranks of the very few engineers able to create an R-Suit by herself. But what will happen to her when its existence becomes a defining factor in an upcoming war against a foreign nation? Follow this Aztec and Prehispanic-inspired mecha sci-fi story to find out!
8 103 - In Serial10 Chapters
Fortnite Oneshots
Fortnite one shots for you!
8 86
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
