We went home that day.

Every moment that passed, Voldemort and his army grew.

Every moment that passed, his army grew.

People were dying, not just witches and wizards, muggles too.

I drank and smoked every day.

From the moment I woke up, to the moment I went to sleep.

That was the only thing I could do that would numb my existence.

That was the only thing I could do to keep Draco off of my mind, even of it was only for a second.

That was the only thing that would relieve the burning in my heart.

After about a month of being home, my family kicked me out.

They were scared they were going to be a target.

They didn't care what happened to me, as long as they didn't get involved.

I left the house with only the clothes on my back, my wand, cigarettes, and my small jar of Peruvian Instant Darkness Power.

I took the night bus to Hermione's house, it was either there or the Weasley's.

My owl Rose met me at the front door of her house.

I pulled my wand out, as I walked up to her front door.

Alohomora I casted at her door, unlocking it.

I slowly creaked the door open.

Hermione stood there, with her wand lit up.

"I had a feeling that you were coming." Hermione gave me a smile.

She lead me up to her room.

"You pack light." She chuckled.

"Didn't have a choice, I was kicked out." I sighed, sitting on her floor.

"You can stay here, my parents won't mind. It'll be nice... not to be alone and all...." Hermione trailed off.

I guess she felt just as lonely as I did.

Draco's owl pecked at her window.

She got up, and took the note from its beak.

"Darling, I miss you. When can I see you? - Draco " Hermione read the note out loud.

"Fuck off." I stood up, flipped the bird off, and slammed with window shut.

I grabbed the cup of water from her night stand.

I tapped it with my wand, turning it into liquor.

"Drinking isn't going to make him go away." Hermione told me as I sipped by cup.

"I know, but it sure does help." I sat down on the floor again.

Hermione quickly moved herself to the floor next to me.

"You haven't been sleeping well, you've got blue bags underneath your eyes. You've been drinking and smoking all of your meals, your cheek bones are sunk in. You can't take it out on yourself. You're punishing yourself for something you didn't do, something you can't control." Hermione wrapped her arm around me.

I could feel the tears fill my eyelids, making my vision blurry.

"It's just so hard to put my feelings into words." I spoke with a shaky voice, as I laid my head on her shoulder.

"Try your best." She softly rubbed my shoulder.

"I don't know what to say. My heart aches, and I don't know how to fix it. I just can't believe that he was behind this all. Draco was the one who cursed Katie, and put the poison in the wine, and let deatheaters into the school." I kept my cries quiet and soft.

"A lot happened at once. Like you guys said, he lowered his wand. I don't believe Draco wanted this to happen." Hermione reassured me.

"I just don't know anymore. This whole past year, he's been upset about something. This something he couldn't tell me. Draco kept saying, 'it's best if you didn't get involved', if I would have known that it meant he was a deatheater.... I would have tried to stop him." I lifted up my head off of her shoulder, and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I know, you did everything you could. You tried your best."

I took a long swig from the cup.

"I don't know what to do. I feel so selfish for feeling this way, like 'poor me for having my heart stepped on'. The whole world is going to shit and I'm sitting here feeling bad for myself!" I swallowed my cries.

"Bad timing I guess, but you can't keep holding all that in. If your not expressing it, then you're holding it in... and that gets heavy." Hermione softly took the cup from my hands, and set it aside.

"I wish I could get him out of my head, but every time I look at this ring..." I lifted my hand up, "all the memories of what Draco and I use to have... flood back at once."

She pushed my hand down, and covered it with her hand.

"I wish I took that ring off when I had the chance." I closed my eyes, trying to push the thought of Draco out of my head.

"No you don't. You're a terrible liar, and you know it. You care too much about him, and you hate yourself for it." Hermione whispered to me.

She was right.

Hermione was always right.

"I don't think he meant to hurt you, you're too precious to him." Hermione spoke quietly.

"Maybe, but we will never know." I shook my head.

We laid down for the night.

Hermione slept on her bed, and I slept on the floor.

Crookshanks curled up next to me.

I would usually push her away, but not tonight.

I guess I missed the feeling of sleeping next to someone.

As I laid on the floor, the thoughts of Draco battled in my head.

He was in every thought that crossed my mind.

Draco occupied every inch of my body.

Draco had such a hold on my soul, and no matter how hard I tried.... his grip he had on me wouldn't loosen.