《Road of the Immortal Tao》Chapter 22. How to properly woo a lady
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Seeing the person descending, Herman felt like face-palming. Just when he decided to stop complaining about his luck, this happens! To think that the Inspector called on the scene would be Yi Xuan, the custodian of The Valley of Fallen Blossoms, the same sect he was planning to join.
This was a major screw-up! He remembered from his past life what sort of reputation this woman had... and it wasn't good for him. At all!
"Can I please catch a break!? How come I got the man-hater out of all other possible Inspectors nearby!? Even Never and Abs were beaten straight into unconsciousness by this woman when they dared to hit on her... Poor bastards actually wanted to sign a master-servant contract with her and instead had to lay in bed for a couple of weeks before being able to get up again."
Remembering the traumatized faces of those two, he couldn't help but smile, a detail that didn't escape the eyes of the descending Inspector. While Herman was reminiscing of the past, she was already using the System to gather information about what happened. The visual information was not lacking either, with cultivators beaten half an inch to death and an actual corpse lying at the feet of the smiling man. With a gaping hole in the chest of the victim and some blood still on the hands of the young man, she already had an inkling about what happened.
What made things weird for Yi Xuan, was that she couldn't get any details about this guy. Even with her status as Inspector, the System was rejecting her request for this cultivator's attribute panel, mentioning how he has selected it to be hidden. That could be only one of three reasons: either he has a higher title than she does, he has something to hide, or he is one of the newbies that ascended to the Immortal World in the recruitment that just happened.
Seeing the other tens of people standing behind this guy, willing to share responsibility, she used her title to check their panels as well, getting the same result.
She concluded that they were all newbies. To think that one of them had the gal to murder someone as soon as they entered their world...
[I have seen all I needed to see. I will pass my judgment now! You, what's your name?](Yi Xuan)
Seeing her slender finger point his way, Herman couldn't help but sigh. This woman was incredibly biased against men because of her father. He left her and her mother while she was still young, driving her mother to suicide. Obviously, that would create a lasting impression on men's general conduct. The problem was that now, this woman was using her authority to 'judge' him without checking the facts or getting some statements from the hundreds of witnesses present.
Unknowingly, Herman was getting pissed.
"Herman Roy."
[Herman, is it? What do you have to say in your defense? Not only did you heavily injured 24 cultivators, but you also destroyed a Nascent Soul cultivator's avatar. And that happened only minutes after you arrived in our world. Heavens know what will happen in the future...](Yi Xuan)
"May I know how you reached a verdict without knowing all the facts? It looks to me that you are an investigator of some type, yet you didn't even bother asking the witnesses around me what happened before coming to a conclusion. If that's how things work in the Immortal World, I am slightly disappointed."
[Silence! The way I conduct my investigation is not something a mere Qi Gathering fledgling should inquire about! Is it true that you killed this avatar and wounded the remaining 24 cultivators? Yes or no?](Yi Xuan)
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Herman was also aware that the 'gramps' he killed was only an avatar. While it looked like a human, his blood was a bright pink, sign that it wasn't. That coupled with the fact that the old man called himself an elder of a sect made it quite obvious. Even a low-ranking Basic Rank sect had Nascent Soul cultivators as its elders. Judging by the weak strength of the avatar, the old man must be at the early stages of Nascent Soul.
However, the problem at hand was that this annoying woman was pushing all the blame on him without even checking the facts. His annoyance was increasing in levels and he was doing his best to remain calm.
"Indeed, I did. But that..."
[I said yes or no! Since you already admitted to being guilty, there's nothing left to discuss. You are coming with me to the prison.](Yi Xuan)
Seeing how unreasonable this woman was, Herman turned speechless. He woke up fast when her fair hand was grabbing his shoulder, but there was no way in hell he could fight her for real. She seemed to be at the Nascent Soul realm as well. Luckily, he donned the Mortal Things equipment, getting a bit of a boost that would give him a chance to escape at least. But with only 40 or so extra attributes, there wasn't much he could do.
Also, since this unreasonable woman was not listening, he wanted to teach her a lesson in the process.
"Unhand me." - he said in a cold emotionless voice
[Hmpf! Or what? Are you going to attack me as well?](Yi Xuan)
"Don't say I didn't warn you..."
With quick movements, he faked a punch towards the woman's face. Sneering and using her empty hand to defend herself, she created a blindspot that Herman used to grab her other hand, take a step closer to her and draw her into his embrace forcefully. With such a sudden turn of events, nevermind the woman herself, the watching crowd was stunned and were preparing to drop to their knees and worship this young lad. First, he fought on his own against 23 Foundation and 2 Golden Core cultivators, beating them with ease, and now when the unreasonable Inspector didn't want to listen to his side of the story, he embraced her forcefully trying to woo her.
Everyone knew how much this lady hated men, yet now she was flustered and bashfully red whist in his embrace. Brother! You are about to smash through the Heavens!
[Unhand me! How dare you!?](Yi Xuan)
"Hmpf! Or what? Are you going to attack me again?"
[You... I'll kill you!](Yi Xuan)
Seeing her own words used against her, her bashfulness vaporized and anger suffused instead. Herman noticed the change and realized that if he kept embracing her, he might find his own heart smashed through by her pretty hands. Therefore, he decided to change their... ahem! ... position!
While using his left foot as a pivot, he pushed his right behind hers and leaned forward. Seeing his face closing in on hers, she became flustered once more and tried to back away. Unfortunately, she tripped herself and literally fell in his arms. With another series of quick movements, he changed her position from one that looked like two lovers embracing each other, to a princess carry. What was even funnier, was that while falling and when Herman caught her, she used both of her hands to secure herself... by winding them around his neck.
To everyone else watching, it looked like the valiant Inspector had changed her mind and jumped in the young man's arms voluntarily, preparing themselves to go to bed in the middle of the day. Some of the smithen young cultivators that had long fallen for Yi Xuan's charms even started cursing at Herman while swearing to enter monkhood in the future. The young ladies of the crowd were also blushing furiously at the daring display in front of them.
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"Are you okay, my unreasonable lady?"
Seeing his face so up-close and feeling the warmth of his body on hers, she quickly realized what just happened. Hitting both of his arms that were supporting her back and an area too close to her buttocks, she freed herself from this gigantic pervert and distanced herself from him. Hearing the almost wailing young men of the crowd and looking at the blushing ladies whispering among themselves while looking at her with envy, she almost toppled to the ground.
Envy your head! He just took advantage of me while I tried to arrest him, alright!? Why is your imagination running so wild in the middle of the day!?
[This... this is all your fault!] - she growled at Herman through gritted teeth
"I beg to differ, my unreasonable lady. If you would've done your job properly and investigated what happened, none of this would've occurred." - he answered in a nonchalant tone
While taking deep breaths in order to calm herself down, Herman saw how chilly her eyes turned. If he wouldn't provide a proper explanation, he might just die yet another undignified death.
"First off, let me start by asking you since when does Mount Taihang allow evil cultivators on its grounds? Also, why are the Inspectors and Censors turn a blind eye to their deeds?"
[Stop talking nonsense! Everyone knows that Mount Taihang is the territory belonging to my sect and our alignment is to the benevolent side. You can use that mouth of yours to speak, but you better not defame my sect in such a way!](Yi Xuan)
"Oh, is that so? I might be mistaken then. Does this lady recognize the garbage littering the ground?"
[Hmpf! They are the Crimson Lotus gang. Small-time local bullies arrested a couple of times for creating disorder and getting into fights. How does that make them evil cultivators? If you have an explanation, you better get to it fast. My patience is running thin!](Yi Xuan)
"Patience? You!? You attacked me from the moment you saw me and you have the cheek to say that you have patience? Your skin is thicker than your city's walls woman!"
"*Cough* Then, does this lady know how can an evil cultivator be identified?"
[That's basic knowledge, so would you please hurry up? I have other things to do today. By going against the natural will of the Heavens and committing atrocious deeds, one's Qi becomes tainted, therefore affecting their blood. Instead of a normal deep red, it turns blackish.](Yi Xuan)
"Indeed." - Herman applauded her, much to her dissatisfaction
[I still don't see your point. The man you killed was an avatar, so there's no way to prove that he's an evil cultivator, while the men on the ground are somewhat troublesome, but everyone knows them for decades. There's no way... YOU! What are you doing! Stop!](Yi Xuan)
Unfortunately, she was too late. Herman unsheathed the sword on his waist and slashed towards the 'grandson', severing some of his fingers. The poor bastard that just fainted because of the immense pain of having his back broken, was rudely awakened by yet another 'bout of pain. Seeing such actions from Herman, the already infuriated Inspector acted out with all her strength, knocking his sword away with one hand and clasping his throat with the other.
What unnerved her was how calm this guy actually was.
[Do you really take me for a scarecrow!?](Yi Xuan)
"Now, now! I sincerely doubt there could be such a beautiful scarecrow anywhere in this world."
[Fine, you bastard! If you want to die so badly, I'll help you fulfill your wish!](Yi Xuan)
[Enough! Both of you!](?)
Yet another beautiful lady descended from the skies, casting a curtain of sorts over the one who's fingers were just cut. The crowd was unable to see him anymore, but those more sharp-minded realized that something happened. Was the leader of the Crimson Lotus gang truly an evil cultivator?
Before anyone could ask any questions, more enforcers arrived at the scene. Their numbers were quite impressive and so was their cultivation. Even the worst of the lot was at the latter levels of the Foundation realms, while the elites were almost knocking at the Nascent Soul realm.
[Sister Wu, why are you here?](Yi Xuan)
[Mostly because you were hot-headed yet again and almost created a mess that would affect our sect master's reputation... Unhand him, he's not at fault.](?)
[But I just saw him slash the fingers of that guy over there... Huh!? Black blood!?](Yi Xuan)
"I told you my pretty yet unreasonable lady. You just didn't want to listen."
Seeing this young man that hasn't even stepped on the cultivation path properly taking advantage of her sister in such a subtle manner, the newcomer couldn't help but giggle. She had witnessed everything from the beginning since she thought that it might be a big issue occurring with over sixty calls for an Inspector. Therefore, wanting to help her big sister, she followed Yi Xuan here. Who knew that this rascal would actually embrace her in such a bold manner and even force her in a princess carry. If the situation wouldn't have been so serious, she would've used a recording talisman and bring it to her sect master to laugh together.
This guy was... interesting!
[Appologies for my older sister. She can be quite... strong-headed at times. My name is Wu Xinyan, an elder of The Valley of the Fallen Blossoms.](Wu Xinyan)
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance fairy. If I knew there is a place with women as beautiful as yourselves, I would've arrived here faster. My name is Herman Roy."
[*Giggle* You didn't take enough liberties with my older sister and now you want to lay your hands on the younger one as well? You're quite the insatiable one, aren't you?](Wu Xinyan)
"*Cough* Cough* Surely fairy Wu is joking."
[Hehe! I am most certainly not. Since you are obviously one of the recruits and are so capable already, maybe this 'fairy' might fall in love with you as well. Being able to sleep with big sister Xuan on one side and myself on the other, wouldn't you be laughing even in your dreams?](Wu Xinyan)
[*Smack* Enough of your nonsense Xinyan! What liberties are you talking about? This bastard dared to attack me twice. He's lucky to be still alive... Hmpf! Now focus on the matter at hand. If these other bastards are indeed evil cultivators, we might be able to link them to the missing girls in our city and give their families some closure. Have the guards arrest them and bring them for interrogation.](Yi Xuan)
Holding both her hands over her head and looking pitifully at Herman as if he's been the reason because of which she was wronged, it made the latter burst in cold sweat. She might be beautiful, but in a way, she's much scarier than the first blockhead that didn't even figure out how he was taking advantage of the situation to cop a feel. To make matters worse, she was also at the early stages of Nascent Soul, but her foundations were much stronger than that old gramps from the looks of it.
With the groaning cultivators from the Crimson Lotus being arrested and carried to the nearby holding facility, Herman realized how much changed from his past life until now. Maybe this time around, there will be fewer innocent girls that would have to suffer at the hands of these bastards.
[Hmm? Now that's interesting. For someone that just arrived at our world, the amount of hate you hold against the ones you just beat to into a pulp it's quite disproportionate. Care to explain?](Wu Xinyan)
[Eh? Is that so? I knew there was something strange with this bastard! I should kill you after all!](Yi Xuan)
Herman almost choked to death when he heard the second girl's remark. The hell!? She was just nitpicking and trying to find a reason to off him, wasn't she!? But the real problem was indeed the younger 'sister'. She was way too observant for her own good.
"Nothing much. I just hate scum like them. From what I found out from the System, only Heaven knows how many innocent women suffered in their hands."
[Hehe! With a glib tongue like yours, I'm sure it's just as many as you made suffer.](Wu Xinyan)
[Hmm!? He's an evil cultivator as well? I knew it! You bastard, let me cut you up a bit. If the color of your blood is deep red, I might even let you live!](Yi Xuan)
"What deep red you absolute madwoman! To get a deep red color you have to cut too much! And this other fox! She is just specifically using obscure words to incense her older sister..."
Opening his System's interface, he adjusted his pannel to show only his name, cultivation level, and titles. After that, he showed it to the girls, drawing a gasp from each. It was to be expected, given that he held the same title of Inspector as the older sister and also the Censor title that only their sect master had. How could the System allow such authority to fall in the hands of a Qi Gathering realm newbie!?
Herman was aware of the reason behind their shock as well. Leaving aside the amount of SJ one had to spend for those two titles, the authority within the System that one would gain would be immense as well. Like for example, seeing another cultivator's attribute pannel. Even an Inspector couldn't forcibly pull someone else's panel if the said person selected for it to remain hidden. A Censor on the other hand didn't have to ask the cultivator to unselect that option and show it, but could directly bypass everything and just look at the damned thing.
[I guess that explains how you knew they were evil cultivators...](Wu Xinyan)
"Indeed. Their Personality sub-panel showed high levels of Malevolence. Therefore I figured out they were up to no good. That coupled with the fact that they tried to forcibly get us to join this sect called the Altar of Heaven and Earth, made me think of sacrifices."
[Careful, Herman! While that sect is not a benevolent one, you might not want to accuse them so openly, even in front of a different sect.](Wu Xinyan)
[Well, given that he already killed the avatar of one of their elders, I wonder just what he won't do!](Yi Xuan)
[He did what!?](Wu Xinyan)
"Well... gramps attacked and I defended myself. Couldn't do much about that."
[That's not good... What elder was it?](Wu Xinyan)
"I think he called himself Ji Beidou. He was the grandparent of the leader of that whatever gang."
[This keeps getting better and better... That old fart is a vengeful one. Not only did you kill his avatar probably forcing him to drop one cultivation level, but you also crippled his grandson and exposed him for being an evil cultivator. I can't see a future where he doesn't take revenge on you.](Wu Xinyan)
[Indeed. While you are annoying, you do hold the Inspector and Censor titles, therefore you have a benevolent alignment. You should find a sect to join if you want to survive.](Yi Xuan)
"It seems like our thoughts are aligned, my beautiful yet unreasonable lady. I was just thinking of joining your sect. Any slots opened?"
[Pfft!](Wu Xinyan)
[Over my dead body!!!](Yi Xuan)
Herman sighed and wondered if he hit his head when he decided to get the three servants from this sect. This was more difficult than having to survive the onslaught of an evil sect while still at the Qi Gathering realm. Especially if your targets were ones that weren't usually ascendable, like for example, the two ladies in front of him.
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